


caught in your riptide

by bluetails



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Aquamarine inspired, Coming of Age, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Jeon Wonwoo-centric, M/M, Summer Fic, Underage Drinking, also jealous mingyu, mingyu's a bit of a flirt but hes sweet, need to protect both of them, phobias and fears, side jeongcheol, wonwoo needs some hugs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:27:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 72,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24766933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluetails/pseuds/bluetails
Summary: Wonwoo's summer vacation turns upside down when he finds an injured boy washed up on shore, and decides to rescue him. After all, what the hell is he supposed to do when he learns that said boy, aka Kim Mingyu, is actually a merman that ran away from home?He doesn't want to spend the summer babysitting the rebellious boy... but perhaps good things often come in unexpected ways.〖Playlist〗
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu
Comments: 219
Kudos: 469





	1. Intertidal Zone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first meeting.

If Wonwoo could throw himself out of this ugly gray Toyota Corolla without dying, he would.

It would be like the opening scene of Lady Bird.

Except the reality was, the car was zooming 110 down the highway, so the chances of surviving: not great. And also unlike Lady Bird, he wasn’t arguing with his mother about anything.

There was no palpable emotion between them. No anger or frustration, no endless nagging and droning about how disappointed she was in him— the way regular mothers often did to their children in dreadful car rides.

All that sat between them was the driving stick, the dashboard with its various buttons and dials, a half empty Starbucks’ coffee cup, and a seemingly infinite trail of silence.

It was almost like they were strangers. Like Wonwoo was just a hitchhiker she’d picked up by the edge of the highway or something. Except even strangers would be talking about _something_. About what they do, who they are, where they’re going… but not them. 

It had been three whole fucking hours like this.

At first the quiet hung over them like gray overcast. But by now Wonwoo was wondering how it could feel this suffocating to sit shotgun while your mother drove, despite nothing obstructing your airway.

Maybe he just wasn’t _worth_ saying anything to? 

He knew that he was already labelled as a hopeless case by his family. Tossing him away to his aunt’s house for the summer, was emergency mode kind of stuff. His parents had reached their ends, and thought this was the only way to “save him” from throwing his life away.

Except the thing was, this trip to spend his summer vacation with his aunt wouldn’t magically save him.

He was sure of that.

He wasn’t suddenly the main character in any coming of age movie. And they weren’t driving to any destination that would open him up to life changing experiences, where he would learn and grow and become someone worthwhile by the end, all neatly packed and digested in 120 minutes.

This was all so, _useless_.

“Here we are,” his mother said after she parked on the roadside. It was the first thing she’d said through the whole car ride.

Wonwoo blinked out his window, at the petite little beach house he’d be trapped in for the next three months. It looked too quaint and welcoming for him to hate, but he already did.

It had an indigo tiled roof, and the walls were painted a pale pastel yellow that reminded him of something like Easter eggs, or daisies, or mellow summer mornings. The front yard had no grass, just mulch and spots of bushes of brightly coloured tropical flowers. There were also palm trees and looming deciduous trees that created dappled sunlight all around the house.

“It looks nice,” his mother said quietly. Wonwoo didn’t respond to that and simply stepped out of the car.

The two of them hauled out his suitcases and headed up the white tiled driveway.

The moment he rang the doorbell, there was barking, and Wonwoo instantly froze. He cautiously shuffled back a step.

The main door swung open, and from behind the door screen that remained shut, he could see a Golden Retriever with shaggy fur and floppy ears jumping up and down excitedly.

“Calm down Sol,” a woman laughed, leaning down and ushering the dog away from the entrance. She opened the screen door and slipped outside to greet them on the porch.

“Well well, if it isn’t my lousy sister,” his aunt exclaimed with a grin.

Wonwoo tried to mask the surprise he felt scanning her over. The last time he met her was years ago, so his memory of her was a little fuzzy. But now that she was standing in front of him with her hands on her hips, he was taken aback by her appearance.

She wore a black romper with a belt tied above her waist, and a locket that glinted in the sun around her neck. Her hair was dyed in streaks of dirty blond and they curled and blew in the breeze. Large sunglasses rested atop her head and her lips were painted with dark lipstick.

If Wonwoo didn’t know any better she looked more like a _college student_ than his aunt. She had none of that washed out, tired old adult air that his mother carried.

But then again, he knew that she was only 28 years old. Far younger than his mother, so her appearance probably made sense.

“Hello Bora,” his mother curtly greeted her, and Wonwoo could immediately sense the strange tension that hung between them. The temperature was cool from the ocean breeze, but for some reason the air felt thick and somewhat heavy.

Wonwoo began wondering why he hadn’t seen his aunt in so many years until now. Growing up, there was no person that he looked up to more than her. So when they stopped seeing her, it felt like something important was being taken away from him. He asked his parents a few times about her, but they just dismissed his questions saying she was just busy, that’s all. Wonwoo eventually stopped asking why they couldn’t see her anymore.

His aunt turned to look at him now with a smile, seemingly trying to ignore the tension.

“And well if it isn’t Jeon Wonwoo! You’ve gotten way taller since I last saw you!” she exclaimed.

It was true, puberty hit him like a truck the last two years, and now Wonwoo was almost a head taller than both his mother and aunt. She reached up and roughly mussed up his hair. He grimaced on reflex, moving away from the touch. He never liked being touched. His aunt only snickered at that and looked to his mother again.

“So how long am I keeping this grumpy kid huh?” she asked.

“I’ll come pick him up on the first weekend of September if that works for you.”

“Oh wow,” his aunt murmured. “You really meant it when you said you wanted to drop him off for the summer huh.”

“Of course I meant it.”

“Okay then,” his aunt smiled, but there was a faint bitterness in the curve of her lips. “We’re even now after this, right sis?”

Wonwoo glanced between the two women, a bit confused as to what was going on.

His mother didn’t seem to respond to those words; instead she simply said, “I should get going now.”

“Not even coming inside for a bit?”

“I have work tomorrow, and it’s a long drive. I should get back before it’s dark.”

“Okay.” His aunt simply shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

For the first time in well… probably all of today, his mother turned to look at him in the eyes. She wore a neutral expression, but if Wonwoo looked hard enough, he could sense melancholy simmering beneath the dark hues of brown in her irises.

“Take care of yourself,” she said. “Take this summer to…” her voice trailed off. “You already know right?”

Wonwoo couldn’t even manage a nod.

Because the truth was, _he didn’t know_. He was lost, and confused and stumbling blindly. Not that she understood. But it wasn’t her problem to understand. This was his own problem, and he’d already fucked up enough. He needed to fix things, no matter what.

When Wonwoo didn’t respond she only sighed. She stepped closer to him as if she was going to give him a hug, but all he received were a few pats on his shoulder. Then she turned away.

Wonwoo looked down at his two bags of luggage, one of which his aunt took in her hands. She was saying something about unpacking, but her voice was faraway in his ears, distant and muffled, and he couldn’t register the words.

He looked up at his mother’s back. Her steps were slow, moving down the porch and the slope of the driveway, further and further away from him. Even from here, he could see her hunched over shoulders and the way her steps carried a tiredness.

It was Wonwoo’s fault that she was like that. It was all his fault.

His lower lips trembled. He was tempted to do something stupid right now— like cry.

And as Wonwoo watched her retreating back, he suddenly forgot that he would be a highschool senior in three months. He forgot how he was a near-adult that could already drive, and work, and dare he say: take care of himself.

Instead he was just a little kid that wanted to run after his mother. He wanted to run into her arms and have her hold him. He wanted to plead for her not to leave him behind because he was scared of this unfamiliar place, and he didn’t want to be more alone than he already was.

Wonwoo’s eyes stung pathetically.

He stood there for as long as it took for the ugly gray Toyota Corolla to disappear down the road.

After unpacking, Wonwoo laid in the bed that was meant for him, in one of the empty rooms in the house.

Nearly everything in the room was a barren white, and it felt so unlived in that it made a lonely feeling rock back and forth in his chest. He pulled himself back up, wanting to get out of here. He got up and splashed some cold water on his face before heading downstairs.

From the staircase, he turned 180 and began walking down a short corridor. Picture frames lined it, and he couldn’t help but look at each of them as he slowly made his way through the hallway.

The pictures were of his aunt. He could tell they were shot a few years ago because he could faintly recognize which Olympics and swimming competitions they were taken in.

There was a picture of her sitting by the edge of a pool, fixing her goggles. Then was her crouched down, readying herself to dive down from the ledge into her lane. The third picture lined against the wall was her standing on the podium, beaming with her fist held high up in triumph. A gold medal gleamed around her neck. He lingered at that photo a little longer.

These pictures were reminders of why Wonwoo looked up to her so much growing up. He still had memories of eagerly rushing to the television and turning it onto the sports channel to watch her in awe. He wanted to be just like her one day.

But looking at these photos now just made him sick to his stomach. In the background he could hear the faint rush of water, the ocean tides pulling in and out of the coast, and it made the nauseating feeling only climb higher.

He closed his eyes and tried to shake away the feeling before moving further down the corridor, until he stopped at the first photo that _wasn’t_ of her swimming career.

Wonwoo stared at the framed photo of her, with an Asian woman he didn’t recognize. They were standing at the beach, beaming smiles on their faces, arms slung around each other’s shoulders and heads tilted together. For some reason the photo made him feel strange. He was curious. His aunt had no openly displayed photos of any other person in this house— no husband, no family, no children… except for this one.

“Whatcha looking at?”

Her voice made him jump.

“I was just um… looking at your photos,” Wonwoo said, his cheeks getting warm. He felt shy all of a sudden, like he was caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to do.

“Mhmm,” she said with a knowing smile, like she could already read what was on his mind. “If you’re wondering who that is, that’s my close friend.”

“Oh…”

“You’ll probably see her around here. She comes by to visit often. In fact, the dog you saw earlier was hers. I was looking after him for a while”

“Oh I see…”

“Anyway, you want to eat something? There’s leftover pasta in the fridge.”

Wonwoo was about to refuse, but as if on cue his stomach grumbled. “Okay,” he sighed.

The hallway opened up to a small area with a round breakfast table where he settled down on one of the chairs. To his right was the kitchen where the microwave whirred in the background, and Wonwoo sat facing large glass doors.

The doors gave view to a wide patio— and past that, framed by palm trees, was the beach and ocean. Wonwoo stared down at his lap, avoiding looking at the scenery any longer.

To his terrible luck, his aunt walked over to him with their plates of food in hand and said, “Here come on, we can eat out on the patio. It’s nice outside.” 

Wonwoo slowly got up, watching her slide open the glass doors and step outside. He could hear the rush of the ocean more clearly now, and he gulped.

He didn’t want to go out but what choice did he have? After all, how do you tell your aunt that simply hearing the rush and splash of water, made you feel sick to your stomach?

He reluctantly followed her.

They sat at a small table that was underneath an overhang of the house, which was reinforced by multiple rectangular pillars. Past the pillars, to the left end of the patio, Wonwoo could see a bright blue pool. And at the other end was a small square hot-tub that was a little over a meter tall and currently remained covered. Large trees grew on either side of the area, blocking the views of the neighbouring houses. There was also a few stairs at the corner of the patio that went down and disappeared from view. They probably led to the beach ahead of them.

“Well dig in,” his aunt said, sliding his plate of food over to him.

“Thank you um… do you want me to call you auntie?” Wonwoo hesitantly asked.

His aunt shot him a look and grimaced. “Gross no, that makes me feel like a hag. Just call me Bora.”

“Okay.”

Wonwoo tried to tune out the sound of the ocean as they ate in silence. When they were done, his aunt leaned back in her chair and pulled out a cigarette and lighter from her pocket.

He tried not to show the judgement on his face as she lit it up, but clearly he failed because she gave him a questioning raise of her brows, as if inviting him to challenge her.

“You’re a swimmer,” Wonwoo quietly said, “Shouldn’t you not be doing that?” 

“What, _this_?”

She tapped her cigarette in indication, and Wonwoo watched the way the end burned red and crumbled down into ash.

“Yeah…”

“I _was_ a swimmer. I’m retired now, got all the medals I could, and made my grand exit.”

“Still,” Wonwoo frowned.

Bora propped her elbow up on the table, cigarette resting between her forefinger and middle finger.

“Right right, forgot how repulsed you children are by these things,” she said breezily. “Anyway, it’s not as if I smoke often. Only when I’m stressed.”

“You’re stressed right now?” he asked.

“Yes. Because my sister suddenly dumped her kid at my house for 3 months.”

Wonwoo shrank in his seat. No matter where he went he really was a burden.

Maybe Bora noticed his discomfort, because her eyes and voice suddenly softened. “Well it’s not that big of a deal,” she shrugged. “It’ll just be different I guess. I’m not used to sharing my house with someone for 3 whole months like this.” Her voice was quiet, and a little lost in thought as she spoke. “Last time I had to do something similar to that was well… probably my ex-husband, years ago…” 

“O-oh um, I see…”

“All I’m saying is, let’s not bug each other okay?” Bora turned to him brightly.

Wonwoo nodded rapidly. The last thing he wanted to do was get in anyone’s way.

They sat in silence for a while, and he mainly focused on the patterned glass that made up the patio table, while his aunt stared out at the ocean.

After a while she said, “There’ll be a storm tomorrow.”

“Will it be okay?”

“Yeah it should be,” Bora said. “Just warning you because tropical storms can be a bit of a bitch. There’s alarm systems they sound along the beach when a storm is approaching, because the sea rises. So don’t get startled by those.”

“O-okay…”

Wonwoo sighed. He already hated the water enough, and now he had to sit through a tropical storm? Great.

Like Bora had warned him, the next afternoon, he could hear the public sound system that ran along the beaches.

To his terrible luck, Bora was gone for some appointment she said she had. She explained to him that she couldn’t cancel this one, but it was before the storm was predicted to start so it shouldn’t be a problem.

Well boy was the forecast wrong or what?

The storm was said to start around evening, but it was only late afternoon when the rain started pelting down. Wonwoo was beginning to panic.

The panic subsided a little bit however after he got a phone call from his aunt, reassuring him. She said it was unsafe for her to drive back at this time, so he’d be alone for now, but he would be okay. She gave him specific instructions of what to do before the storm really hit.

It was only half and hour later as he was settling into the living room couch with a sigh when Wonwoo realized with a jolt, that _dammit_ , he forgot to look if the tarps that covered Bora’s motorboat were tied down properly like she’d asked him to check.

Wonwoo got up and gingerly made his way towards the back door of the house.

He could just leave it be... he honestly really _wanted_ to leave it be. But no. He’d only been here for like what, a day and a half? He didn’t want to mess things up already and get Bora angry. She said she didn’t want them to bother or make trouble for each other.

He gulped as he took the handle of the glass doors with shaky hands and very slowly slid it open.

All at once harsh slanted rain pelted against his skin and the howls of the winds amplified to maximum volume. Thunder rumbled angrily through the sky making every hair on his skin rise. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and stepped out into the raging storm.

“Do it quickly, do it quickly,” he muttered to himself as he hurriedly made his way down to the beach from the patio steps. He lifted his arm to hood his eyes from the rain as he fought against the winds, moving closer towards the gray ocean that looked like it could swallow him whole. The crash of tides and colossal waves thrashed violently before him. He wanted to throw up at the mere sight of the ocean, and his chest squeezed impossibly tight. Wonwoo turned away, trying to avoid focusing on the water. 

The tarps, as Bora suspected, were not tied down. They were flapping around, threatening to fly off. His heart pounded against his skull as he took some ropes from the nearby shed, and knelt down in front of the boat to tie down the tarps. His shirt billowed in the whirlwind as his fingers shakily worked to fix the knots.

He could hardly see straight anymore when he stood up again, his circular glasses were flecked entirely with water droplets. The rain fell even harder as if that was possible, and lightening now came and went with intensity.

He squeezed his eyes shut, frantically wiping at his glasses with the back of his wrists.

Slowly, he pried his eyes open, and all at once lightening flashed, illuminating the sand beneath his feet in harsh white light.

It was in that split second moment that he saw _him_.

Wonwoo’s heart threatened to jump out of his throat.

There, only a couple meters away from him, was a person. A boy that looked no older than himself. The tides clawed mercilessly at the boy’s feet as he lay lifeless and limp against the wet sand.

Wonwoo stood like a frozen statue for a few seconds before his brain went on autopilot and he started running towards the boy.

Yes sure, he could be running in the other direction— in fact that’s probably what he _should_ do. He was in the middle of a raging storm after all. But what kind of a human would that make him for leaving a clearly unconscious person out on the beach in weather like this?

Wonwoo was now only a meter away from the boy when his steps came to an abrupt halt.

_Wait._

What if the boy was... dead?

Approaching the scene more cautiously now, he gulped. The rain pelted his skin like icy seeds and thunder rumbled through the sky.

He felt almost like he was caught in a hazy dream as he crouched down in front of the body.

The boy had deep tan skin, and despite the fact that his face was lined with scratches and a few cuts, he was undeniably handsome. A sharp jawline lined with beads of water carved out his intense features, and his attractively sloped nose and full lips stood out the most. Wonwoo’s eyes trailed across the boy, noting that he was quite muscular— _oh_ and he wasn’t wearing any pants either (or underwear for that matter).

And maybe Wonwoo would’ve been blushing, if it weren’t for the fact that the boy was bleeding.

The pounding against his skull amplified as the large gash on his arm bled a deep red, stark against the angry grey light of the raging storm and the boy’s deep tan skin. Wonwoo’s hands trembled and his mind ran a mile a minute as he tried to figure out what the fuck he should do.

What were you supposed to do when someone was unconscious and badly wounded?

 _Check his pulse you moron_ , the voice in his head hissed at him.

Wonwoo shook his head trying to clear his mind. He was panicking right now and it wasn’t doing any good— especially considering the fact that he’d completed first aid training and was kind of certified to handle situations like these.

Relieved to find that the boy was still breathing, Wonwoo sat upright and looked around for any sign of another person who could possibly get help. He even tried yelling out for someone.

Why the hell would anyone be out here in this kind of storm other than him (and this unconscious boy for whatever reason), who the fuck knew? But he still checked despite knowing there would be no one around. He really needed to call the ambulance since this cut looked pretty bad, and he needed to stop the bleeding _fast_.

Wonwoo quickly devised a plan in his head. The next stormy tide would probably rush in soon and it was dangerous to stay here. He had to move this boy, and get a phone to call for help— meaning they had to go inside. Although he wasn’t trained whatsoever for this, he could try to do any possible first aid treatment after that.

Being extra careful not to move around the injured area, he put his arms underneath the boy’s back and hoisted him up. Immediately he was overwhelmed by the boy’s weight and size. He was definitely heavier than Wonwoo.

Doing his best to ignore the fact that _yes,_ this dude was not wearing any clothes and Wonwoo could feel the bare skin of his toned muscular back and arms against him, he squeezed his eyes shut and began dragging his feet across the sand, slowly and carefully making his way back up the house.

He imagined how he looked right now and shuddered. If anyone saw him in this moment, they’d probably think he was a psycho.

Bringing the injured guy up the steps leading up to the patio and past the pool and hot tub, had him panting heavily. Normally doing this wouldn’t be so hard, and it’s not as if he was out of shape or anything— in fact he had excellent upper body strength, far above average. But the wind was making it seriously hard to move. And with this weight on his back? It felt near impossible.

Wonwoo shoved the glass doors open with his shoulder, not bothering to close it behind him and stumbled inside the house. He quickly felt around for the light switch. It was only afternoon, but it was so dark and stormy right now, that he wouldn’t mind more light.

“Fuck.” Wonwoo exhaled heavily. The power was out.

He set down injured handsome boy on the living room sofa before running to the landline phone only to find it dead. It was probably because of the storm too. Only a couple seconds later he found that his cellphone had no battery either.

“Dammit.” He let out a frustrated noise. “Ok calm down Wonwoo, calm down,” he whispered to himself pacing back and forth.

He couldn’t just randomly leave the injured guy alone so he could go over to the next-door neighbour and ask to use their phone. That meant he could pretty much forget about calling for help for now. He just had to try and treat the wound himself as best as he could and then wait for the power to come back on to use his phone again.

He rushed to the kitchen and took out the first aid kit and any other medical supplies he might need.

He covered the boy with a towel and began disinfecting and cleaning the wound. Thankfully there was no debris, or anything stuck inside, and the gash oddly didn’t look as deep now as he’d thought it was initially. The bleeding seemed to be slowing down as well.

Every minute he’d keep checking to make sure the boy’s chest was rising and falling, as it should, which to his relief it was.

It was only after he’d finished bandaging the wound that the lights that he’d tried to turn on before, flickered on, and Wonwoo’s shoulder’s deflated with relief and exhaustion. He took one last look at the stranger on the couch before running to his room to grab his phone charger.

When he got back with his charger in hand however, he was frozen still in his steps.

The sofa where the injured bandaged boy had been laying only a minute ago, was completely unoccupied.

Cushions were propped against the armrest, which confirmed that someone had indeed been there, meaning Wonwoo wasn’t going absolutely crazy. The towel that he’d used to cover the stranger lay rumpled on the carpeted floor, and the first aid kit box was out and open on the coffee table.

It was as though a ghost had entered the room, used these things, and then simply vanished.

His hands trembled, the cog in the wheels of his brain spinning, trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

Wonwoo spun around the room trying to find the boy. He couldn’t have gotten far. He was here somewhere... right?

_Splish. Splash._

Wonwoo whirled around to face the backdoor, ears perked up and eyes wide. Was that... _splashing_ he was hearing?

It certainly didn’t sound like the ocean or rain.

He ran to the door, swinging it wide open. The sound of splashing rang clear and definite now, and it was coming straight from the hot tub— which made _zero_ sense since the tub definitely had its cover on last time he checked. Did it get pulled off during the storm?

His heart palpitations only increased as he made his way towards the sound, both fear and curiosity spiking when he could see a glowing light coming from the opened… hot tub?

God, was he just imagining this? It didn’t help that he didn’t have his glasses on right now and was blind as a bat without them.

And then it happened.

A giant glowing tail of a fish rose up and came down with a crash, slapping against the water, all the while Wonwoo slapped his hands over his mouth to stop himself from screaming.

_What the actual fuck?_

In the tiniest baby steps, Wonwoo inched himself closer to the hot tub when all at once a person erupted up the water with a splash.

He froze in horror. It was injured-handsome boy.

The boy perched himself at the ledge of the tub, and Wonwoo’s eyes trailed down his body.

This time Wonwoo really did let out a scream, stumbling backwards from the tub.

There, where the boy’s legs should’ve been, was a giant shimmering tail. The scales seemed to be a pale translucent white, but as the tail swished from side to side in the water, it shimmered in flashes of colours of the rainbow. It was letting off a dim glow, setting the water alight and looking almost like the lights in the hot tub were turned on.

The sight was sort of mesmerizing— but kind of horrific too considering... well there was a tail attached to what looked like a human body.

“W-Wha... that thing, tha—” he pointed at the tail, eyes wide and heart threatening to burst out of his chest.

Maybe Wonwoo really was dreaming. Or maybe this was just a hallucination.

“What, never seen a fish tail?”

Wonwoo lifted his eyes to the guy’s face now, who wore an amused and smug grin. His lips curved up on one side, revealing a pointy canine tooth. The boy-fish-thing let out a low chuckle.

“I’m j-just having a really fucking crazy dream right now,” Wonwoo stammered out, his voice embarrassingly high pitched. “Or maybe it’s drugs. Not sure how my food got drugged but I’m just,” he pointed behind him, slowly walking backwards from the tub, “gonna go to bed and hope I wake up fine okay?” 

With a swift swish of his tail the creature swooped across the hot tub towards the side Wonwoo was standing on, much closer in proximity now. He propped his elbows up against the ledge, resting his chin on his palm and grinned.

“You’re not dreaming. Or on drugs.”

“I think you’re mistaken,” Wonwoo said, voice wobbly. “Because currently I’m talking to a fish man.”

“ _Merman_ , but close enough,” the stranger snickered. “And you’re really not hallucinating I promise. The name’s Kim Mingyu.” And there it was again, the same lopsided smirk directed at him, and Wonwoo tried to ignore the fact that his heart just skipped a fucking beat.

 _Now is not the time to feel weird things toward flirty fish man Wonwoo,_ the voice in his head snapped at him.

“Ok well _Kim_ _Mingyu,_ get out of my hot tub and go back to the ocean w-where you came from ok?” Wonwoo inwardly cursed at himself for sounding so damn nervous. “And then I can take a nap and pretend this never happened.”

With that he spun on his heel to go inside, hoping and praying Mingyu would just disappear.

Wonwoo already had too many things to think about, too many issues he needed to try and solve… this summer vacation was going to be dreadful as it was— he didn’t need _this_ kind of eccentricity added to the mess.

“Hey nooo, come back, you’re cute. What’s your name?” Mingyu whined as he began to walk away.

Wonwoo had only taken a couple steps when Mingyu said, “Stop.”

His voice was much deeper this time, and there was this hint of _something_ in it— something commanding, and almost persuasive. It set his chest aflame and burned to the back of his neck. He could feel Mingyu’s eyes behind him. He immediately stopped.

“What’s your name?” Mingyu now asked.

Wonwoo didn’t understand his own reaction at these words, but if the goosebumps erupting on his arms said anything, it was that he _wanted_ to answer. The same way he wanted to stop.

So he blurted out, “My name is Wonwoo, Jeon Wonwoo,”

“Wonwoo... that’s a nice name,” Mingyu said with a lilt in his voice, and it confused Wonwoo. It was honestly just a normal name. “Can you turn around?”

Wonwoo did exactly that.

“Are you really not gonna believe me that I’m real?” Mingyu asked now that they were facing one another. He had a pout as he rested his chin against his folded arms.

There was a short pause and the corners of Wonwoo’s lips twisted into a frown. “What was that thing you did?”

“Hmm?” Mingyu tilted his head, feigning innocence— but Wonwoo couldn’t miss the flash of a smile in his gaze. “Do what?”

He narrowed his eyes. No matter how attractive Mingyu may be, Wonwoo knew himself. And he knew he definitely wouldn’t have stopped or turned around— at least not with a measly command like that. He had no good reason to listen to Mingyu, so why did he...?

“That thing back there. When you told me to stop,” Wonwoo said.

“I’m not really following here,” Mingyu blinked, a coy smile playing across his lips.

“Don’t play around,” Wonwoo hissed, losing his patience. “You _know_ what I’m talking about.”

Mingyu pouted, looking down now. “Sorry, I just didn’t want you to leave.”

“Ok _fine_. I won’t leave, happy?”

Mingyu cheered at that, and he kind of looked less like a handsome model, and more like a youthful kid now. It was kind of endearing actually.

Wonwoo rubbed the bridge of his nose with a sigh. “Okay, now answer my question.”

“Oh that? It’s called a merperson's Siren. All of can do it. It makes us sound really convincing when we want to,” Mingyu said with a shrug as if he were talking about something simple as what he ate for breakfast.

Wonwoo gawked. No seriously what the actual hell? Oh why couldn’t he just wake up from all this madness?

“And you used it on me?” he snapped accusingly.

Mingyu let out a low chuckle. “I take it you don’t like that?”

“What the hell do you think?!” Wonwoo shot a glare at him. “Don’t do it again.”

“Okay okay. It’s not as if it was for something big,” Mingyu laughed lightly. “You know you’re lucky you met a merman and not a mermaid.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Mermaids are... _terrifying_ ,” Mingyu shivered as though the mere thought of them sent chills down his spine. “Their Siren is far more powerful than a merman’s. Mine is especially weak,” he shrugged. “But a mermaid? Better run for your life.”

Wonwoo gulped. Mingyu was kind of scaring him. But still, he was rather curious and couldn’t help but nervously ask, “S-so those old legends and myths about mermaids luring sailors and killing them and stuff are _true_?”

“Yep.” Mingyu said, popping the p matter of factly. “I mean if you glared at me and I was a mermaid...” Mingyu chuckled rising out of the water now, tail coming out. “I probably would’ve bitten your head off.”

Wonwoo could hardly believe his eyes. The fish tail, as soon as it grazed the land, transformed. It was so fast you could easily miss it with the simple blink of an eye. Now, where Mingyu’s tail had been previously, was his feet again. He looked like a normal human.

Of course he was standing on the patio completely naked, which wasn’t _too_ normal— but _besides_ that. Good thing the healthy layer of greenery on either side of the house blocked any view neighbours might have.

“Don’t get too comfortable though,” Mingyu said, voice getting lower as he slowly walked up to him. When he was no more than a foot away, Wonwoo realized he had to tilt his head up slightly for their eyes to meet since Mingyu seemed a good three or four inches taller than him.

All at once, Mingyu leaned in until their faces were only a breath apart, and he couldn’t help but freeze at the proximity. Mingyu smelled of the ocean, like sea salt.... but there was something aromatic and sweet in his scent too that Wonwoo couldn’t identify— maybe a flower or fruit.

“If you anger mermen...” Mingyu continued saying, a dangerous glint taking shape in his eyes, “let’s just say your end won’t be quick like with the mermaids. They could capture you, enslave you, and then...” Mingyu brought his fingers to lightly hold Wonwoo’s chin and grinned, pointed canine teeth visible and all, “stab you straight through with their spears.”

Wonwoo was starkly aware by now that he was trembling. And the fear must’ve been evident in his eyes because Mingyu pressed his lips together and the corner of his mouth twitched slightly.

Before Wonwoo could read the expression on his face, he released the hold on his chin and leaned back.

There was a tiny beat of silence between them, when all at once Mingyu erupted into laughter.

“I’m just playing,” he wheezed out between laughs, shaking his head with a toothy smile once again. “Oh jesus you looked terrified.”

Wonwoo’s heart pounded against his chest, fear transforming quickly into anger at this kid’s antics. 

“No but really,” Mingyu’s voice snapped to a more serious tone. “There are some pretty unkind mermen you’d probably never want to come across. I’m not one of them though,” he said with a shrug.

“Yeah no. You’re worse,” Wonwoo muttered. “Go home.” 

“I’m sorry,” Mingyu pouted apologetically. “Forgive me please? I won’t scare you like that again.”

Wonwoo shook his head with a huff, refusing to so easily accept the puppy dog eyes this guy was giving him.

He trailed his gaze down to Mingyu’s legs wondering if they were like normal human legs. Did they _feel_ normal? Well ok, it’s not as if Wonwoo was going to go and suddenly touch Mingyu’s legs, because how awkward would that be? Still, the question lingered in his mind.

When he glanced back up, Mingyu was smirking at him.

“What’re you looking at?” he snickered.

Wonwoo’s eyes widened, his cheeks automatically growing hot. He hated why he knew the reason for Mingyu’s smirk, and felt anger, embarrassment, and an odd amount of shame rushing through him all at once. And then he realized _wait_ : why was he so embarrassed anyway? He wasn’t doing anything wrong.

“I swear to god,” Wonwoo huffed with a glare. “I could smack that stupid little smile off your face right now, I—”

“You’re cute when you get angry,” Mingyu interrupted him and giggled.

“Don’t call me—”

At that moment, a woman’s voice from behind called out, “Wonwoo.”

He froze.

Oh god no.

_Not now... not now._

He squeezed his eyes shut muttering silent prayers alongside curses, before slowly turning around to come face to face with his aunt. She stood at the entrance of the back doors, and was wearing an oddly neutral expression. Though for some reason the corners of her pursed lips twitched intensely.

“I drove back as soon as it seemed safe enough to,” she said dryly.

“Bora, I um… I can explain,” Wonwoo stuttered. “It’s... it’s not what it looks like I swear.”

What did _this_ even look like? He had no clue.

He glanced back at Mingyu with a helpless look.

“T-this guy just,” he said, gesturing at Mingyu frantically, “out of nowhere! O-on, on the beach, and I—”

“Save your breath,” Bora laughed. “I’ve been standing here long enough.”

Wonwoo’s eyes widened in horror, “L-long enough to see...?”

Bora grinned even wider before tilting her head to the sky. “Looks like it’s going to rain harder again. You should come inside unless you want to catch a cold,” she sing-songed before turning on her heel and heading inside.

Wonwoo stood there dumbfounded, and only now realizing how the rain had thinned away and was just spitting currently.

“She seems nice,” Mingyu spoke up.

“Yeah, I mean… I guess…” Wonwoo murmured absentmindedly.

He was just so perplexed. Maybe he was misunderstanding what she saw. She couldn’t have seen Mingyu’s fish tail and everything… could she have? How could his aunt see _that_ , and have no reaction to it? It made no sense.

“She left it open for you,” Mingyu pointed at the glass door that was open just a crack. 

Wonwoo sighed and began heading back inside.

After moving a couple steps forward, he stopped, aware that Mingyu wasn’t following him. Wonwoo couldn’t help but let another sigh escape his lips. Waddling back around he frowned at Mingyu who returned the look with a gentle smile, and it caught him off guard to say the least. So far he’d only really received flirty or cocky sharp grins.

Wonwoo dropped his gaze to the white patio stones beneath his bare feet, trying to conceal whatever uncomfortable thing he felt when Mingyu smiled at him like that.

“You...” He cleared his throat. “You can come in too.”

He was only inviting Mingyu along, because this was his aunt’s house and she gave him permission to come inside. That was _all_. Nothing more.

Mingyu’s smile grew wider.

When they got inside, his aunt came around and dropped a fuzzy black bathrobe into Mingyu’s hand. “You can wear this, it’s been washed recently.”

“Thank you ma’am,” Mingyu bowed politely before throwing on the bathrobe and tying it.

Wonwoo really couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that this fish guy was so calm and comfortable, _naked_ like that. And in front of his aunt too? What the hell. 

She gestured for them to sit, and Mingyu plopped down on one end of the large couch in the living room, while he sat on the other end. Meanwhile Bora just stared at them from across the coffee table, relaxed in an armchair.

“So what was your name again?” she asked. “I didn’t quite catch it.”

“Uh, Kim Mingyu.”

“Oh Korean then,” she murmured. “Okay, so Mingyu tell me who are you exactly. Or what.”

Wonwoo’s eyes widened at the straightforwardness and bluntness of the statement. Bora didn’t come to play. Her eyes were fully serious now, and Wonwoo felt like he was witnessing a new side to her.

Mingyu chuckled nervously. All the confidence and bravado he had with Wonwoo seemed to have vanished.

The corners of Wonwoo’s lips kept twitching, threatening to break down the neutral expression he was schooling. Seeing Mingyu nervous like this was quite amusing after all.

“W-well, I’m what you probably call a merman. You know, half fish, half man.” Mingyu seemed to force his best shaky smile.

Wonwoo could imagine how nerve-wracking and intimidating this was getting for the guy— especially when Bora, who’d been previously all grins and smiles, suddenly seemed so serious.

“So to confirm… you’re not from here?”

“Like here, as in the land? Yeah n-no... I live in the sea.”

“Then what about right now?” Bora raised her eyebrows questioningly. “Why are you here now? Just adventuring? A little trip?”

Mingyu paused, as if he wasn’t sure how to respond. It was as though Wonwoo could see a debate playing out in his head for whatever unknown reason. This was the part Wonwoo was most curious about though. Why was Mingyu here, and why did he show up on shore injured like that?

“No. I...” Mingyu took a deep breath, “I ran away from home. And I was caught in the storm so I got injured and ended up on the beach behind your house. Wonwoo brought me inside and bandaged me,” he said, gesturing to the gauze on his arm.

Wonwoo peered closer and examined the bandage. It was damp from the water and the blood had soaked through the gauze so he wondered if he should replace it.

“You’re feeling better now though?”

“Yes,” Mingyu’s eyes grew slightly wider and he nodded his head. Maybe he was surprised by the fact that Bora asked _that,_ instead of asking why he ran away from home. “I heal much faster than land people. Especially when I go in the water. In fact it’s probably fine to take this off now,” he said, pointing to the bandage.

“What?” Wonwoo blurted out for the first time in the conversation. He was alarmed after all— Mingyu definitely couldn’t take the bandage off. It had only been what... an _hour_?

“Trust me,” Mingyu nodded his head, unwrapping the gauze and Wonwoo stared in fascination. The wound had healed significantly, in a way that shouldn’t be possible at this rate.

“See? It’s fine.”

“Y-yeah...” Wonwoo’s voice trailed off in awe. So that’s why the bleeding must’ve been already slowing down when he started treating the wound. And it helped that Mingyu had gone in the hot tub for a while too.

At that moment, Mingyu’s stomach rumbled loudly and he glanced up like a deer caught in headlights, before sheepishly looking down at his lap.

He was much cuter like this, all embarrassed and shy, Wonwoo surmised. He was suddenly curious how old Mingyu was exactly.

Before he could ask however, Bora was back to smiles now. “You hungry?” she asked.

Mingyu glanced up and nodded his head rapidly.

“Wonwoo, I want to talk a little more with Mingyu about everything. So can you go get him… uh... what do you eat exactly Mingyu?” 

“Mainly seafood I guess?” Mingyu shrugged. “Seaweed, clams, squid, fish... a lot of fish. They’re pretty yummy when they’re steamed on hydrothermal vents. Though I’m pretty sure I can eat anything you land people eat.”

Wonwoo simply stared in silence at the merman for a couple seconds before he spoke in a flat tone, “You’re telling me you _eat_ your fish friends?”

“Well they’re not exactly like frien—”

“Ariel would _never_ ,” Wonwoo huffed.

Mingyu tilted his head questioningly. “Ariel?”

Despite the initial surprise that Mingyu had no clue what _The Little Mermaid_ was, after some thought, it only made sense to him. Like fucking hell they had computers and TVs down in the sea.

Before Wonwoo could explain who Ariel was exactly, Bora cut him off. “There’s tuna in the fridge Wonwoo,” she said, which of course was cue for him to stand up. “Just get him that.”

“Cannibalism,” he muttered as he walked toward the kitchen with Mingyu calling out behind him, “Hey it’s not cannibalism!”

He could practically hear the scowl in Mingyu’s voice and a part of him couldn’t help but let out a snicker.

Wonwoo entered the kitchen and swung open the fridge door, searching for the tuna. It took him a while find, but he eventually located it as it was hidden away in the very back. With a huff, and an opened tuna can, he spun back out of the kitchen.

When Wonwoo returned to the living room however, Mingyu seemed to be pretty preoccupied with something. He was shaking a black satchel, and getting sand all over the coffee table.

“What’re you... doing?” Wonwoo squinted.

Mingyu glanced up at him and said, “Getting sand out of my bag.”

“That’s your bag?”

“Yeah, you left it out there during the storm when you brought me in.”

Wonwoo honestly had no recollection of there being a bag beside Mingyu when he went down to the beach. But then again he was kind of (very much so) panicking and losing his shit seeing a naked guy bleeding and unconscious in the middle of a raging storm, so he’d say his reaction was pretty justified.

“It got a little buried in the sand being left out there in the storm,” Mingyu continued as he kept shaking the sand onto the table. Wonwoo internally scowled knowing they’d have to vacuum later. Bora simply sat across Mingyu calmly, making no comments.

When Mingyu finally opened the bag, Wonwoo asked, “Is the stuff inside ruined?”

“Nope,” came the response. “The bag has a special seal on it. It won’t get the stuff inside wet unless it’s totally torn apart to shreds or something. I had to do that because this has important land people stuff in it.”

Wonwoo set down the tuna to sit down beside Mingyu and watch him pour out the contents and let’s just say Wonwoo nearly choked.

Inside there were stacks and stacks of bills in the thousands.

“M-Mingyu,” he stammered.

“It took me months to gather all this,” Mingyu sighed. “Do you know how fucking hard it is to find someone to transfer Oros to dollars? Thankfully the ID cards were easier to get.”

Wonwoo knew he was gaping but he couldn’t stop. This whole time he had thought Mingyu running away was just a farce— some silly little adventure he wanted to go on for some fun. But now he understood that this was a very deliberate and precedent decision of his, and he must be really serious about running away, for whatever reason.

“Are you sure you didn’t rob a bank for this?” Wonwoo asked in disbelief.

“What?! Of course not!” Mingyu frowned. “I worked really hard for all this money.”

When there was a pause between them, Mingyu added, “And it’s not my parents’ either.”

“Oh... ok then...” He was curious, but didn’t want to ask how Mingyu got all this. There was no reason to try and get to know this guy more than necessary. If anything, he was just waiting for Mingyu to be shown out.

Wonwoo turned to his aunt and with intense concentration, tried to telepathically send the message that it was time to say goodbye to Mingyu. When Bora met his eyes and simply blinked back, the message seemed to have been conveyed and Wonwoo deflated in relief.

It’s not that he hated Mingyu or anything— he barely knew him after all. But something about him just made Wonwoo intensely uncomfortable. Within only an hour of meeting the guy, whenever they so much as met eyes, his stomach would churn nervously. He really didn’t need that in his life and now that Mingyu was done his tuna, he couldn’t wait for the guy to leave.

Bora finally turned to face Mingyu and parted her lips to speak.

 _Adios Mingyu,_ Wonwoo thought triumphantly.

“Mingyu, would you like to stay here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 〖 [Playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGznznTU_TOUmCpOhC_BA8u8ahZVfA1K2) 〗
> 
> Hiii it's me again :) This is what I've been working on after I finished my previous fic (of soulmates and stars)  
> I've written a pretty big chunk of this one already— so hopefully I can follow a decent update schedule, instead of leaving ppl hanging for weeks lol
> 
> Also please let me know your thoughts on the first chapter! i honestly dont know how well this kind of storyline will do, and how this fic will be perceived so.... i just hope ppl like it ><
> 
> Anyway buckle in, cause this is going to be quite a ride lol


	2. Undertow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mingyu is truly a strange kid. And also, he can't seem to stop getting on Wonwoo's nerves.

“Mingyu, would you like to stay here?” Bora easily asked.

Mingyu snapped his head up almost as fast as Wonwoo nearly choked.

Shit no... this couldn’t be happening. Was his aunt out of her _mind_?

Mingyu’s wide eyes transformed from stunned to pure elation. “R-really?” he sputtered out. “You would be okay with that? If I... if I stayed here?

“Yes of course. It doesn’t seem like you have any other place to go, and you’re definitely not too familiar with how things work up here, are you?”

Mingyu flushed. His eyes dropped to the ground like he was embarrassed by all this generosity suddenly thrown at him. In fact, Wonwoo was pretty shocked too. His aunt was suddenly offering a... _creature_ Wonwoo had known to be mythical for almost all his life, residence... _here_?

How did she know Mingyu wasn’t dangerous? How could she trust Mingyu without knowing much of anything about him?

This had to be a joke.

Yet as the seconds dragged on, no punch line ever came.

“Yeah... you’re right about that.” Mingyu finally answered. “I’ll pay the rent and everything.”

Bora smiled and gave a quick nod of her head before calmly standing up. “I’m going to get a drink of water. Do you want some?”

“Yes that would be good, thank you,” Mingyu said with rapid and intent nodding, returning back to eating his canned tuna.

Wonwoo took this moment to shoot up from his seat, and trail his aunt. When he was out of hearing range, he quietly hissed to her, “Bora, you can’t let him live here!”

Bora continued to stroll into the kitchen as Wonwoo followed her.

“My house, my rules,” she said breezily. 

Now Wonwoo had never been a needy child, but he had to get his message across right now that this was a _horrendous_ idea. He couldn’t keep out the whiny pitch in his voice as he said, “There’s other places he can stay. Bora!”

“Yes there are,” she nodded as she poured water into two tall glasses. “But those other places are harder for him to figure out.”

“I don’t get it!” Wonwoo whined. “Why are you suddenly being so nice to a random mythical creature.”

“As far as I can tell, that person out there is as real as you and me,” Bora curtly replied. “Now be nice.”

“I can’t believe this right now,” Wonwoo scowled, as he poured himself a glass of water as well.

Bora just raised her eyebrows at him. “I don’t know why you’re so against him. You just met him.”

“Yeah, but he’s annoying!” Wonwoo’s scowl deepened. “I can already tell. Probably a rich spoiled brat. And he’s going to be a total pain to look after.”

“You know that’s an awfully harsh judgement for someone you barely know,” Bora said slowly, as she scanned him. “Sounds almost like there’s _another_ reason that you don’t want him here Wonwoo.”

His neck rapidly burned up, and he could hear the thumps of his heart getting louder in his chest. Bora was staring at him, her dark eyes piercing, like she could see straight through every little thing he was concealing.

“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about!” he stammered. “I’m just saying, he shows up with all that money. How could a kid like that get that much money? And he clearly knows nothing about how regular people live, s-so it’s gonna be hard to have him around.”

“Well… I was hoping you’d take care of that. Show him around, explain things to him, all that stuff.”

“So you want me to babysit him?” Wonwoo asked flatly.

She giggled. “If you want to call it that.”

Wonwoo groaned. “What the hell, why would you do this to me? And why do you even care about this kid. He said he was on the run! And you know what else he told me? That some mermen and mermaids were really dangerous. What if it’s…” Wonwoo lowered his voice to a whisper, “ _unsafe_ to let him stay here?”

Bora stared at him for a little while longer this time. Her eyes were contemplative like she was seriously considering his argument now. But then she just broke into a grin.

“Nahhh,” she laughed. “I doubt anything will happen. Besides we got knives, we got shovels and axes. We’ll defend ourselves.”

Wonwoo groaned again. “Okay one, that’s a terrible idea. And two, I just don’t get why you suddenly care about this kid that you barely know!”

Bora’s eyes softened. “Do you want me to be honest with you?”

“Um… yes?” 

“Wonwoo,” she sighed. “It’s not this kid I care about. I mean… I care enough that I hope he has a roof above his head, and a place to stay… but that’s not _really_ why I’m letting him stay here. after all, there are plenty of other places for him.”

“Then why?”

She shook her head and looked at him in the eyes with a weak, barely there smile. “It’s cause of _you_.”

“I…” Wonwoo’s breath caught on seemingly invisible strings. What did him being here, have to do with this merman guy? It made no sense.

As if she could understand the confusion panning across his face, his aunt sighed softly. “Your mother told me some things.”

All at once, Wonwoo’s heart burst in speed. It slammed against his ribcage with force much stronger than before. His head pounded as he stammered, “T-told you what? What did she tell you?”

His insides were churning with fear. His mother wouldn’t have told her about _that_ , would she…? Would she have? And if she told Bora, did she tell all their relatives? Did _everyone_ know that Wonwoo was… that he was…

“About your swimming thing,” Bora blinked at him. Seemingly confused by the sheer panic that was likely visible on his face.

And as soon as the panic came, every bone and muscle in his body drained with relief. His tightened chest deflated, and the only remnants of his fear was his heartbeat, thumping loud in his ears.

“ _Oh_.”

Bora stared at him with increasing suspicion now. “Is something… wrong?”

“N-no!” Wonwoo blurted out. “My swimming thing. Yeah of course my mom told you about that. Of course.” He awkwardly laughed. “That’s why I’m here after all!”

“Yeah… um exactly...” She blinked, giving him a strange look. “Anyway, you understand right? Mingyu might help you. It turns out, he’s the same age as you, and he’s literally from the water. Being around him might help you… I dunno, regain interest in swimming.”

Wonwoo’s brain short circuited for a second at his aunt’s words.

 _‘_ _Regain interest in swimming_ ,’ she said so easily, that he almost wanted to laugh in her face. Yeah sure, he’ll just do that. Easy peasy.

But it wasn’t Bora’s fault that she didn’t understand what Wonwoo was going through.

The truth was, Wonwoo always had a love for the water. Maybe it was just in his blood. After all, his aunt was already training for the Olympics when he was around 7 years old. And over the years, she fulfilled that dream of hers. He still remembered watching her on tv when she won.

Wonwoo was easily the best swimmer in his elementary school, but that was nothing compared to the Olympics. That was practically the whole _world_. He wanted to reach that level.

He took up competitive swimming from a young age, and would easily win every school and city competition. His parents noticed his clear talent, and they got him a coach. In middle school, he went on to win all the junior statewide competitions in his age group. He was told in merely grade 9, that if he improved his times by a bit, he might be qualified for the next Olympics recruitment period, which would be in his last year of high school.

Of course he still planned on going to college, since it was possible to train for the Olympics while still attending one. He wanted to get into one of the top sports colleges, and his coach told him that athletic recruiters would come watch him in his senior year. Wonwoo needed to impress them to get the scholarships he wanted. It would be no problem as long as he kept his grades up, and continued getting the best possible swim times.

Wonwoo was focused and knew exactly what he wanted.

That is until Junior year— when _everything_ fell apart. 

It was a bit like watching dominos. One thing became collateral damage to the next, until everything in his life was knocked over and lying on the ground.

And as quickly as 10 years of competitive swimming had gone by for Wonwoo, they ended within a matter of a single afternoon swim meet. He can remember the day like it was yesterday. He desperately wished he could forget that day, but it was engraved in his mind.

After that day, he quit the swim team despite his school coach’s protests. And he told his parents a big fat lie.

_“I don’t enjoy swimming anymore. That’s why I want to quit.”_

But of course, saying that didn’t end well whatsoever. His father was outraged, and his parents refused to let him quit.

Instead, after many discussions and multiple arguments, his parents decided to make him go spend the summer with his aunt. Wonwoo was told that after his aunt retired from her swimming career, she turned to coaching.

It was mainly his mother’s idea. Wonwoo knew what she was thinking with this. She thought that being around his inspiration growing up, would make him remember what he loved about swimming again. And by the time summer ended, he’d be back in the pool in no time.

But how could he tell her that it wasn’t so simple?

How could he tell her that he literally, _physically_ , couldn’t swim anymore?

Wonwoo sighed heavily.

“Um, excuse me.” A voice broke into his thoughts. He turned around to see Mingyu standing hesitantly at the kitchen entrance.

“Oh Mingyu!” Bora exclaimed as she quickly handed him his glass of water. “I’m so sorry, I started talking with Wonwoo and completely lost track of things.”

“That’s fine,” Mingyu said. “I was actually pretty thirsty, so I decided to come over myself.”

“So you _do_ need to drink water?” Wonwoo couldn’t help but voice. “You don’t just absorb it through your skin or something?”

“I’m pretty sure that when I’m on land,” he paused, glancing down at his feet, “…I function almost exactly the same as you guys.” 

His aunt just smiled knowingly. “Anyway, Wonwoo and I were actually talking about you.”

“O-oh,” Mingyu stuttered slightly, probably taken aback by her straightforwardness. “What about me?”

“Just about how you probably need someone to show you the ropes around here. And that Wonwoo should guide you.”

A look of understanding gradually washed over Mingyu’s features. His lips curved up to that same sly smirk Wonwoo had seen before.

“Oh thank you so much auntie I would really _really_ love that,” he gushed, that stupid little canine tooth of his poking out from the corner of his lips.

“Oh please no, just call me Bora.” His aunt smiled at Mingyu.

“Oh okay, thank you so much Bora. Yeah I really don’t know much about the land at all, I would _definitely_ need Wonwoo’s help,” he drawled out.

Wonwoo’s nostrils flared as he glared, wishing he could burn a hole through Mingyu’s dumb face just by staring.

“Great!” Bora grinned. “It’s settled then. Wonwoo you’re in charge of looking out for Mingyu kay?”

She looked over her shoulders at him pointedly, a clear warning on her face that read _‘be nice’_.

Wonwoo gritted his lips, and he was pretty sure his left eye was twitching as he said, “Okay.”

After they walked back to the living room, his aunt said, “I should show you to your room now!”

“Cool,” Mingyu grinned, grabbing his bag.

“Oh Mingyu,” his aunt frowned. “Is that the only thing you brought with you? That bag?”

“Um yeah?”

“What about clothes?”

“Oh I heard you could buy some up here! So I only brought one pair of clothes with me,” Mingyu explained.

“Ahh I see,” Bora said. “Well don’t worry about it. Wonwoo can take you shopping tomorrow.”

Wonwoo opened his mouth to protest immediately, but his aunt turned to him with a cheery smile that had threatening undertones, “Won’t you Wonwoo?” 

He sighed. “Yeah,” he grumbled.

“Good.” She smiled, satisfied. “You two can take the bus. I don’t trust you with my car.”

Mingyu’s eyes gleamed in excitement and he looked seconds from jumping up and down with joy. “The bus the bus,” he whispered fervently as they followed Bora upstairs to their rooms.

“You even know what that is?” Wonwoo hissed.

“I’ve read it in land-people books!” Mingyu whispered back. “It’s so cool!!”

“Yeah yeah, public transit, isn’t that a dream come fucking true,” he muttered sarcastically.

Mingyu smiled in pure contentment, probably daydreaming about what could come tomorrow.

“Well this is your room!” his aunt exclaimed as the three came to a stop. She gestured to the door behind her. “It’s right beside Wonwoo’s. I’ll leave you to relax now.”

“Great! Thank you so much.” Mingyu bowed a full 90 degrees. “I owe you so much.”

“Don’t worry about it kid,” she said, and then went off to her room.

Mingyu turned to look at him with a grin.

Wonwoo gulped. He hated the way Mingyu looked right now, with his pearly white pointed teeth, his cheeks bunched up, and his sparkly doe-like eyes crinkled in happiness.

It was doing really odd things to his stomach and he felt a little like throwing up.

Before Mingyu could say anything to him, Wonwoo spun on his heel and sped into his own room, slamming the door shut behind him.

And he stayed like that— back against the door and heartbeat loud in his ears— for far too long.

“Ready?” Mingyu asked the next day, standing by the front door and dressed up in the only pair of clothes that he’d brought with him.

He was wearing regular faded denim jeans, and a plain black t-shirt that hugged his torso and biceps, as well as a black ball cap.

“Do I look normal?” he asked uncertainly, tugging on his shirt which only made Wonwoo glance at his clearly toned chest.

He averted his eyes.

“Yeah you look normal,” Wonwoo said quietly.

“Oh good,” Mingyu sighed with relief. “When I started gathering the stuff I needed for this well… this _whole thing_ — the merman I bought these off of said this was all he had in my size.”

“Well what you’re wearing is fine. Though for summer, you might’ve preferred shorts.”

“Shorts? Well I know what short means but…” Mingyu tilted his head thoughtfully. Wonwoo parted his lips in exasperation to explain what _shorts_ were but Mingyu held his palm out to stop him. “No no wait, I can remember this. I learned this. I’m pretty sure shorts are like…” Mingyu glanced at him before his eyes lit up. “Oh wait, they’re what you’re wearing! Right?”

He grinned that toothy grin of his as he leaned down to tug on the light, beige coloured shorts Wonwoo currently had on.

“Yes Mingyu,” he answered dryly. “Now let's go.”

Wonwoo pulled out his cell phone as soon as they stepped out of the house, glancing down at google maps to see where the bus stop was.

“This is a _phone_ right?” Mingyu suddenly asked and Wonwoo startled.

He was walking right behind him, leaning down to peer at the device in his hand, and Wonwoo hated how he could feel his chest against his shoulders. Did this guy not know what personal space was?

He tried to ignore their proximity and instead curtly replied, “Yes. You know what it is?”

“Yeah I do…” Mingyu murmured. “Never used one though.”

The thought of Mingyu’s giant, clunky fingers cluelessly tapping against his phone screen filled his mind and he almost smiled. _Almost_.

Maybe later he’d let him use his phone for a little while…

As they waited for the bus, Wonwoo asked him, “Ever rode a bus? Or Car?”

“I know what they are, but no, I haven’t. I rode on dolphins and whales before though.” 

Wonwoo quirked up an eyebrow. “That’s wildly different.”

“I’m aware.”

A bus rolled around the corner and Mingyu tugged his arm excitedly.

“It’s here it’s here!”

“No that one isn’t it. We’re waiting for bus 5. That says bus 8.”

“How do you know exactly?”

Wonwoo pointed at the bus post which had a sign of all the bus numbers that would stop here, and then pointed down at his phone. “My phone tells me.”

Mingyu shuffled closer and leaned in to look at his phone screen. “Ohhhh, there’s a map in your phone?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool!”

Bus 5 eventually rolled around and Wonwoo sighed in relief as Mingyu finally shuffled away from him, and the smell of sea salt and tropical flowers, stopped invading his senses.

They sat side by side, and Mingyu looked outside the whole time, palms pressed against the glass like a little kid going on an exciting theme park or carnival ride— except they were just on a plain old public bus.

He wouldn’t stop making amazed little noises, squealing and coo-ing at whatever mundane thing he saw outside. His body was practically vibrating the whole time.

And of course he would whirl around and shake Wonwoo every time he spotted something he considered ‘very cool’. Like the streetlights that blinked red, green and yellow; and the bicycles that rode in their lane alongside the bus; and the shining glass skyscrapers that towered over them as they turned from the coast, and went deeper into the city.

As the bus continued its course, Wonwoo’s irritation and annoyance with… well, practically everything and everyone, dissipated into nothingness.

On any normal bus ride, he would’ve aimlessly scrolled through his phone, or closed his eyes and plugged his earphones in— but with Mingyu it was somehow different. Wonwoo found that he actually _liked_ watching him.

Mingyu was like a blank slate to this world. Everything was new and exciting to him, and he paid attention to every little detail around them in awe. Watching him, Wonwoo began to miss the times when he was a kid and he had this much fascination with the world.

Mingyu’s excitement didn’t stop on the bus though. When they finally got to the mall, he was even more hyperactive. He wouldn’t stop frantically looking all around him, in complete awe at the selection of fashion.

And while Wonwoo was busy checking the mall map, of course Mingyu was getting up to no good— because seconds later he was being called over.

“Hey Wonwoo, what’re these things for?”

He turned to look in the direction of Mingyu’s voice, only to find him staring at Wonwoo while pointing straight into LaSenza— at the lingerie that hung in the store.

Wonwoo’s face burned as two girls in the store blinked at Mingyu, and then over to him.

“Mingyu!” he hissed, going over and grabbing him by the arm. The girls just giggled as he dragged Mingyu away, all while trying to hide his own face. God he wanted to _die_.

Wonwoo spun around and glared at him when they were a considerable distance away from the store.

“You can’t just do that!”

“Why? What was that store…”

Wonwoo smacked his palm so hard against his forehead, he might as well have left a red handprint against his skin. “How do you not know this?!” he groaned. “Do mermaids not wear anything… you know…” Wonwoo gestured up around his chest, “…to cover up here?!”

Mingyu blinked at him rather blankly. “…No?”

Wonwoo sighed. “Well look, normal land women do! That’s an underwear store okay? So stop acting like a total weirdo!”

Mingyu furrowed his brows. “But like, I still don’t get it. How can that be underwear? It was all strings and lace and I don’t think covers…” his voice trailed off, before everything seemed to click into place.

“ _Ohhhh_ ,” he drawled out in understanding at last. “I get it now!”

Wonwoo was sure he was turning into an even more violent shade of red if that was possible. Mingyu clearly noticed it, because his lips began curling up knowingly, and he didn’t stop there. “That explains everything you know? The pictures in that store, on the walls and—”

Wonwoo couldn’t take this anymore and slapped his hands over Mingyu’s mouth.

He just began giggling against his palms and gently pried his fingers away. “Aw isn’t someone embarrassed,” he teased.

“Of course I’m embarrassed!” Wonwoo glared. “You’re embarrassing!”

With a huff he turned around and began speed-walking off in the direction of decent men’s apparel. They were almost there, when all of a sudden he was yanked into Forever 21.

Before he could ask what they were doing, Mingyu was busy rifling through racks of dresses.

“Woahhh clothing is actually great,” he whispered in awe.

“Mingyu, those are for women.” 

“What?” he scowled, clearly displeased at being told that the sparkly dress he was holding up, wasn’t for him. “But I like it!”

Wonwoo sighed, glancing at all the smalls and extra-smalls in the clothing rack. “Look, even if you wanted to wear dresses, they don’t have the right sizes for you here. You’re too…” he gestured at him in indication, “…bulky.”

Mingyu sulked.

Of course the sulking was short lived, because he was whirling over to another clothing rack only thirteen seconds later. “How about this,” he said eagerly.

It was a rack of crop tops.

“Knock yourself out,” Wonwoo sighed. “At least there’s bigger sizes for this one,” he added with a mutter. 

They ended up walking out of there with a pleased Mingyu, and a crop top that he picked out. He clearly didn’t even care, or _notice_ , the estranged look the cashier had given him when he went to buy the top.

Wonwoo wanted to question the boy’s tastes, but then again, even he could understand how women’s clothing was just a lot more interesting.

And as for Mingyu, he didn’t even know the concept of fashion until _today_. He was never exposed to all the persisting gender norms and standards that came with clothes. He probably would never find anything strange with men wearing heels, or skirts— because society never told him it was strange.

It really gave Wonwoo a lot to think about. After all, it must be nice for Mingyu to be such a blank slate like this, and to not have the weight of these land people stereotypes, and fears of social judgement hanging over him constantly.

Once they arrived at a store with a decent selection of men’s clothing, Wonwoo turned to Mingyu and said, “I know this might not be as interesting as what you were looking at before, but this is what most guys wear around here.” 

Mingyu looked around in curiosity, and started shuffling through the clothing racks.

“If you don’t like anything, we can go to another store.”

“No, this looks good! I like this too!” Mingyu looked over his shoulder with a smile. “Though I wouldn’t mind going to more.”

He ended up rapidly piling clothes in his arms and heading over to the fitting rooms, while Wonwoo tiredly slumped down on one of the cushioned seats in the changing area.

And then ensued Mingyu trying on clothes after clothes, while Wonwoo sat yawning and firing out his one word opinions on each of the outfits.

“Good.”

“Great.”

“Ugly.”

“Just no.”

It’s not as if Wonwoo was all that qualified to talk about fashion and decide what looked good or didn’t— but Mingyu’s fault for making him come here. And it’s not as if Mingyu had to listen to him. In fact, he probably _wouldn’t_.

They went to a few more stores, until they both held a few shopping bags filled with clothes. They were almost out of the mall when Mingyu started incessantly shaking him.

“Wonwoo Wonwoo!!!” he said in that annoying, extra excited, childish Mingyu way of his. Wonwoo ignored him and continued walking. He just wanted to go home.

Clearly Mingyu had different ideas, because he grabbed his free hand and whisked him around.

“Hey!” Wonwoo yelled as he was practically yanked away from the exit. “What the hell do you want?! Let go y—”

He collided straight into Mingyu’s back who came to an abrupt halt in front of him.

“What’s your deal?!” Wonwoo snapped when he gained his bearings again.

Mingyu just looked down at him with an enthralled gaze, fingers pointed at a booth in the mall— the _ice-cream booth_ to be specific.

“T-that’s ice-cream right?” he whispered in fascination.

“Yes.” Wonwoo wanted to laugh and roll his eyes at the same time. “That’s ice-cream.”

“C-can we have some?” Mingyu widened his eyes, seemingly making his biggest and best puppy dog eyes. “Pleeeease?”

Wonwoo sighed. Ice-cream was his weakness.

“Fine.”

Eventually they were sitting outside on one of the benches lining the mall entrances, with cones of vanilla ice-cream in hand.

Mingyu took a tentative lick, before leaning back in surprise. “It’s so cold,” he said, before breaking into a grin. “And sweet!”

“Well what did you expect, it’s literally called _ice_ -cream,” he muttered. 

Mingyu ignored his comment, clearly enjoying himself.

They sat and had their sweet fill until Wonwoo said, “So you know what ice-cream is. But don’t know what… lingerie and bras are?”

“Is that what it’s called?” Mingyu laughed.

“Yeah.”

“I’ve heard of bras, kind of— but you can’t blame me for being confused with what _that_ was.”

“I guess…”

“Anyway, I only know as much about land-people as I was taught in school as a kid. They just taught us things they had up here. Like different foods, vehicles, household items, basic clothing, all that stuff.” Mingyu shrugged, tilting his head up in thought. “But we didn’t learn much beyond that, like about your society or whatever. I think we might’ve in the future… but when I was about 12, it was cut out of the curriculum. More and more merpeople were leaving the sea to live up on land, so they stopped educating us about what’s up here— to save future generations or whatever.”

Wonwoo slowly nodded. With Mingyu’s apparent elementary level knowledge of what was up here, his reactions to everything was beginning to make sense. At least a little bit.

Wonwoo munched on the last bit of his cone, finishing with a satisfying crunch.

Mingyu had already finished, and Wonwoo could feel his eyes on him. His skin prickled underneath his gaze and he turned away.

“Stop staring,” he mumbled.

Mingyu suddenly shifted closer to him, until their thighs were pressed together on the bench. “Hey, you have some…” he said quietly, fingers coming up to curl underneath his chin, and he turned Wonwoo’s head slightly so that they were face to face.

Wonwoo froze the moment Mingyu gently brought his thumb up and brushed over his lower lip. Mingyu was so close, he was _so close_.

The touch against his lips felt like it was searing an imprint of fire onto him. Wonwoo’s entire face burned, and his limbs were limp like they’d lost the ability to move.

“W-whu-what—” he stammered.

“Hmm?” Mingyu tilted his head, still holding his chin.

Wonwoo’s eyes widened, and all at once his arms unfroze.

“What’re you doing?!” he yelled, shoving Mingyu back by the chest. 

The boy just blinked in mild surprise and confusion. He pointed at his own lips. “Well you had some ice-cream there and I just—”

“What’s your problem Mingyu?!” Wonwoo cried out. The rational part of him was well aware he was overreacting— but the part of him whose heart was pounding, and whose face felt like they’d been thrown inside of an oven snapped out, “God just leave me alone!”

He got up, grabbed a few of the shopping bags, and began stomping away.

Mingyu trailed him all the way to the bus stop uttering apologies and asking what he even did wrong. Eventually when he didn’t get any response, he grew quiet.

Wonwoo knew he was acting like a little kid throwing a fit, but for some reason Mingyu made it hard to act rationally and maturely.

They boarded the bus with no more words between them. The bus was now packed, so they had to stand, holding the handles that hung above them, shopping bags knocking against their knees as the bus rolled down the road.

After a good 10 minutes of pure silence, and their stop approaching, Mingyu suddenly spoke.

“Why do you hate me so much?”

A small seed of guilt that seemed to have planted itself in his stomach ever since his outburst at Mingyu at the mall, now grew until it began blossoming. He shouldn’t have overreacted like that.

“I… I don’t hate you,” Wonwoo stammered.

“You act exactly like you do,” Mingyu said, and there was a faintly wilted sound to his normally cheerful voice, which only made Wonwoo feel worse about himself.

Why was he like this? When did he turn into such a jerk? Although Wonwoo was quiet at school, he was quite popular because he was one of the best athletes in his high school, and he was known to be all kind and well-mannered (or at least that’s what he heard from the gossip). How did he become this detestable?

“Or is this just how land-people normally interact with each other?” Mingyu added.

“N-no,” Wonwoo whispered. “I just… I barely even know you. How could I hate you?”

“Well you’re all mean to me,” Mingyu looked at him with a sulky sort of pout.

“Look,” Wonwoo sighed. “Mingyu, y-you’re so, you’re just—”

At that moment, the bus screeched to a halt, and Wonwoo stumbled backwards. He squeezed his eyes shut, bracing for the harsh impact of something, _anything_ — instead all he felt were arms coming around him, and a soft cotton fabric against him.

He opened his eyes, coming face to face with a set of dark almond eyes. Mingyu’s arm was secure around his waist, holding him in place. He was close enough to make out the faint mole against Mingyu’s left cheek and the tips of their noses were nearly touching.

“Y-you’re too close!” Wonwoo blurted out, pushing himself away.

“Oh,” Mingyu said, leaning back. “Sorry.”

The bus continued moving again and another bout of silence swayed between them, until Wonwoo exhaled in defeat. “Look I’m sorry for acting like that towards you. I just... I just have a lot on my mind lately okay? I don’t hate you, I promise.”

Mingyu looked at him in a mix of curiosity and relief for a few seconds, and then glanced away.

“Alright.”

They got off at their spot with Mingyu keeping a distance from him this time, and for some reason it made Wonwoo feel uneasy. Did he suddenly _have_ to walk like a whole meter in front of him? He didn’t have to act like a total stranger did he?

Wonwoo’s thoughts flew out the window as he bumped into Mingyu’s back for the second time today.

He was about to ask why the other stopped, but his question was quickly answered by the sight in front of them. Wonwoo shuffled closer to Mingyu, leaning past him to look at the scene.

Two people were arguing on the sidewalk, blocking the way.

“So what did you think I was gonna do huh?!” One of the guys shouted. He had shoulder length brown hair that was pulled into a loose ponytail, and tears streaming down his face. “Sit here and wait for you the whole time as you left for your fancy college?!”

“Babe please,” the other guy with short tousled black hair stepped closer, trying to take the other’s arm. “Can you just liste—”

“No,” Ponytail guy snapped, immediately pulling away. “Don’t call me that. Just fucking leave me alone alright?”

Black haired guy looked like he was seconds away from crying. Instead he rapidly blinked away the emotions away and put on a blank face.

“Okay. Fine then,” he said flatly.

“What?”

“You’re right, I should just leave you alone. Let’s end things here.”

“W-wait. Stop. You really want to break up?” Ponytail guy’s eyes were wide with more tears bubbling up in them.

“It’s probably for the best anyway,” he shrugged flatly.

“For the _best_? What the fuck, y-you dont even want to _try_ with us? Or fix anything?”

“What’s the point Jeonghan,” black haired guy sighed. 

“ _W-what’s the point_?” this Jeonghan guy repeated between his tears. “Did all these years mean _nothing_ to you? Did _I_ mean nothing to you?”

When there was only a deafening silence at those questions, Jeonghan furiously wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

“You know what? Fuck you,” he spat out.

And like a dramatic final scene, he spun around and got into his car that was parked on the roadside. He started the engine, and just like that, he was gone.

Black haired guy seemed to stand there like he was in a daze from what just happened and what he did. It was like watching reality of a situation crash down over someone’s face.

Meanwhile, Wonwoo just watched all this in stunned silence. What did he just witness?

Did that one guy, just call the other guy _babe_? Did he just see two boys breaking up? Two _boys_?

“U-um, excuse me,” Mingyu finally voiced.

Black haired boy’s head shot up.

He stood and stared at them with wide eyes, like a deer caught in headlights. After a second of delay, he sputtered out. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I’m blocking the way aren’t I?” He immediately backed up to give them space to walk by.

Mingyu chuckled softly. “It’s okay. We should’ve gone around. I think we were just surprised, especially when we were almost home.”

Mingyu pointed at Bora’s house that was right beside the house that they were currently in front of.

“No way, you live at Bora’s place?”

“Yeah,” Mingyu said. “I just moved in like yesterday. New tenant.”

“Oh I see. Bora never rents the place out to anyone so that’s cool.” The black haired boy smiled, albeit a little weakly. The corners of his lips quivered like he was going to start crying any second now. “My name is Seungcheol by the way. It seems we’re neighbours,” he said, clearly trying to make his voice sound firm.

“Oh, my name is Mingyu. And this is…” Mingyu’s eyes trailed down to him. It was only now that Wonwoo realized he’d been clutching onto Mingyu’s shirt and hiding behind him with only half his head poking out to look at Seungcheol.

Wonwoo immediately released his hold on Mingyu’s shirt and moved away slightly.

“I’m Wonwoo,” he said quietly, unable to meet Seungcheol’s eyes for some estranged reason. His stomach was doing continuous nervous flips. “Bora is my aunt. I came to stay here for the summer.”

“That’s cool! Bora is really great,” Seungcheol said.

When Wonwoo didn’t respond, and dropped his head to the ground, Seungcheol quickly added, with a sheepish voice. “By the way, sorry you two had to see that. That was just my boyfriend… well _ex_ -boyfriend now I guess.” 

Boyfriend.

Boyfriend, Boyfriend, _Boyfriend_?

Mingyu chuckled awkwardly. “It’s fine. I um, I hope you’re okay?”

“Definitely am not okay, but yeah, please just pretend like you never saw that.”

Wonwoo tuned out the rest of the conversation. The sound of the sea mixed with Mingyu and Seungcheol’s voices, and all his mind could focus on the fact that Seungcheol broke up with his boyfriend. Seungcheol was a boy that dated other _boys_.

It was his first time meeting someone like that.

He revealed it so easily to Mingyu and Wonwoo— like it didn’t matter whatsoever. How could he be so at _ease_ admitting that to them out of the blue?

“Hey Wonwoo. _Wonwoo_.”

He blinked up to see Mingyu lightly shaking him.

“Did you hear me?” he said. “Let’s go. Come on!”

Mingyu had a hand on his right arm.

Wonwoo blinked down to the hand, and Mingyu immediately let go. “Let’s head inside.”

“Yeah… okay…” he answered, somewhat in a daze. 

Seungcheol was already up his driveway, waving goodbye to them. Mingyu waved back, but Wonwoo could only stare.

He followed Mingyu up to Bora’s house in silence.

When they got inside, Wonwoo noticed an addition of shoes by the doorway. Bora had a visitor over? Mingyu seemed to notice too, and they curiously made their way into the house.

The moment they reached the kitchen however, they froze.

Bora’s back was against the sink, and she was facing another woman who abruptly stumbled away from her.

Wonwoo’s eyes widened as he immediately noticed their closeness, even with Bora’s arms that were outstretched to push the woman away. His eyes trailed up to their mussed up hair, and slightly swollen lips, and heavy breathing and—

_Woah._

_What?_

Everything was frozen and bathed in a deafening sort of silence; that is until Mingyu said, “A-are we interrupting something?”

“I should go!” the woman suddenly cried out, immediately turning to run out the room.

Bora’s arms shot out to stop her. “No,” she said firmly. “Stay.”

The woman glanced at her, then back at them with hesitation.

“B-but—”

“Please.”

Wonwoo’s mind was blank, and it felt a little like he was floating through endless space as Bora ushered all three of them to the living room and got them to sit down.

For the first time since entering this situation, Wonwoo got a good look at the woman and everything seemed to click at once. It was the same woman from that photo that Bora hung up. She had the same Asian features, and straight black hair framing her face. She was very pretty with large eyes and a gently sloped nose.

“You two, this is Fei.” Bora was the first to speak. Her voice sounded confident on the surface, but Wonwoo could hear the underlying tremble in it.

“Nice to meet you,” Fei nodded politely. Her voice was very thin and wispy, a bit like cotton candy, or air. “Bora told me about you two.”

“I figured since both of you are living here, it was better to be transparent with you two,” Bora explained. “You see…” she said the next few things very slowly and it made Wonwoo’s head spin a little. “...Fei is my girlfriend. We’ve been friends for most of our lives, and have been dating for 3 years now.”

When neither of them said anything, Bora continued. “I know this might be hard to take in, but Fei is very important to me. She’ll be here very often, and truth to be told, I wasn’t even planning on you two finding out about this— so if you aren’t okay with it, I suggest you pack your bags.”

Bora stared straight at Wonwoo as she said all this, and his throat felt like someone had scraped it dry.

“W-wait, why wouldn’t we be okay with it?” Mingyu immediately asked. Wonwoo turned to him, and he wore a look of genuine confusion.

Bora tilted her head. Her smile was small, and she was looking at Mingyu like he was a naïve little child that didn’t understand how the world worked yet. Well, she wasn’t wrong.

“Don’t worry about it Mingyu,” is all she said. “I just wanted to make this clear to you two, and if you understand that, then that’s all I need.”

Wonwoo stared at how his aunt reached out and clasped Fei’s hand.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be showing Fei out.” The two women got up, their hands still intertwined as they left the room.

Wonwoo stayed frozen on the couch. Eventually he whispered out loud, “T-this doesn’t make sense. What on earth is happening?”

“What doesn’t make sense?” Mingyu asked, reminding him that he wasn’t sitting here alone.

“First the neighbour,” Wonwoo muttered, “And now my own _aunt_? How’s that even possible? Is everyone on the street like this?”

“Uhh….” Mingyu looked at him like he grew two heads. “What are you even talking about?”

“The fact that they’re both gay!” Wonwoo hissed. “What do you think?!”

Mingyu stared at him for a few prolonged seconds. Wonwoo could almost see the million different thoughts blinking on and off in his brain, and the gears spinning around.

“Wait wait, hold up,” he finally said, brows intensely furrowed. “Are you saying that this _isn’t_ normal for you? Like you don’t just meet gay land-people every day?”

“Of course I don’t!” Wonwoo nearly cried out. “How on earth would I do that? Mingyu, this is the first time in my life meeting a gay person. And I didn’t just meet one. I met four!”

“What the hell.”

“What do you mean what the hell?”

“God land-people are so _weird_ ,” Mingyu pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. “So so, like… everyone up here _isn’t_ gay?”

Wonwoo stared at him in stunned silence.

What the fuck. Had Mingyu really been going around thinking that literally every single person up here was gay?

“Of course they aren’t,” Wonwoo squinted in confusion. “Gay people only make up like 10 percent of the population. Why the actual fuck would you think that?”

“Well nearly all merpeople are.”

Wonwoo’s jaw dropped.

“E-every single mermaid or merman is _gay_?”

“Yes pretty much,” Mingyu said like he was stating the obvious. “Mermaids and mermen are sexually attracted to both sexes. Some are more inclined towards one sex than the other, but you know what I mean. It’s always been like that.”

“Woah.”

“Yeah, woah,” Mingyu rolled his eyes.

Wonwoo truly, honestly, didn’t know what to do with this information. How could a whole freaking civilization or species or whatever they were, be bisexual? It was ludicrous, it was unfathomable, it was—

“Hey,” Mingyu said. “So to clarify, are you telling me you’re _s-straight_?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Wonwoo and Mingyu are the same age in this fic. Both 17, turning 18 soon. Wonwoo will start his last year of highschool once the summer is done.
> 
> Anyway hope you enjoyed the chapter! Would love to hear your thoughts on it so far :)  
> Also, let's all thank minwon for blessing us [today](https://twitter.com/pledis_17/status/1278661082345684993)


	3. Maelstrom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo's scars are ripped straight open. But perhaps this is a chance for him to open up to Mingyu.

“So to clarify, are you telling me you’re s-straight?”

Mingyu said the word _‘straight’_ as if it mildly horrified him.

The question made Wonwoo’s stomach drop like a bad rollercoaster. Yet at the same time he wanted to burst out laughing at the irony of this all.

But before he could even _begin_ to think about how to respond, footsteps approached them, and Bora was standing in front of them.

“Mingyu, I’m gonna have to borrow Wonwoo for a moment okay?” she said. “Need to discuss some things with him in private… family stuff.”

“O-oh! Yeah of course,” Mingyu said as he quickly got up. “I was just gonna go back up to my room anyway.” He gave them one last glance before leaving.

Wonwoo could distinctly hear the thump of Mingyu’s steps above them, travelling up the stairs, before he turned to look at Bora. She sat back down on the couch, adjacent to him, and Wonwoo swallowed with an audible click. There was a blanket of tension settling over them like thick, heavy smog.

“I think you know what I want to talk about right?” she eventually said.

Wonwoo looked down at his lap, and slowly nodded his head. “I think so.”

“Look, let me just get straight to the point,” Bora said. “I knew having you around the house was going to be a problem since Fei would be here so often. I was scared you would realize what was going on. Obviously my fears were right… but now it’s too late, so I’m telling you now: I don’t want you to tell your mother, or _anyone_ in your family about this okay?”

He couldn’t help but catch the worried little tremble in Bora’s voice as she spoke— a tremble he was all too familiar with.

“I won’t tell,” he whispered.

Bora’s dark eyes dug into him, perhaps trying to find the truth in his words. Could she tell that Wonwoo had never been more honest in his entire life than right now? This is one secret he would take to the grave if he had to.

Wonwoo shifted around in his seat uncomfortably. His aunt had turned oddly small and sullen, and it was so different seeing her like this. He had so many thoughts and questions running through his mind too.

As the seconds dragged on and the tick of the clock turned louder in his ears, he couldn’t help but blurt out, “C-can I ask you one thing?”

For a few seconds came no response, and he was beginning to think Bora wouldn’t speak at all. But then she said, “What is it?”

Wonwoo exhaled. “If… if you were scared of me finding out, I don’t get it. Why did you agree to take me in, in the first place?”

Bora smiled a small, sad sort of smile. “Let’s just say, I owe your mother big time, and this is me repaying her. The truth is, I hadn’t seen her in 4 whole years. I was so surprised when she reached out to me after so long. And it was cause of _you_.”

Wonwoo looked down at his lap. He was at the center of this, all in a way he didn’t want to be— how pathetic of him. His mother had really gotten so desperate because of him that she even went to contact her sister, who she hadn’t spoken to in years.

“Why hadn’t you seen her in that long?” he finally voiced, words barely above a whisper.

He thought of all those childhood years when he wondered and pondered over why his aunt suddenly disappeared off the face of the planet. Why her visits stopped, why he never saw her anymore…

“Oh that’s a long, boring old story that I’m not really in the mood to talk about right now,” Bora said flippantly, leaning back on her couch. “But look Wonwoo, even if my sister and I don’t really talk anymore— she’s still my safety net you know? We can at least depend on each other in times of need. She’s the…” Bora’s voice cracked slightly, and she quickly cleared her throat, her gaze turning hard and neutral. “She’s the only one in my family I still have for that. Except for her, the rest of my family completely erased me. That’s why,” she continued with a lower edge in her voice, “you can never, _ever_ , tell her about this. Got it?”

Wonwoo gulped at these words. It felt like something heavy and tight was lodged in his stomach from hearing this.

So many questions swirled through his mind. What did Bora owe his mother? Why did her family disown her? Why didn’t his mother do the same?

He didn’t voice any of those thoughts. Instead he quietly said, “I won’t tell anyone.” 

Bora met his eyes, and although they said nothing else, he knew that they’d reached an understanding.

Because with that she got up and said, “Thank you”, before leaving the room.

Wonwoo spent the next day in his room. He’d safely avoided seeing Mingyu the entire day and his aunt wasn’t home either.

He went down for dinner, carefully listening for any sign of another person. He could only exhale with relief when he heard no one.

He was in the midst of making himself a chicken sandwich when he heard splashing from outside. He looked up from the cutting board and wandered over to the breakfast table, to the tall sliding glass doors that led to the back patio.

The sky had an orange tint with the sun low and getting ready to set.

Mingyu was in the hot tub. Every few seconds he’d swish around in the bubbling water and bring his shimmering tail up, then down with a crash onto the water. His tail shone in the glow of the evening, and even he had to admit it was kind of beautiful.

After a couple more rounds, Mingyu lifted himself out of the tub and his tail vanished to be replaced with regular tanned feet. He looked up when he was fully out of the water, and his eyes met Wonwoo’s. As if on reflex, Wonwoo took several steps back from the glass doors.

Mingyu smirked at him. It’s like he really enjoyed the flustered burn on Wonwoo’s cheeks for being caught looking at him.

What the hell was wrong with this guy?

Did he not care that he was out in the open with literally no clothes on? What if Bora showed up at any minute? How on earth was he so _comfortable_ in his skin like that?

It horrified Wonwoo.

As far as he could remember, it had always made him a little nervous when he used the wide open boys showers after swimming practices at school. Some of the guys took of their swim trunks to shower, but Wonwoo could never. He simply kept his eyes frozen on the shiny square tiles in front of him, and showered as fast as he could.

But maybe merpeople just didn’t care about this sort of thing. Mingyu even said that mermaids didn’t wear anything to cover up either. Clearly these people were a little _too_ comfortable in their own skin and nakedness, in a way that didn’t make sense to him.

Wonwoo averted his eyes as Mingyu stepped down from the ledge of the hot tub and grabbed his newly bought bathrobe that he’d set aside, safe from getting wet.

He was about to turn away and head back up to his room, planning to spend the rest of the day lazing around on his laptop watching some shows— when the glass doors in front of him suddenly slid open. A gust of ocean breeze tickled his skin. Goosebumps lined his arms as he looked up to come face to face with a grinning Mingyu.

“Hi, haven’t seen you all day,” he said with a lazy smile.

“Um hi,” Wonwoo mumbled, taking a few immediate steps back to create some distance between them. However, Mingyu apparently had different plans because he suddenly took him by the shoulders and yanked him outside.

“Woah hey!” he yelped.

Clearly Mingyu lost all memory about his angry outburst yesterday, because he only smiled when Wonwoo looked up to glare at him. There was barely a hand width’s distant between their chests.

“You should get some sunlight after being cooped up inside all day,” he said cheerily. 

Wonwoo exhaled. The distinct scent of sea salt rolled off of Mingyu in waves. Or maybe that was the ocean behind him. Wonwoo could no longer differentiate the tropical air, and Mingyu himself, almost as if they were one and the same. Like Mingyu was just an extension of the vast ocean behind him— the same rippling waters that seemed so good at gripping him by the chest, and dragging him in, despite his attempt at escape.

“No I’d rather be cooped up inside for the rest of the day,” Wonwoo said flatly.

“That’s a terrible idea!” Mingyu exclaimed with a grin, grabbing his hand. “Let’s go to the ocean!”

“What? No! I have better things to do!” Wonwoo firmly planted his feet to the ground.

“Oh really? Like what?”

He huffed and looked away. “None of your business.”

“Oh come on, pleeease?” Mingyu shook his hand pleadingly.

“No!” he said. He yanked himself away and spun around to go back inside, when all at once there were arms coming around his shoulders, locking him in place.

“Well in that case,” Mingyu whispered against the shell of his ear, and when Wonwoo twisted around slightly, he caught a fraction of the mischievous glimmer in his eyes.

“What’re you doing?” Wonwoo groaned.

“You leave me no choice,” Mingyu said with faux innocence.

All at once Mingyu practically lifted him off the ground.

“H-hey! Woah what are you—”

Wonwoo’s heart dropped to the pit of his stomach when Mingyu spun around to the pool.

Everything around him turned to static noise, and Wonwoo started struggling in Mingyu’s hold as they went closer towards the rectangular pit of water.

“Hey! Let go seriously!”

Mingyu’s playful laughter rang through the air as Wonwoo’s lungs twisted. The fear that festered beneath the edges of his brain began seeping in, like a leak through cellophane.

Images flashed through his mind in black and white. Of his hands in front of him, flailing in water. Of suffocation. Of desperately trying to keep afloat.

Wonwoo squeezed his eyes shut to make his brain stop. But the more he tried to slow the thoughts down, the closer they got to the pool and he quickly turned desperate.

“Stop Mingyu!” he screamed now. They were at the edge of the water now. “Stop it! Please!” Wonwoo shouted between gasps, thrashing around to break free. He could barely register Mingyu’s, “Woah woah okay, I’m just kidding”. The moment the arms around him loosened and his feet touched the ground, the force of his flailing limbs sent Mingyu stumbling back, and Wonwoo tripped headfirst— straight into the water.

The plunge made his mind black out for a second. And then he was gasping, struggling for air as he flailed around, his hands frantic to grab onto something, _anything_.

The smell of chlorine filled his senses and he felt like he could throw up right then and there. He couldn’t stop gasping, and his head and heart pounded in synchronization.

“Wonwoo!”

Through his panic, he could just barely make out Mingyu scrambling up from where he had fallen backwards. He looked at him from the edge of the pool, in a mixture of shock and confusion. Wonwoo’s vision swam, tears stinging the corner of his eyes.

“Calm down,” Mingyu said. “It’s just the shallow end! You can touch the ground.”

Wonwoo heard his words, and understood them. Yet the fear that wrapped around him were like roots piercing through even the deepest parts of him. And he couldn’t tear them out.

He could only feel like he was suffocating, like his lungs were filling with water— even though his head was completely above the surface.

“Wonwoo,” Mingyu called out again, his arms were now extended towards him, “Just take my hand.”

Wonwoo desperately grabbed the outstretched hand. He just wanted this gut wrenching sense of terror that kept weaving through his chest every couple seconds, to _stop_. His surroundings spun as he felt wide, calloused palms pulling him out of the water.

He couldn’t stop trembling as his hands touched stone. He knelt on the patio and dry heaved.

Tears dribbled down his cheeks and he was continuously shivering. The only slight sense of comfort he could find was the cool touch of the tiled patio stones beneath his legs and palms.

“Wonwoo? Wonwoo hey, look at me.”

Mingyu’s arms were on his shoulders. His eyes no longer held any playful light; instead they were wide in shock, like he didn’t quite know what to do with this whole situation.

The look on Mingyu’s face caused another sickening shudder to run through him. He hated how Mingyu was looking at him. With shock, and fear.

It’s the same look that he received all those months ago.

Wonwoo let out a muffled sob, and tears blurred his vision once again.

His body shook as he felt himself being shifted, and warm arms encircled him. His head rested against Mingyu’s chest and he didn’t know how long he stayed like that for. Eventually, his breathing slowed down, and the fear that shook him inside out receded slightly.

When he could finally formulate a coherent sentence, he choked out, “I-I take it back, I really do hate you.” His voice broke at the end, and stray tears fell from the corner of his eyes.

“Wonwoo I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I’m so so so sorry,” Mingyu whispered. He leaned back slightly so they could look at each other. He cupped Wonwoo’s cheeks and began wiping away the tear tracks with the pads of his thumb.

“Y-your aunt, she’s a swimmer and we’re at a coastal city. It didn’t even cross my mind that you were so scared of the water...” Mingyu sighed. “It’s all my fault. I was never going to push you in anyway, I was only joking. I didn’t mean for you to fall in. I’m so _so_ sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter if you weren’t going to push me in,” Wonwoo whispered. “You didn’t listen to me when I told you to stop. And you scared me by pretending you were going to and and—”

“I know, I know.” Mingyu carded his fingers through Wonwoo’s hair and smoothed away his bangs. “I should’ve listened to you. I wasn’t taking you seriously at first, because it was supposed to be a joke. I didn’t realize you were _actually_ scared until later. I should’ve stopped right when you said so, I’m so sorry.”

“You’re the worst,” Wonwoo sniffled. His heart steadily calmed down. He gradually removed himself from Mingyu’s arms, but didn’t move any further away.

“Yeah I really am, aren’t I?” Mingyu said softly, his eyes downcast.

They stayed by the pool like that for many minutes in silence, sitting side by side.

After a while, Mingyu spoke up. “Wonwoo, listen, I promise, I’ll never do something like that again. So please, give me a second chance?” He looked up at him almost pleadingly.

It was foreign to Wonwoo, how intensely serious, and sincere Mingyu looked at this moment. All this time he had just been a hyper kid or annoying flirt in Wonwoo’s eyes. But now... this was a new side to Mingyu he hadn’t seen before.

Wonwoo rubbed at the corner of his eyes. He was all snotty and gross, and honestly exhausted after all this.

“Second chance for what?” he asked quietly.

“To spend time with you? To talk to you?”

Wonwoo was immediately taken aback by the response. He really didn’t understand Mingyu’s intentions sometimes.

“W-why do you want to spend time with me? Like for what reason?” he mumbled.

“Do I have to have a specific reason? I just want to.” Mingyu shrugged. “I wanted to go see the ocean with you. But I guess since you’re scared, you wouldn’t really want to huh?”

“No I wouldn’t,” he said curtly.

They sat together without exchanging more words for a while longer, until Mingyu said, “Do you think you can forgive me?”

Wonwoo turned to look at him, and Mingyu’s lips slightly curved up. His smile was so careful and gentle, different from his sharp and cocky grins— he _did_ look genuinely sorry. Wonwoo’s heart wavered for a few seconds as he remained transfixed upon Mingyu’s warm gaze.

For some strange reason, he didn’t want this newfound side of Mingyu to disappear.

“I mean...” Wonwoo pursed his lips and paused. “You didn’t know about my fear. And you _are_ sorry for what you did. A-and promised you won’t do it again so. I... I guess I do forgive you. Just this once.”

Wonwoo just looked away, but he could hear the hint of a smile in Mingyu’s voice as he said, “Thank you.”

As they sat together in the temperate evening, for the very first time— the sound of the ocean tides didn’t make Wonwoo’s stomach turn inside out.

“You know,” Mingyu suddenly said, “You’re the first land person I ever met. So you’re kind of special to me.”

Wonwoo blinked up in surprise. His mind muddled together. He was _special_ to someone? To Mingyu? How could he just say something like that?

As if he could read his thoughts, Mingyu grinned. “I’ve never seen the ocean from the land, which is why I wanted to go with you.”

Now Wonwoo’s thoughts were really going askew, and he could barely process what Mingyu was trying to say. He glanced down at his lap so they wouldn’t meet eyes. When he was sure he wasn’t being looked at, he snuck a glance.

Mingyu was gazing out at the horizon, at the view of the ocean,.

In the light of the setting sun, his features were gentle, like soft strokes of oil pastel in hues of gold and orange. His eyes glowed with spots of amber and his black hair fluttered in the breeze.

A part of Wonwoo wanted to tear his eyes away, but another part wanted to keep looking.

And all at once, like a hand slapping him square across the face— everything _clicked._

Wonwoo understood.

He understood why he’d been so irritated and frustrated around Mingyu this whole time. Since the moment they’d met in fact.

It wasn’t that he was truly angry at Mingyu. Other than the pretending to push him in the pool part, which he’d more or less agreed to accept the apology for... there was no part of him that despised Mingyu.

Rather, Wonwoo was frustrated at _himself—_ for being the way he was.

Mingyu was a reminder to him, of the things that he wanted to forget or change.

Yet in spite of all that, for some absurd reason, sitting by Mingyu in front of this pool calmed Wonwoo’s nerves. He felt far calmer than what he _should_ feel.

“H-hey,” Wonwoo whispered. “Can I tell you something?”

“What is it?” Mingyu asked.

“W-well the truth is, I wasn’t always scared of the water...” Wonwoo said as a breeze blew by. He shivered and his wet shirt and pants dripped against the patio. A dark imprint of water against stone surrounded him by now. “I was actually one of the best swimmers in the state, at least among my age, only a couple months ago.”

“Woah really?”

“Yeah.”

Now Mingyu looked at him with concern. “Then what happened?”

“It’s a long story,” Wonwoo sighed.

Mingyu shifted closer to him. “We have time,” he said with a smile.

“Y-you’ll listen," he whispered. "If I tell you?” 

“Of course I will,” Mingyu nodded. “But first, you should get changed. You’ll catch a cold if you stay any longer like this.”

Wonwoo gulped and shook his head rapidly. “N-no, I um, I need to say it _now_. I don’t think I’ll be able to... otherwise...”

“Okay, I understand. Just hold on a second,” he said, and with that he got up and left.

No longer than a minute later, Wonwoo’s view was partially obstructed with a gray towel placed over his head.

Mingyu settled down in front of him and began ruffling through his hair. He smiled at Wonwoo through the hood of the towel, and then gently moved it over his shoulders. His hands lingered on the cloth against his chest for a few prolonged seconds.

Wonwoo tried to ignore the loud thumps of his heart as Mingyu leaned back and said, “Whenever you’re ready.”

He cleared his throat.

This wouldn’t be a big deal, he could do this.

“W-well it started...” He looked down at his hands— at the way they were suddenly trembling.

He exhaled. He pulled his knees up to his chest and tightly clasped his arms around them, hoping that would stop any movement.

“Everything started going to shit about 6 months ago, in December,” Wonwoo spoke, voice strong and clear. “Midway through my junior year...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah this is a short one,,  
> But hey, it's all leading up to the next chapter! :))) hope you enjoyed it 
> 
> Also minwon really don't stop [delivering](https://twitter.com/pledis_17/status/1281856121825751048?s=20) do they?


	4. Abyssal Zone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story of all the things Wonwoo ruined during his second last year of high school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw // depiction of a panic attack. bracketed by— ‘He felt the drive of the water surge against him' and 'Wonwoo, you’re actually physically fine’
> 
> tw // verbal abuse and mild physical abuse

Wonwoo was around thirteen years old, on the cusp of puberty, when he realized he was gay.

He’d always felt different in a way... but he never understood _why_ or where that feeling came from.

Maybe it stemmed from the fact, that both boys and girls around him started having crushes, and some would even “date”— in whatever way thirteen year olds could actually date. But Wonwoo wanted nothing to do with that.

He felt absolutely nothing when he received giggles and stares from girls in his grade. One day he received a confession, and he had to politely reject his classmate, saying that he didn’t feel the same way.

He even took to online forums, asking if it was weird or abnormal that he hadn’t had his first crush yet. According to the replies, it was perfectly fine. Apparently many people hadn’t had their first crush until later in life. There was nothing wrong with him. Knowing this came to a relief to him.

But one day, everything about how Wonwoo viewed himself changed; and it came in the form of a new student in his grade: Kwon Soonyoung.

Soonyoung had transferred a few months into the school year, and the moment he brightly introduced himself in front of the class and smiled with his eyes turning into little slanted lines— all Wonwoo could think of was: this boy had the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.

And then he did a double take, because did Wonwoo just call a boy _beautiful_?

Truthfully, Wonwoo just wanted to stay away from Kwon Soonyoung since that first day, but his plan inevitably failed. It turned out the boy was a swimmer too, so he joined the swim team and quickly became a part of Wonwoo’s circle of friends.

Wonwoo couldn’t stop thinking about Soonyoung for the rest of the year. He found himself pulled into his orbit. He was a star, and Wonwoo was just a tiny planet endlessly circling him.

It was as though this new kid enveloped every corner of his mind. Wonwoo would endlessly replay his voice, and eyes, and smile, laughter and words, until his brain turned to mush.

Why was it that his heart got a little louder whenever Soonyoung and him sat closely side by side? And why did the thumps only intensify the closer he got into Wonwoo’s personal space?

And the worst aspect of being around Soonyoung? It was the swimming. In every swim practice they had together, Wonwoo started feeling embarrassed and self-conscious in the water— a place that normally felt like home to him.

And the change rooms were worse. He tried to change as fast as he could, keeping his eyes away from everyone: _especially_ Soonyoung _._ And yet, sometimes his eyes found themselves lingering on Soonyoung’s small but confident back. He hated this.

What was it about this boy that made him so goddamn nervous? Was Wonwoo just intimidated by how he was the loudest, brightest human in every room he entered? Or was it something else? 

The school year was almost over, and he was still grappling with this question.

It was the night before the last day of school when the answer hit Wonwoo like a ton of bricks.

He woke up in cold sweat in the middle of the night. His pupils were wide in their sockets as he shot upright. He immediately lifted his blanket and looked down at his pajama shorts.

“Fuck,” Wonwoo whispered.

He just had a wet dream for the first time in his life, and he was mortified.

Not exactly because he had a wet dream, but because of what was in the dream... or rather, _who_ was in the dream.

All he could think was about how absolutely _screwed_ he was, as he changed out of his shorts and yanked off his bed sheets at 3am that night.

He could barely meet Soonyoung’s eyes the coming school day. Every time he looked at him, his mind kept flashing back to his dream of a much _much_ different, and all the more intimidating Soonyoung.

Wonwoo’s mind was frantic. He was scared of ruining their friendship. But more than anything, he was _ashamed_. The shame ran further and cut deeper than any emotion and he felt nauseous just thinking about himself.

He couldn’t feel this way about Soonyoung. He couldn’t feel this way about another _boy_.

If anyone found out...

What would happen to him on the swim team? What would happen to his relationship with Soonyoung? Fuck, what would his _parents_ think? Would they—

“Wonwoo,” Soonyoung’s voice cut through his inner turmoil.

They were standing with some of their other friends in front of the school. They were getting ready to walk to the ice-cream parlour to celebrate school finally being over and summer vacation starting.

“You okay?” he asked. “You’ve been really quiet today.”

“I...” Wonwoo’s voice shook and faltered. Soonyoung’s eyes were so bright in the summer light. And they were just as beautiful as when Wonwoo first saw him.

Well shit.

He really did like this boy.

That’s what he’s been feeling this whole year.

He liked the way Soonyoung smiled. The way he laughed and lit up every space he entered. The way he got all of Wonwoo’s jokes. The way he worried and cared for Wonwoo even when he didn’t deserve it: like right now.

Wonwoo liked everything about Kwon Soonyoung— not just in the way that existed within friendship.

And that terrified him.

“You what?” Soonyoung asked, stepping closer to him with concern.

“I... I have to go!” Wonwoo blurted out. “I um, I don’t feel well. Imsosorry, have fun without me okay?”

He spun around and took off down the sidewalk.

He ran and ran until he felt like his lungs would burst. His bag thumped against his back and the weight of it pushed down on his shoulders and made them ache— but still, he didn’t stop running. He let his feet slam rapidly against concrete, all the way until he reached home.

Wonwoo lay wide awake that night. The internet forums all told him the obvious: he was gay.

This whole time he’d been too dense to realize it. But it all made sense. All the little confusions he had— like how he probably had celebrity crushes on the male leads from these asian dramas his mom watched, but he dismissed it as admiration, and other little details like that: there was a concrete explanation for it after all.

Wonwoo was thirteen when he realized he was gay.

And god, he wanted to be anything _but_.

Wonwoo kept his secret tightly in wraps for the rest of middle school, and into high school as well.

Soonyoung and him continued spending time together. He could safely say after a year or two, that they were best friends.

He did a good job of hiding his feelings, because no one seemed to suspect a thing.

There were in fact kids in his school that were targeted and bullied for “acting” gay.

 _‘Gay’_ wasn’t a word anyone wanted to be remotely associated with. It was filled with ugly and hateful connotation, and years of mistreatment and bullying.

Wonwoo looked at those boys that were picked on, and wondered if some of them were actually gay. He felt bad for them.

He knew that could’ve very well been him. But it was swimming that saved him from this scrutiny. Him being a top athlete was almost like a seal of protection. Boys that didn’t play sports, that weren’t well-built, that carried a soft or feminine or flamboyant demeanour: _they_ were the targets.

He knew it was terrible to think this, but honestly Wonwoo was just relieved that he didn’t fall into those categories.

He could confidently hide who he was inside.

That is... until he couldn’t.

“Wonwoo relax, it’ll be fun!” Soonyoung laughed pulling him along the sidewalk lit by street lamps. “I know parties aren’t your thing, but shouldn’t you go to at least one to, I dunno, get the full high school experience? We’re juniors already. Plus the whole swim team will be there! You’re always the one that doesn’t show up.”

“Soonyoung is right you know!” A girl perked up, standing on his other side and linking arms with him to help Soonyoung tug him along.

She batted her eyes sweetly at him, and smiled. This was Soonyoung’s girlfriend, Sana. They’d been dating for a few months.

Wonwoo stared at both of them in mild annoyance.

“Fine, fine!” he grunted, yanking his arms away from them. “Just this once.”

“Good.” Soonyoung grinned so brightly, it was almost like the sun shining and Wonwoo’s annoyance nearly dissipated into nothingness.

The moment they arrived at the house and entered the party, he immediately felt out of place. It was crowded, and loud, and full of drunk kids he could recognize from school.

He was surprised to see the model students getting absolutely wasted, the artists and some pretty girls with perfect images all getting stoned. Clearly he knew shit about the student body.

“Well well well, if it isn’t mister I don’t do parties Jeon Wonwoo!” Joshua, a senior on the swim team came by to greet him. He laughed and clapped Wonwoo on the back. “Good to see you here man.”

“Um glad to be here I guess,” he said, trying not to grimace. He was definitely _not_ glad to be here, but whatever made Soonyoung happy.

He stuck with Soonyoung and Sana for a while, watching them play some dumb drinking games and even joining in when he was encouraged (read: forced) to.

After a while, Soonyoung naturally wandered off to talk with some of the other kids.

Wonwoo watched him from afar and sighed. He didn’t want to approach the jocks that Soonyoung was with.

He turned away, and was about to go find spare space on a couch and sit around until Soonyoung wanted to go home, when he felt a tug on his arm.

He glanced back around to see Sana.

“Come on, don’t be a party pooper, let’s go get some more drinks,” she smiled at him, tilting her head so that her blond hair fell in perfect wavy curls around her face.

She was pretty, and paired with her sweet and bubbly personality— he could definitely see how Soonyoung would be attracted to her. Why would Soonyoung _ever_ spare him a glance when he had someone like Sana? God he was fucking stupid.

Wonwoo clenched his fists and he hoped it wasn’t visible through the sleeves of his sweater. His ugly jealousy that he couldn’t seem to get rid of was festering just beneath the surface.

Slowly, he exhaled and unclenched his fists. He needed to fucking _relax_.

“Okay,” he said. “Let’s get some drinks.”

Sana’s eyes lit up and she ushered him to the kitchen.

She poured herself whatever was laying out open on the counter, while Wonwoo grabbed the non-alcoholic punch. After all, he couldn’t be drinking when he had to practice every day and was trying to get his swim times to their absolute best. Plus, there was a big swim meet this coming Monday.

Sana led them to the backyard deck, where they sat at in the corner by the stairs that led down from the deck.

“What are you even doing here?” Wonwoo mumbled after taking a sip of his fruit punch. “Shouldn’t you be with your boyfriend?”

“What are _you_ doing here?” Sana shot back with a smile. “Shouldn’t you be with your best friend?”

Wonwoo chuckled. “I’m not comfortable around the popular kids and jocks Soonyoung talks to. I’ll just feel awkward.”

“Well it’s the same for me,” she shrugged.

“Sana, you _are_ one of the popular kids.”

“And so are you Jeon Wonwoo,” she laughed. 

“It’s only cause of my swimming,” Wonwoo shook his head. “No one would even notice me otherwise.

“Doesn’t matter,” she said. “Anyway, sometimes I need a break from those jocks, and you’re a nice break okay?” She looked at him with a twinkly smile.

Wonwoo wanted to ask what that meant, but thought better of it.

Instead, they stayed sitting and talking (well more like complaining) about school, and the work load, and the teachers, and whatever dumb shit happened at the cafeteria last week. It was mainly Sana talking, but Wonwoo didn’t mind. He was used to someone else leading the conversation and him trailing behind.

Partway through, Sana got up to grab more drinks.

When she came back with a couple, Wonwoo had to tell her that he really couldn’t be drinking.

“It’s for me you doofus,” She rolled her eyes.

“O-oh I see...” He eyed her cautiously as she cracked another can open. “Just... be careful?”

“You’re cute,” she laughed.

He wasn’t sure how many drinks Sana went through exactly, but he wasn’t sure how much alcohol made sense for her weight and size. Hell he didn’t even know his _own_ limit, considering he never drank. But soon, Sana was slightly slurring her words and Wonwoo pulled the drink out of her hand.

“I think you had enough,” he said.

“Awww,” she whined. “You’re no fun.”

“Sorry for being responsible.”

They sat in silence for a few seconds, until a question that Wonwoo had wanted to ask Sana many minutes back, popped into his head again. He felt slightly braver now, and he didn’t hesitate when asking: “Hey, by the way, what did you mean by I’m a _break_ from the jocks?”

Sana tilted her head, her eyes glazed over.

“Ahhh that,” she said, before shuffling closer to him. “I meannnn, you’re just very un-jock like. That’s all. Kind of the opposite really.”

Wonwoo scratched the back of his neck. “I don’t know if that’s a compliment or not.”

“I’d take it as a compliment,” Sana laughed, leaning further towards him. Wonwoo quickly inched back and got up from the wooden deck floor.

“Okay I should um, go find Soonyoung. Just stay here okay?” he said. “You’re kind of drunk. I’ll be back in like two minutes.”

He turned around when he felt a sharp tug on his sleeves.

“Don’t go,” Sana pouted up at him, and tried to stand up. Of course she stumbled and Wonwoo quickly caught her by the arms to keep her upright.

She blinked at him with hazy eyes, before straightening herself.

It was only then that he noticed their proximity. She was close, really close, and he could make out the faint moles dotting her cheeks.

Before Wonwoo could even begin to back away, the tiny distance between them closed all at once.

Wonwoo’s eyes widened as he felt Sana’s soft lips press against his own and the scent of her vanilla perfume filled his nose.

He immediately pushed himself back, stumbling in the process.

“W-what are you doing?!” Wonwoo sputtered.

Sana’s eyes widened, like she just realized what she did.

“Sana what the hell?!” he nearly shouted.

Wonwoo frantically looked around to see who’d seen them. No one seemed to be sparing them a glance (it was too dim outside anyway), and Soonyoung was nowhere in sight.

“I... I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“Soonyoung is my best friend, why would you do that?” he hissed.

“I... I messed up,” Sana shook her head. “I’m sorry I’m sorry.”

“Just tell me you didn’t mean to do that, right? _Right?_ You’re just drunk, and out of your mind and—”

“No.” A few tears dribbled down her cheeks now. “That’s not... I mean— I probably would’ve never done that if I wasn’t drunk. But at the same time... it’s the _truth_.”

“T-the truth?”

She looked up at him, her eyes bright with tears. “I’ve liked you since _forever_.”

“You’re kidding.” Wonwoo took a shaky exhale. “Tell me you’re kidding.”

“I’m not.”

“T-then why would you date Soonyoung?!”

Sana gave him a wobbly and sad smile. “Because you’re his best friend,” she whispered.

Now Wonwoo was in mild shock. What on earth was going on? Did he sign up for this when he agreed to go to this stupid party?

“What the fuck? Sana that’s so messed up. W-what’s wrong with you?” Wonwoo stammered, slowly backing away.

“I know.” She looked at the ground, and wiped her wet cheeks. “I know it is. What I did was horrible.”

“You... You _used_ my b-best friend,” Wonwoo sputtered out. “Did you ever think about how Soonyoung would feel when he found out?”

“I’m sorry.”

Wonwoo pressed his palm against his temples. He felt like he was going to get a migraine from all this.

“I’m not the one you should be saying sorry to,” is all he could whisper, before he spun around and did what he was best at doing all these years: run.

He ran all the way home and didn’t look back.

The next day was Saturday, and normally that meant Wonwoo’s usual morning run and exercise routine. But today, he just refused to get up. It was early afternoon by the time he got his eyes to open, and he could see a couple text notifications from Soonyoung.

Wonwoo didn’t open the messages or respond. He didn’t want to think about whatever happened last night, and simply curled back into bed until his mother yelled at him to get up.

Eventually he got up and opened up his computer. He had a few notifications on a reddit post that he made a day or two ago.

Basically he had posted asking for advice on how to get over his feelings for his best friend.

He explained how he was a closeted gay guy, and his best friend was most definitely straight, so he really had no chance here.

So far, Wonwoo had just tried to ignore the feelings and hoped they would eventually go away— but he had no luck with that. If anything, his feelings for Soonyoung only grew stronger over time. And ever since Soonyoung got a girlfriend, his jealousy had only gotten worse. He needed to stop feeling like his heart was being ripped apart whenever he saw them together.

Wonwoo sighed at the responses on his post. Almost all of them were saying that he should distance himself from his friend. That was the only way he could truly get over his feelings.

A few said he should try casually dating other people too.

Wonwoo chuckled bitterly at that. He didn’t know a single openly gay person in his high school. It probably didn’t help that he lived in a primarily white, conservative suburban neighbourhood sprinkled with a few Asians here and there.

And of course, he could never reveal his secret to his parents either. He already knew where they stood on this. He can still distinctly remember his father muttering disapproving words and curses when the news headlines read something about the Pride parade happening in their city.

There was also the fact that his parents went to church every week, like majority of the people there. When Wonwoo was younger he would actually go to the Sunday service with them, but as he got older, he started only going if his parents made him.

Wonwoo hated those days at church the most. He felt more disgusting in his own skin than usual. He couldn’t escape the thought that he was a disease that didn’t belong in that religious place. He was an intruder that wasn’t welcome— an imposter trying to be something he _wasn’t_.

He always felt extra paranoid in there. Could people notice what he was? Could they see that he didn’t _belong_? Was god reading his mind as he stood in there, disapproving of his very existence and ready to throw him into hell?

Wonwoo wasn’t sure if he wholly believed in the existence of god. He was probably somewhere in the middle of the debate— but he often really wished he could stop believing all together.

Dinner that night started off like any other.

He set the table while his brother, who was a year older than him, served the food on their plates. They all sat down, and his parents were oddly silent.

Wonwoo looked over at them from across the table and his stomach churned nervously. Did something happen? Why were they being so quiet and why did they keep exchanging glances?

He shook his head. If it was important, they would tell him.

He picked up his chopsticks and scooped up some of his rice. Before the food could touch his lips, his mother’s voice cut through the dining room.

“Wonwoo,” she said.

He closed his mouth and slowly lowered his chopsticks.

“Y-yes?”

“Your father and I need to talk to you about something.”

Wonwoo raised his head and his eyes darted between them. His stomach tightened with nerves from the looks on their faces. Their mouths were set in grim lines, and their eyes were dark and humourless.

“What is it?” he managed to gulp out.

“Today...” his mother slowly began, “I was doing laundry. I went into your room to pick up your laundry basket.” She paused and exhaled. “You happened to be out of the room, probably in the washroom— but your computer screen was on.”

Wonwoo’s stomach dropped.

What she said next made his blood turn cold. Fear shot through every nerve of his body.

“I saw what you’ve been posting on that website Wonwoo,” she said quietly. “I spoke with your father about it.”

Without any warning his fingers began trembling, and he set down his chopsticks on the ceramic plate with a quiet clank.

This couldn’t be happening.

They couldn’t find out about this.

“M-mom I—”

“I don’t get it, what website? What’s he posting?” His brother spoke up. Junsu glanced at him in a mix of confusion and curiosity, and then back at their parents.

“Well your brother...” his father spoke for the first time with his head cocked to the side. His eyes set on Wonwoo were piercing and dark as ever. “He says he’s gay.”

His father’s voice was ice cold as he uttered the last word.

Wonwoo was a whole different kind of scared now, and his pulse quickened. 

He could barely hear his brother spitting out, “He’s what now?” and then bursting out into laughter that seemed hysterical.

Wonwoo looked him from the corner of his eyes as Junsu’s twisted laugh transformed into a grimace. “You serious? You think you’re _that_?”

Everything around him felt muffled, like someone had shoved his head underwater and he couldn’t breathe.

What on earth was going to happen to him? He lived under his parent’s roof, he still relied on them financially, he had absolutely nowhere to go to, or turn to if— if...

Wonwoo looked down at his hands that were set atop the table. They were trembling against the wood.

“Junsu, you can take your food upstairs today,” his mother said. “We need to have a conversation with Wonwoo.”

His brother simply nodded and silently got up with his plate. He gave Wonwoo one last distinctly disgusted look before turning away.

“Wonwoo,” his mother called out to him. He looked away from his brother to focus on her. “Tell us the truth,” she said. “What I saw wasn’t a mistake right?”

“I... I’m sorry,” he whispered. His eyes stung and the edges of his vision grew fuzzy. He could feel the onset of tears bubbling and threatening to spill all over.

“No,” his father said so quietly that he barely heard it. Then his voice grew louder. “No, no, no absolutely _not_.”

“D-dad?” he said. 

“As your parent I won’t allow this kind of behavior. Who are you hanging out with at school huh, is it that Soonyoung boy that’s encouraging this nonsense?”

“W-what?” Wonwoo sputtered out. “Soonyoung has nothing to do with this!”

“Well whatever it is, it needs to stop you hear me?” His father was practically yelling now. “You’re almost an adult now. You have scholarships, and competitions and college applications to focus on. Instead your head is being filled up by this kind of bullshit?! You shame our family Wonwoo!”

“Oh what would your aunts and uncles and grandparents say if they found out,” his mother whispered in mild horror.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Wonwoo said over and over, a few tears inevitably streaming down his cheeks by now, no matter how hard he tried to stop them.

“What’s the point of saying sorry huh? Will that change anything?!” His father shouted. “You need to fix yourself, you hear me?”

“F-fix myself?”

“Do I need to repeat myself twice? Unless you learn better of your actions, I won’t welcome you into this household. There’s no excuse for this.”

“But I... I haven’t even done anything,” he whispered. His voice was scratchy and barely audible. He clenched his shaking hands in his lap, hoping that it wasn’t too noticeable.

A humourless chuckle filled the tense air and the sound made Wonwoo want to disappear and wish he’d never opened his mouth. His father’s glare seemed to burn a hole through him from where he was sitting adjacent to Wonwoo at the dining table. “Haven’t done anything huh? That’s what you think?” he demanded.

The pure disgust and contempt in his voice made Wonwoo shudder and shrink further into himself.

“I mean, I just— ”

“You’ve done plenty wrong up in here,” his father seethed, jabbing the side of Wonwoo’s head with a finger. 

His right ear thrummed for a few seconds from the shouting and his mind felt fuzzy as he slowly straightened his neck.

“Jungsik.” A warning simmered in his mother’s tone when she called out to his father, and he lowered his hand.

“Your mother and I will discuss what to do about your situation,” he said more calmly now, though bitterness still laced his voice. “In the meantime, you’re not allowed to go anywhere after school or on the weekends. You’ll go to school and swimming practices, and come home straight when they’re done. Understand?”

“Yes sir.”

“And since you won’t be going anywhere but your school and scheduled practices, hand over your phone.”

“B-but—”

“Wonwoo.” His father raised his voice. “This _isn’t_ a discussion.”

He shakily exhaled and did as he was told.

“Also, I’ll need to know the password to your computer. You can write it for me later.”

“W-what?” he stammered. “Why? There’s nothing on there I—”

“Wonwoo. What did I just say?”

He deflated in defeat.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

They sat in silence for a few seconds longer, before his father got up with a sigh. “This ruined my appetite. I’ll excuse myself for the night.”

With that he stalked out of the room.

Now it was just him and his mother. He couldn’t find it in himself to raise his head and look her in the eyes. He couldn’t bear to see any disgust or disappointment.

He didn’t know how long they sat like that for, but after a while she murmured out, “You know, we’re just being like this for your own good right? It’s because we love you.”

Wonwoo wanted to burst out into sobs right then and there.

No. No he _didn’t_ know, he wanted to scream. How could something for his own good hurt this much?

Of course he didn’t say that out loud.

“I know,” is all he ended up whispering.

Walking into school the coming Monday morning, Wonwoo felt oddly numb. It felt as though something inside of him had permanently shattered over the course of the weekend.

He heard his parents arguing about him multiple times in just two days. They were already arguing a lot lately, but now he was inevitably involved in their shouting matches. Sunday night he tried eavesdropping on them, and his blood ran cold from hearing the words “conversion” and “therapy” together.

They were arguing about what to do with him— and apparently _that_ was on the table as well. He didn’t leave his room after that, and rocked himself back and forth until he fell into an uncomfortable half-asleep sort of state.

And now he was standing back in school, seriously drained and sleep deprived. Worst of all, he had a swim meet during break against one of their rival schools in the city.

Normally he would’ve taken the weekend to prepare for that, and attended morning practice too, but he did no such thing this time.

It’s like he was caught in a hazy distant dream, where he was watching the world from a bubble and it was racing and moving by him, but all Wonwoo could do was stand there and stare.

He didn’t think about how his coach must be freaking out right now that his best swimmer didn’t show up for morning practice on the day of the meet. He didn’t think about how Soonyoung was probably blowing up his phone trying to reach him all this time. He didn’t think about Sana and what she might’ve said to Soonyoung. He didn’t think about any of it.

“Wonwoo!” A shout resounded through the hallway and everyone seemed to freeze. Wonwoo stopped in his tracks too, and he could feel everyone’s eyes on him. He didn’t turn around to greet the owner of the voice.

Instead he felt a sharp tug on his backpack and Soonyoung bounced up in front of him.

“Where have you been man?” he said. “I’ve been trying to reach you all weekend!”

All the students watching them in silence seemed to unfreeze and continue their activities after that, and the hallway resumed to its typical loud volume.

Wonwoo tried not to meet Soonyoung’s eyes as the boy continued rambling on.

“And you missed swim practice too! The coach is worried since we have a meet today! You’re not sick are you? You can swim today right?”

“I… yeah I can,” Wonwoo whispered. He looked down at his worn out ruddy sneakers.

“Hey Wonwoo…” Soonyoung’s voice turned gentle. Maybe he noticed how much of a complete and utter _mess_ Wonwoo looked like, because he softly asked now, “Is something wrong?”

Wonwoo parted his lips, about to deny that anything was wrong at all. But then he slowly closed his mouth. He couldn’t keep doing this. He couldn’t keep holding onto these feelings. Not after everything that had happened.

He hastily glanced around before taking Soonyoung by the wrist and leading him out the small door that was a couple meters away from them. The door exited to a tiny back field of the school.

Wonwoo took a deep breath once they were outside. “I have to tell you something.”

“What is it?”

“Have you spoken to Sana?”

“No, not really. I mean… both of you ditched me at the party. And I’ve been trying to contact you since.” Soonyoung frowned. “Why weren’t you responding to me?”

“My parents took my phone.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Honestly it’s not important,” he sighed. “I got in trouble for something but it’s whatever. Anyway, so um, Sana.”

“Yeah she texted me last night… said she needed to talk to me about something. In person. Sounded serious.”

Wonwoo grimaced. “Well I guess it doesn’t matter which one of us tells you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Soonyoung I…” Wonwoo could barely look him in the eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“At the party… we kissed.”

“What?” Soonyoung nervously chuckled. “What are you talking about?”

“Sana and I kissed. Friday night.”

Soonyoung looked at him in bewilderment, and he let out a weak laugh like he didn’t quite believe his words. “Wonwoo, dude, this isn’t funny.”

“I’m not joking.”

Soonyoung slowly backed away from him. A mix of confusion and anger slowly coloured his face. “W-why would you do that?” he whispered. “Did you do it on purpose?”

“More or less,” he answered lifelessly. He tried to keep his voice flat and emotionless as possible.

“Why?” Soonyoung’s voice had turned thin and raspy now. He’d only heard it like this a couple times before— usually before he started crying.

Wonwoo’s heart thudded painfully. All he could think of was that if Soonyoung started crying right here, he didn’t know if he could handle it or watch that happen.

He shrugged. “Sana said she didn’t like you anyway. She always liked me more. She was just trying to get close to me by going out with you.”

“B-but…”

Wonwoo felt sick to his stomach. He really deserved to go to hell for what he was doing. He was hurting the one boy he possibly loved more than anyone else.

Did he _love_ Soonyoung?

Ah well, it didn’t fucking matter now.

“Well um,” Soonyoung let out a loud sniff and he blinked rapidly. Wonwoo could tell he was trying really hard to suppress his tears. “D-do you like her?” he asked, voice coming out in the tiniest measliest whisper.

“Not really.” Wonwoo said flatly.

“T-then…” Soonyoung faltered and he looked at him with his eyes wide. “Why would you do that?” His voice grew louder, until he was shouting. “Just give me a reason!”

Wonwoo only shrugged in response and looked away. “I don’t think we should be friends anymore.”

“Y-you don’t want to be friends?” Soonyoung’s confused and angry eyes blended into pure hurt. He looked like Wonwoo had just slapped him across the face. “ _That’s_ why you did that?”

“I guess so.”

“You guess so? _You guess_ so?! What the _fuck_ is that supposed to even mean?” he yelled.

Wonwoo stared at the way Soonyoung’s fingers were clenched into fists. They were trembling by his sides.

_Just punch me already._

_Do it._

_I deserve it._

However no punch ever came. Instead, the warning bell rang, and Wonwoo sighed.

He turned around and quietly said, “First period is going to start soon.”

With that, he walked inside without taking another look back.

He felt so void of all emotion as he calmly headed up the flights of stairs to his first class, and took his seat. Maybe it was because everything that had happened hadn’t quite sunk in just yet. Maybe his mental breakdown was simply delayed, and he was just a pressure can waiting to burst.

He glanced beside him to Soonyoung’s empty chair. They shared first period and third period together.

About 10 minutes after the bell, Soonyoung arrived at last. His face was blotchy and puffy, like he’d been crying. Wonwoo couldn’t bear to look at him for the entirety of the class.

He quickly got up when the bell rang to head to second period.

Just as he stepped out of the class, he was stopped by none other than Sana.

“Wonwoo,” she said.

“Sana,” he curtly responded.

“We… we have to talk.”

“No we don’t really need to. I took care of it.”

“W-what do you mean you took _care_ of it?”

“You don’t have to talk to Soonyoung if you don’t want to. I spoke to him already.”

Sana’s eyes widened. “What did you say? Did you tell him—” Her lips froze mid-sentence, and Wonwoo followed her line of sight. Across from them in the hallway, was Soonyoung.

He was standing, watching them, the corners of his lips trembling.

His eyes were fixated on Wonwoo, and he wore a look so broken and hurt beyond repair. Wonwoo’s gut twisted. Maybe he hadn’t been clear enough to Soonyoung back outside when they spoke. He’d make it clear now.

He turned to face him and stepped closer to him. “Why are you standing there and watching us like that?” he scoffed. “She doesn’t like you, I told you already, get over it.”

And maybe the cold sneer in his face did it, because the next thing Wonwoo knew, Soonyoung was grabbing onto his collar and slamming him against the lockers.

Wonwoo winced from the impact and squeezed his eyes shut. His ears and head rang from where they’d slammed against the metal.

When he opened his eyes, he was met with Soonyoung’s almond eyes, that normally sparkled with excitement and happiness. Those same eyes that Wonwoo had fallen for so many years back.

But right now, Soonyoung’s eyes glimmered with tears that fell in thin streams down his cheeks.

“I thought we were friends,” he choked out.

Wonwoo pressed his lips together in a thin line. He breathed through his nose and did whatever he could to stop his face from contorting and giving away the truth.

“I never, saw you as a friend,” he said. 

And that was the truest thing Wonwoo had said all day.

He shoved Soonyoung off of him, and made his way down the hallway.

“Wonwoo, Wonwoo stop!” Sana called out after him as he rounded the corner and walked down the stairs. “What the hell was that?! What did you tell Soonyoung?”

Wonwoo stopped at the base of the stairs and turned around to face her.

“I told him that we kissed.”

“But that’s not…” Sana frowned. “That’s not what happened. Y-you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he said. “What you did to Soonyoung was really messed up. I hope you apologize to him, and never do something like this again. I’m still angry at you for what you did you know? But I guess… thanks for giving me an easy way out.”

“An easy way out?” She looked, completely lost and confused. “What does that mean? Why did you lie to him like that?”

Wonwoo sighed and turned away. “It’s not really any of your business. But for my sake, don’t tell him the truth.”

“Wonwoo…”

“Just promise me you won’t tell him,” he gritted.

“O-okay,” Sana said, her voice barely audible. “I promise.”

“Good.”

That pressure can Wonwoo thought of earlier? It was finally large enough that he could feel it inside him, expanding further and further, as he walked out into the pool during lunch break.

He hoped it wouldn’t burst.

He tried to focus on other things to distract himself from the anxiety building up in his chest as he stepped into the pool area.

There were students wearing their school colours that were filing into the bleachers, and the school’s badger mascot was also bouncing around.

His coach had just approached him, sounding upset about how he missed today morning’s practice. Wonwoo could only vaguely nod and throw out a quiet, meaningless “sorry”, before he made his way to his swimming lane.

He pulled his goggles over his eyes with a snap and stood beside his swimming block. He glanced over beside his lane and saw Soonyoung. He was focused, staring out at the pool and not sparing him a glance.

Wonwoo looked to his other side, towards the bleachers now.

He saw his coach first, at the front. And then he saw Sana, sitting alone among the students rather tensely. And finally, he caught sight of his brother— looking right at him, and his stomach instantly dropped.

Wonwoo rarely thought about the fact that him and his older brother went to the same school. Because they were separated by a grade, and considering how many students were at the school, it was rare for them to see each other until they got home.

But this was definitely the first time that Wonwoo felt sick to his stomach seeing his brother at school.

It served as a reminder to him— of what happened over the weekend, and how Junsu was the only person in this school that knew his secret. He could do whatever he wanted with this information. He was already repulsed by Wonwoo as it was; he didn’t have to _keep_ it a secret.

With that thought ringing through his head and making his chest even tighter with anxiety, the whistle blew for them to get up on their swimming blocks. Wonwoo shakily pulled himself atop there. He crouched down in starting position, and stared down at his arms that were visibly shaking even though he was tightly grasping onto the ledge.

He looked down at the blindingly blue pool water that was about a meter below him, and then tilted his head to the side to glance at the bleachers once again.

It was as though whatever happened next, happened in stop motion frames. It was like a slide of pictures cutting and flashing through his head.

One second Junsu was standing there, and then the next he was turning towards the exit.

The swimming pool lights seemed to glare all too brightly as Wonwoo frantically darted his eyes from the pool to his brother.

Everything that happened the past few days came rushing back. His mother’s eyes full of worry and disappointment, his father’s words saying he needed to be fixed, and his brother’s disgusted eyes— they all clouded his head.

Even as Junsu’s figure grew further and further away from his line of sight, his face still flashed through his mind. He saw Junsu’s cold eyes from the bleachers just moments ago, then those same eyes at the dining table from 2 days ago— and it felt as though something inside of him was snapping.

His whole entire life could be flipped upside down, and his own brother wouldn’t care. He saw Wonwoo as nothing but trash. Disposable, and useless. And his father and mother probably viewed him the same way. Soonyoung now hated him too and he honestly deserved it. And worse of all: Wonwoo hated _himself._

It came like a sick moment of realization to him, just how much he hated every inch of himself, for being the way he was. Wonwoo was merely a burden to everyone around him. He was a complete nuisance who couldn’t even hold onto one friend.

All sound around him turned into white noise, and his ears rang like a bad case of tinnitus.

A deafening splash of water cut through the ringing, and he snapped his head upright, only to see everyone else already breaking through the surface of the pool.

He was still crouched and trembling at the ledge of his block. He hadn’t even heard the starting whistle.

Frantically, Wonwoo dove into the pool after everyone else, and started driving his arms through the water.

There was none of his usual finesse in his movements, and for the first time in Wonwoo’s life: he felt the drive of the water surge against him, rather than propel him forward.

Wonwoo gasped for air when he tilted his head to the side for a breath, and all at once it was as if all the air had been sucked out of his lungs and he could no longer breathe.

His arms flailed and slapped against the water uselessly and he stopped swimming.

Wonwoo pulled himself upright and began gasping in the water. His heart was slamming against his ribcage, and he could barely breathe. He tried to touch the ground, forgetting he was in the deep end. His head ended up going underwater and the terrifying, suffocating feeling clawing through his chest only grew stronger.

He broke through the surface of the water with a gasp, and flailed his arms and legs about trying to hold on to something, _anything_. His hands caught onto cool plastic and he guessed it must be the lane divider. His vision was blurred and he couldn’t tell if it was because of water, or tears in his eyes— but everything around him was trapped in a blurry haze and his chest felt as though it could burst any second.

He could hear a whistle and yelling in the background, though everything came through muffled and filtered.

Oh god, was he having a heart attack? In the middle of the pool? In front of _everyone_ like this? Wasn’t he too young to have a heart attack? What was going to happen to him, was he going to die?

Wonwoo’s short pants of breaths grew sharper and more frantic. The world around him spun and the dizziness made him lightheaded. He needed to get out of here. He needed to get out of this pool. If he passed out in here, he could drown.

His frantic thoughts momentarily slowed down as the sound of splashing cut through the ringing in his ears.

The next thing Wonwoo knew, a person was guiding his hands to this bright red foam device, and he was clutching this floating object and being pulled along the pool lane.

As he was pulled out of the water, he could see the feet of people gathered in a crowd near him, murmuring and someone barking loudly for everyone to clear the area.

Everyone could see this.

Maybe some were even recording him.

He clutched his chest tighter, and his breaths felt like they were getting shorter with every passing second. His arms and legs tingled and thrummed like they were going numb.

“Wonwoo,” his swimming coach called out to him, as his face now came into view. He was crouched down in front of him and he seemed frightened and worried to all hell. “What’s wrong son? What happened?” he asked.

Wonwoo’s face crumpled and tears began dribbling down his cheeks. He shook his head rapidly, “I- I don’t, I- don’t,” he said between gasps. He dug his fingers against the bare skin of his chest.

“Your chest? Is it your chest?”

Wonwoo nodded, clutching his skin even harder. “It hurts,” he breathed out.

“Your chest hurts?”

“Y-yes. It’s— it’s hard to breathe. I think, I think I’m dying,” he sobbed out, curling up into a ball on the tiled floor, letting out muffled, terrified sobs through his curled up arms.

“Wonwoo it’ll be okay. We’re calling the ambulance. You’ll be okay.”

He didn’t know how much time passed after that, but a towel was placed over him and his coach continued to murmur reassuring words to him. Those words were soon replaced by a man and a woman dressed in a dark uniform and vest. They calmly asked him questions of what happened while they placed him onto a stretcher.

As he was taken into the ambulance, he began to realize that the pain in his chest had greatly subsided, and although breathing was still difficult, it was a lot better than before. 

The paramedics explained that they had to assess the situation before they could leave to the hospital, and stuck square pads to his chest. From the corner of his eyes he could see the heart rate monitor moving and blinking numbers he couldn’t understand.

It didn’t take long for them to exchange a few words he still couldn’t quite understand, and then let Wonwoo sit upright.

“Wonwoo, you’re actually physically fine,” the woman paramedic said gently.

“I... I am?” Wonwoo furrowed his brows. He did feel sort of okay now. Exhausted, and shaky and sweaty— but no longer, well... whatever the hell it was that happened in the pool.

“Yes. What you were experiencing wasn’t a heart attack. It must have been a panic attack.”

“P-panic attack?” Wonwoo breathed out. He got in a whole ambulance, he really thought he was going to die today, and it was all just in his _head_? “But... but it felt so real.”

“Yes that’s normal,” she answered. “The two are actually extremely hard to tell apart. Especially from the outside and looking at symptoms. Unless you have proper equipment, you wouldn’t truly be able to differentiate it with a heart attack.”

“Oh....”

“Have you ever experienced one before?”

“No,” Wonwoo shook his head.

“Then all the more reason that you couldn’t tell.”

After they let him rest for a little while longer and try to get his bearings again, the paramedics asked him a few more questions and gave some words of advice, before driving off.

Wonwoo went straight to the principle’s office after that. Apparently they hadn’t been able to reach his parents and Wonwoo deflated in relief. He told the principle that he was actually fine, and that he could contact them himself.

Of course Wonwoo didn’t contact them.

He didn’t want them to find out. He had already caused such a ruckus with them finding out his secret, he wasn’t ready for another fiasco. He just wanted to stay out of trouble.

But somehow, trouble always seemed to follow him.

After that incident, what had once been like Wonwoo's second home, his comfort place in the universe— now filled him with absolute dread.

He could no longer stand the sight of the water. Whenever he so much as _saw_ the pool, it made him feel sick to his stomach.

After four whole days of skipping practices, he finally decided to enter the pool despite the discomfort.

When the rest of the swim team had left from after school practice, he made his way towards the crystal blue water in his swimming shorts. His coach was still in the athletic office and would probably come lock up soon.

Gathering all the courage he had in him, as well as the ever present feeling of wanting to puke— Wonwoo lowered himself into the lane he usually swam in.

His heart was already racing as he clutched onto the ledge.

After a minute or two passed, Wonwoo took a deep breath and let go of the ledge at last. Yet the moment he was no longer holding onto something, and treading on his own, the fear that sat underneath his skin like a dormant volcano— started simmering and bubbling.

The panic attack from days ago played through his head as he looked down at his hands and feet swishing back and forth in this familiar pool with its shining blue tiles that lined the floor. He could see his hands quivering even through the sparkling clear water.

The scent of chlorine filled his nose and the back of his neck broke out into sweat despite the cool touch around him.

This time, it was as though he could feel the sensation of a panic attack slowly creeping up on him. They were like hooks of anxiety and dread clawing its way upwards from the pit of his stomach, and his heart was already speeding up.

It was familiar, and deadly. And the mere thought of having that same experience again, terrified him.

With one last glance at the water around him, he yanked himself out of the pool.

He could no longer do this.

It took him at least five minutes of curling up against the closest wall to calm himself down.

Then with shaky steps, Wonwoo changed into his clothes and headed to the athletic office.

When he entered the office, his coach blinked up at him in surprise from the files he was sorting through.

“Oh Wonwoo!” he remarked. “I was actually thinking about you! Are you ready to come back to practices like usual?”

Wonwoo pursed his lips. “Um well...” he frowned. “I came here to talk to you about that.”

“I’m quitting swimming.”

The words tumbled out of his lips at dinner that night. Although he said it calmly, the words took the shape of big, angry red bolded letters that sat in the middle of the dining room table, in front of his family.

His mother’s face transformed from calm, to absolutely horrified in a matter of seconds and his brother turned to look at him stunned— all the while his father didn’t lift his head.

“B-but you _love_ swimming,” his mother said at last, breaking the deafening silence in the room.

“No. I… I don’t.” Wonwoo tried to keep the wobble out of his voice when he said these words. “I liked it before. But over time, I just stopped enjoying it. I only kept doing it because I was good at it. And it made you two proud of me,” he whispered.

His mother’s pupils quivered in shock. “Wonwoo—”

“What’s the meaning of this?” his father interrupted. His voice was a deadly, eerie sort of calm. Then all at once, he slammed his chopsticks down onto his dinner plate with such force it made the table shake. “What are you playing at huh?!” he yelled.

He winced at the sudden noise. His father’s face was red and crumpled in anger.

“Wonwoo do you think this is a game? A joke?” he said.

“N-no! I just... I...”

“How did we get such a problem child like you?” his father seethed, and Wonwoo shrunk in his seat.

“Do you see your brother causing this much trouble for us?!” he started yelling. “He got admission to a top college, is getting perfect grades while keeping up with all his extracurriculars. Meanwhile what about you? What about all those scholarships you’re being considered for too? You want to throw all that away?! Aren’t you old enough to know better than this? It’s time to stop being so selfish!”

Wonwoo’s ears echoed while his father continued on his tangent. He accused Wonwoo of being an attention seeker, and then started blaming him for the way he was. And then his mother started muttering about how she didn’t raise him properly, and blamed _herself_ for not spending enough time with him as a child, and that’s why he turned out like this.

“Do you know how much money we’ve spent for the best private coaches for you all these years?” his father spat out. “You think that cost nothing? You have no sense, no value of anything! Is it fun to waste your parents’ money like this?”

“I’m sorry,” Wonwoo whispered. “I wasn’t... I wasn’t trying to do that. I just, I realized don’t enjoy swimming anymore and—”

Before Wonwoo could even finish his sentence, his father stood up with a screech of his chair and raised his hand. Without warning, an intensely sharp and bruising pain spilled over his right cheek. The slap was so hard, Wonwoo’s head was knocked to the side, and the sound seemed to echo in the dining room.

Tears instantly pricked Wonwoo’s eyes from the pain and began dribbling down his cheeks.

His father slowly lowered his hand and his figure created a shadow over Wonwoo. “It’s time to wake up and get back to reality, understand?” he said tightly.

Wonwoo bit his lips, not bothering to reach up and wipe his wet cheeks. He tried to ignore the burning pain from where he’d been hit.

He only nodded weakly, and wished to disappear.

***

“…And that’s how I ended up here,” Wonwoo sighed. “My parents don’t know about the panic attack. Of course my brother heard about it from the rumours floating through school, but I begged him not to tell them. My mom and dad fought for weeks about what to do with me. My dad wanted to send me to conversion therapy, but my mother was really against that. She said I should focus on swimming again before anything else. They sent me here because growing up, my aunt was my biggest swimming inspiration and all that.”

“Oh,” Mingyu said quietly, refusing to meet Wonwoo’s eyes for some reason. He was so oddly silent and Wonwoo was surprised by this reaction— or lack thereof.

It’s not as if Wonwoo wanted pity or something, but he expected a bit more than just, _‘Oh’_.

After a while Mingyu finally said, “Can I ask what conversion therapy is? You mentioned it before too, but I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“O-oh… well um, I’m not sure what it is exactly, but some kids get sent to the special therapy if they’re gay,” Wonwoo said. “And people try to well… _fix_ them.”

“Fix?”

“Make them straight.”

Mingyu furrowed his brows, seemingly puzzled by this. “Is that even possible? Does it _work_?”

“I was too wimpy to search it up. Who knows.” Wonwoo said. “But I… I have heard stuff about those therapies in the past.”

“What kind of stuff?”

“In the news… bad stories. Like about kids committing suicide after attending those.”

“And your dad wants to send you to _that_?” Mingyu asked in disbelief.

“I guess...”

“That’s fucked up.”

Wonwoo could only weakly shrug at that. He didn’t want to think about it anymore— or think about the prospect of attending one in the near future. It terrified him.

With the towel still wrapped around his shoulders, he got up.

“Anyway, I’m gonna go change out of my clothes now. Um, thanks for listening Mingyu,” he said with some finality, wearing a tiny smile on his lips. “I think I needed that.”

“You’re welcome,” Mingyu mumbled in response, though he still didn’t meet his eyes. Wonwoo decided not to question it. He figured that Mingyu must simply be tired or something, and he would go back to his annoyingly loud and flirtatious self soon enough.

With a nod, Wonwoo turned and headed up to his room.

He changed out of his damp clothes into his favourite warm, oversized sweater and sweatpants. He exhaled in relief as he sat on his bed. He was relieved that he managed to tell Mingyu everything that happened without any issue. He didn’t tear up even slightly, and his voice remained clear and controlled the whole time. And above all, it was like a heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

A few knocks on his door startled him out of his comfort. He sat up straighter and said, “Come in.”

Mingyu pushed open the door and stood at the entrance. “Can I sit?” he asked, staring at the ground

“Y-yeah… sure.” Wonwoo shuffled over on his bed, and Mingyu sat sideways at the edge.

After a few awkward seconds of silence, he finally turned to look at Wonwoo. His eyes were dark and unreadable. He’d never seen Mingyu like this before.

“What is it?” Wonwoo asked.

Mingyu didn’t answer. Instead he swung his legs up onto the bed, and laid down. He pulled his knees up and hunched up his shoulders. He looked small like this— all curled up against Wonwoo’s side, despite being an actual tree. Suddenly Mingyu shifted closer to him, and his hands came up to his lap to clutch the hem of his sweater.

Wonwoo looked down at him for a few seconds in confusion.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

Again, there was no answer— but it was then that Wonwoo noticed the way Mingyu’s shoulders were shaking, and the tiniest, quietest sniffles filled the air.

“H-hey… are you… _crying_?” Wonwoo asked in disbelief. “Mingyu, what’s wrong?”

Mingyu released the grip on his sweater and reached out blindly to grasp onto Wonwoo’s closest hand. He clutched his fingers and brought it against his chest. By now, Mingyu’s sniffles had turned into quiet sobs.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s just… it must’ve been so hard for you.”

Wonwoo blinked in stunned silence. Was this kid that he’d known for a little over 3 days… _crying for him?_

“You must’ve felt so, _so_ alone,” Mingyu sobbed harder. 

Before he could question himself, he slowly lifted his free hand and placed it over Mingyu’s dark locks of hair. Wonwoo was at a loss for words as he gently patted down his hair. Mingyu didn’t move away from the touch or get up. Instead, he only clutched onto Wonwoo’s hand tighter.

“I… I’ll make sure,” Mingyu whispered, voice raspy with emotion. “I won’t let you be so alone anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A pretty long chapter~ feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments (yes some of these events are based on my own personal experience).
> 
> Also, -disclaimer- I don't have a phobia, so I did my research as best as I could. Still, I apologize if there are any inaccuracies. Here is some further background information:  
> A phobia is an overwhelming and debilitating fear of a certain stimuli (object, place, situation, thing), that illicits an exaggerated or unrealistic sense of danger. Phobias falls under the category of anxiety disorders, and panic attacks are commonly associated with them. While some phobias develop in childhood, most seem to arise unexpectedly, usually during adolescence or early adulthood. Their onset is usually sudden, and they may occur in situations that previously did not cause any discomfort or anxiety.  
> Although Wonwoo is not officially diagnosed (yet), in this story he developed a phobia of drowning, and being in water (particularly pools). Even being by the water/near water makes him very uneasy.


	5. Shoaling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo makes an important realization. And he also manages to hurt Mingyu along the way.

Something shifted in Wonwoo after he told Mingyu about everything that happened in his junior year.

He felt so much _freer_.

He could now even admit to himself that he was only irritated around Mingyu because he was physically attracted to him. After all, with a face and body like Mingyu’s, who wouldn’t be attracted to him? It was a normal reaction, but it didn’t stop from shame creeping into Wonwoo like a knee-jerk reaction.

Quiet, ugly thoughts kept tiptoeing into the back of his mind, like how his family resented him for being this way, and a deep rooted part resented _himself_ for it.

But Mingyu? He was the first, and only person outside his family that knew that he was gay— and he didn’t think badly of him at all.

He truly, genuinely seemed to care for him. And he didn’t treat Wonwoo like there was anything wrong with him. It’s like he actually thought Wonwoo was worth something as a person, rather than a burden that needed fixing.

With a lighter feeling in his heart at those thoughts, he began spending more time with Mingyu. Over the next few days, he’d go on walks and even more bus rides with him.

They went to the theatres, the mall, the park, the city streets full of restaurants with delicious food, and Wonwoo would spend most of the time explaining what everything was and how everything worked. From the bicycles and dogs they saw in the park, to the skyscrapers and billboards that surrounded them in their city adventures.

Some things, Mingyu was already familiar with. While other things, he needed a lot more explaining for: particularly the technology.

Mingyu kind of reminded him of the elderly when it came to this topic. But it made sense why. When Mingyu stopped learning about the land, it was before many of these technological advances even existed.

He’d always get so excited when Wonwoo let him use his phone, and teach him how to use all of the features on it. Mingyu was quite enamoured with the concept of the internet.

“You’re telling me, I can literally have a face to face conversation with someone on the other side of this _planet_ , by just hitting this button that says ‘video call’?!” he excitedly spoke, hands flapping around in enthusiasm as they walked back home from their trip out to get lunch (he also learned that Mingyu loved fast food).

Wonwoo pressed his lips together to hide his amusement.

“Yes that’s exactly what I’m saying Mingyu.”

“That’s insane!! Telephones and airplanes were insane enough, but this is on another level,” he gawked. “Oh and the fact that people from practically _every country_ , can write things and put up pictures in this same digital space thing… I don’t even know what it’s called…”

“It’s an app,” Wonwoo chuckled. “Some of these apps also have websites, and you can search them up on an internet browser. I told you what that is remember? Can you name any?”

“Yeah. Google chrome. Safari. Internet Explorer but that’s dead now, rest in peace.”

He laughed at that, and Mingyu grinned at him, seemingly pleased with himself.

“It’s cool right?” he said. “To be connected with everyone like this?”

“Yeah it is,” Mingyu grinned. “Beats the painfully long days of sending and receiving letters just to get news about the nearby kingdoms. I’ve never really known what’s going on with merpeople in the other side of the world… unless it’s something big. Like a war.”

“You guys have wars too?”

“Of course,” Mingyu shrugged. “I guess no matter where you’re from… something about people always being so drawn to violence.”

“That’s shitty.”

“It’s inevitable,” he scoffed. “Besides where do land people think they get all their tropical storms and big typhoons?”

Wonwoo came to an abrupt halt and stared at Mingyu in stunned silence who stopped a few feet ahead and turned around to look at him.

“What?” he asked.

“You’re kidding,” Wonwoo said.

“Not at all,” Mingyu shrugged. “I mean whatever you people study of how weather works is probably true, don’t get me wrong. But merpeople’s emotions are deeply connected to the ocean. Sadness, anger, happiness… they all triggers changes in the water, and so the weather gets screwed too. _Especially_ when mermen are fighting.”

“Oh… wow,” he mumbled in awe.

So perhaps Wonwoo wasn’t only teaching Mingyu things, but he was being taught a lot too. He heard all about merpeople’s lives in the sea, and only grew more curious to see it all in person. Mingyu said these giant ocean kingdoms were covered by a special mist, so land people couldn’t find them.

Yet despite how much they talked lately, Wonwoo couldn’t help but notice that it was never _too_ personal.

In his few weeks of getting to know Mingyu— like how he loved the colour green, grew obsessed with honey nut cheerios, couldn’t get up early in the mornings for the life of him, or discovered a love for riding bicycles (namely Bora’s which he’d borrow almost every day. Teaching him how to ride it in the first place was a whole other ordeal Wonwoo went through)— Mingyu rarely brought up his family, or friends, or why he ran away from home in their conversations.

But even though Wonwoo was curious about that, he didn’t want to overstep and suddenly make things awkward between them, so he simply kept quiet. Maybe once they felt close enough, he could gently try to bring it up. But for now he wasn’t ready.

He was ready for something else though.

With a decided mind, he walked up to Mingyu’s bedroom door on a sunny summer morning, and knocked.

Mingyu’s entire face lit up the moment he saw Wonwoo at the door.

“Can I come in?”

From some reason after seeing Mingyu’s smile, he couldn’t meet his eyes anymore. Wonwoo was oddly embarrassed as he shuffled into the room and settled down at the edge of his mattress.

Mingyu was sitting on his bed with a book in his hand.

“I found some of these in Bora’s shelf,” he explained when Wonwoo glanced down at the book. It was an old looking superhero comic having to do with mutants or something like that.

“Do you like reading it?” Wonwoo said.

“Yeah,” Mingyu grinned. “Also _technically_ , I could be one of these superheroes right?”

“Seriously Mingyu?”

“I mean, I already got the transformation and cool abilities that no regular land person can do... I just need a superhero name and find crime to fight.”

Wonwoo could only snicker at this. “Yeah okay, good luck with that,” he said.

“Stop laughing,” Mingyu whined. “It’s not as if I’m actually going to be a superhero— I’m just saying I _could_ do it.”

“Okay, well where’s the crime? Besides, on land your _powers_ are useless.” He made exaggerated quotation marks with his fingers when he said the word: powers.

“Whatever,” he pouted. “I still have my Siren power.”

Wonwoo laughed lightly and shook his head. He shuffled a little closer to Mingyu and turned to look him in the eyes.

“Mingyu...” he slowly started to say, “Do you um, want to go down to the beach together? After lunch maybe?”

“What? You really want to do that?” Mingyu’s voice teetered at the edge of disbelief.

“I mean... I just wanted to thank you for listening to me that day.” Wonwoo scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “I know you wanted to go see the ocean, so I wanted to do this with you.”

Mingyu’s eyes widened until they were shining, and sitting there under his gaze, Wonwoo felt like he could turn into a puddle. Before he could say anything else, Mingyu blurted out, “Can I hug you?”

Wonwoo was taken aback. “W-what?”

He shifted until they were sitting side by side at the edge of his bed. He leaned closer to Wonwoo and pouted. “Can I? Please?”

“Why?”

“Because I feel like it.”

He looked away in embarrassment. “I mean um... if you really want to I—”

All at once he was pulled into an embrace. His body was stiff as a board against Mingyu’s for a few seconds, until he slowly let his limbs relax.

Wonwoo found himself closing his eyes and resting his cheek against his shoulder. He couldn’t help but draw closer into Mingyu’s arms simply because it was so comfortable and warm. Mingyu gave good hugs, like he was investing all his love and energy into it. With hesitant hands, Wonwoo gently grasped the sides of his shirt to try and ground himself and not get lost in this feeling— though if you asked him, he was already pretty gone.

“You don’t need to be so kind to me you know,” Mingyu whispered against his ear. “I know you don’t like being near water.”

Wonwoo blinked his eyes open when they slowly parted. Mingyu’s arms remained around his back so there was barely any space between them.

Wonwoo smiled shakily. “No, I really do want to do this. Not just for you, but for me too.”

Mingyu looked down at him with such fond eyes that he hoped his face wasn’t going red.

“Okay, we can go then.”

When they got down to the beach , Mingyu kicked off his sandals and immediately dipped his toes in the water. There was barely anyone near them, considering these were private beaches behind people’s houses.

Mingyu was about a foot deep in the water when Wonwoo called from the shore, “Hey, so can you control when your legs change into your tail?”

He turned to look at him and shook his head. “No I can’t. They automatically change when I’m about waist deep in the water.”

“Ohhh, that’s cool.”

“Nah, it’s kind of annoying. I want to try swimming like how land-people do it.”

Wonwoo snorted. “It’s not that special don’t worry, kind of boring actually.”

“Are you kidding me?” he gawked. “And you said you’re one of the best swimmers in this state?”

“I _was._ ” Wonwoo dropped his eyes to the sandy white beach with a sigh. Yes of course he always loved swimming. Call it cheesy, but it made him feel free, and so... _alive._ There was nothing else he’d rather do.

But now everything was a confusing, muddled mess; and he didn’t even know if he had the passion left in him to try and fix himself and get back in the water. He knew that’s what his parents expected of him, but he truly didn’t know if he could fulfill their heavy expectations.

Wonwoo’s shoulders sagged in defeat. Before he could spiral a little further in his self-deprecating sense of doom however, a shock of cold water whipped against him.

He yelped and jumped back. Mingyu had one leg sticking out of the water and he was laughing. All at once he used the same leg to send another kick of water towards him.

“Mingyu!” he shrieked as the boy’s laughter filled the quiet afternoon air.

“I want to have a water fight!” he grinned.

“What? No! I don't want to get wet, you know that!”

Mingyu pouted, looking rather disappointed by his upfront rejection. He seemed to be in thought for a second, before his eyes lit up.

“Then can we go somewhere else?” he said.

“Go where?”

“We have to walk for a bit.”

Wonwoo shrugged. “Sure I guess... why not. Nothing better to do anyway.”

As they began walking, around twenty minutes later the beachside houses began disappearing along the coast. The grassy land beyond the sand, rose higher and higher until they were walking beside the face of a tiny cliff. Meanwhile, the sand grew so narrow there was barely a meter left of shoreline to walk along.

Wonwoo gulped nervously at the water that was so painfully close to them, and he pressed himself further against the cliffside.

Mingyu must’ve sensed his discomfort because he turned around and held out his hand. Wonwoo glanced at the upturned palm and then up at him.

“Just take my hand, we’re almost there, I promise,” he said. “I’ve swam along this area, you don’t need to worry.”

“B-but there’s barely any space left to walk,” he mumbled.

“See ahead of us,” Mingyu pointed at the bend in front of them. The cliffside and beach curved, and they couldn’t see what was past that area. “The shoreline will get wide again once we get around that bend. And we won’t go any further from there.”

Wonwoo nodded. As he slowly reached out for Mingyu’s hand, the sound of lapping waves cut through his ears and he froze.

“Just trust me,” Mingyu said softly once more.

With a heavy exhale and a slight nod of his head, Wonwoo clasped their fingers together.

His heart grew calmer as Mingyu gently led him around the bend. The strong and secure hold around his hand made him feel safe— like nothing bad would happen even as Wonwoo walked right along the water. It was a funny feeling; normally he would be losing his shit by now.

Just as Mingyu said, once they got around the bend, the beach expanded and was several meters wide again.

“We’re going there,” Mingyu said, pointing to a rocky pathway made of huge boulders a couple hundred meters ahead of them. The rocks led from the sand out into the water, like a pier.

Eventually they turned onto the rocky pier. Some of the rocks had gaps about a foot wide between them and Wonwoo could see the water splashing below which made him a bit nervous. Mingyu held his hand tighter in reassurance and led him out to the end of the pier.

There were a few rocks here that led downwards, like steps towards the edge of the deep ocean water. Mingyu hopped down to a lower rock with no hesitation. He turned around and looked up at Wonwoo who had stopped completely.

He could only shake his head rapidly.

“Oh come on Wonwoo,” Mingyu said, shaking the hand that he was holding. “Trust me you’ll _want_ to come down for this.”

He stared past Mingyu, down into the deep indigo water that bounced around in the sunlight. It looked like a pool of ink that held so many mysteries and unknowns. Tiny waves lapped against the lower rocks and he could distinctly hear the splashes.

“It looks deep,” he whispered.

“It _is_ deep, but I’m right here okay?”

“What if I slip in?”

Mingyu smiled, squinting slightly from the overhead sun that was shining right into his eyes. “You can stay on the rocks that aren’t slippery. And on the extremely unlikely chance that you _do_ fall in, I’ll immediately bring you back up.”

Wonwoo pressed his lips together and shuffled slightly forward toward the ledge.

“Here, I got you,” Mingyu said as he brought his free hand around Wonwoo’s waist to help him down.

It was in the moment that Mingyu’s hand tightened around his waist, that it struck Wonwoo just how absolutely _pathetic_ he’d become. How had he been a junior swimming champion literally months ago? 

“Alright I’m going in the water now,” Mingyu announced, letting go of him.

“W-what?” he asked, alarmed. “D-don’t! I...” his voice trailed off. He didn’t want to be left alone here, but did he want to seem like a child that needed babysitting? Absolutely not.

“Don’t worry, I won't go that far,” Mingyu reassured him as he sat at the edge of a rock and began taking off his pants.

Wonwoo looked away in embarrassment.

Mingyu took another few seconds to change out of his clothes, and then from his peripheral vision, he could see him dive into the water. Wonwoo turned back around to see him coming up to the surface, and his tail shimmered and glowed in the water.

“So why did you want to come here?” Wonwoo finally asked. He shivered a little and brought his knees up to his chest, curling up into a ball as gusts of wind from the ocean blew by. He’d been enduring the winds this whole time since they’d been moving around and walking, but now sitting here on this rock, he was getting quite cold.

“You’ll see soon,” Mingyu said. “Also, if you’re cold, you can take my outer shirt.”

Wonwoo glanced over at Mingyu’s clothes that he’d neatly folded up on the rock beside him, keeping it safe from getting wet. He grabbed the plaid flannel shirt that Mingyu was probably talking about. The sleeves drooped over his fingers, being a size too big for him— not that he minded. The flannel was warm and faintly smelled like Mingyu, which normally unsettled him because he carried the scent of the sea. But he was getting used to it.

He watched Mingyu dive below the water, his tail glimmering in the sunlight as it rose out of the azure sea and dipped back down. Wonwoo’s body constricted with nerves from being left up here alone and he clasped his arms tighter around his knees.

The anxiety quickly subsided when Mingyu came back up a few seconds later, and gave him a wide smile plus thumbs up. He then spun around and brought his hands up to his lips like he was about to whistle. He waited for the whistling sound, but nothing came— instead Mingyu came bounding back to him.

“Here they come,” he said with a grin.

“Huh? Who’s coming?” Wonwoo asked.

Before Mingyu could respond, splashes rang through the air and he snapped his head up.

His jaw nearly dropped at the sight of three gigantic fish creating arcs in the air as they swam in the direction towards them. And then when they got a little closer it struck Wonwoo that these weren’t _fish_ , they were dolphins.

“Mingyu you do have ocean friends!” he blurted out. “You _are_ like Ariel.”

Mingyu just chuckled. “You still need to explain to me who that is— and I mean, I don’t know if I’d call them ocean friends? But if I call them they’ll come to play and stuff…” 

“So kind of like pets?”

“I don’t keep them, so not really.”

“Do merpeople have pets?”

“Yeah they do. Some keep seahorses and starfish.”

“Cool.”

He shuffled towards the edge of the rock to get closer to the water where the dolphins swam up to.

“Are you sure this is safe?” he asked, hesitantly bringing his hand out. He’d only ever seen people petting and playing with dolphins in videos, and they were usually trained and in facilities.

“Whenever I call for them, it’s the nicest ones that come so don’t worry,” Mingyu said.

“So all mermaids can call dolphins?”

“Yeah we do. We can call other types of sea animals too.”

“That’s so cool,” Wonwoo said in awe.

He gently touched one of the dolphins just above its snout. Its skin was rubbery and slightly slippery under his hand, and its eyes seemed to twinkle. He liked the way dolphins’ mouths curved up slightly so that it looked as though they were always happy.

The two dolphins that weren’t being pet seemed jealous of the attention their friend was getting and rose higher out of the water towards his hand. Wonwoo giggled as they opened their mouths and made little squealing noises. He lifted both his palms this time and pet the two at once.

It was only when he blinked over at Mingyu that he realized he was being watched. Mingyu had his torso out of the water, elbow propped up on the rock next to Wonwoo. He rested his chin on his palms as he stared at him with a fond look.

Wonwoo avoided his eyes and dropped his gaze to Mingyu’s deep tan skin that glistened with beads of water, before he turned away from him altogether.

“Thanks for bringing me out here,” he mumbled so quietly he wasn’t sure if it was even heard.

“We’re not even at the fun part Wonwoo,” Mingyu said with a smile in his voice. “Don’t you want to ride with the dolphins?”

“That would involve getting in the water...” he whispered.

“Yeah, I know.”

Wonwoo looked up at Mingyu who wore a soft and knowing smile.

“Watch, you hold the fin like this,” he said, motioning with his hands on the dolphin bobbing beside him. “And then you push your feet back slightly, and then...”

The dolphin whisked Mingyu in a small circle.

Wonwoo gulped, and he gripped his forearms tighter. He could now feel the slight precipitation and clamminess of his palms.

“It’s easy see.” Mingyu grinned widely.

“I... I can’t,” Wonwoo said.

“I’ll be right beside you the whole time,” he added more quietly.

Wonwoo looked down at his shoes with a shaky exhale. He finally let go of his knees from his chest and planted his butt firmly on the rock. Slowly, he undid the laces on his worn out blue sneakers and rolled off his socks.

He could sense Mingyu’s eyes on him as he tucked his socks into his shoes and set them to the side. Carefully, he stretched down his legs and let them dangle off the rock and dip into the water.

The water was cold against his skin, and for some reason made his heart tighten.

“This is it. This is all I can do,” he said with an exhale.

“I understand,” Mingyu answered with a smile, though there was a hint of melancholy in it this time.

After that, Mingyu swam around with the dolphins longer, all while Wonwoo watched him from the rock and let his feet gently sway and swirl around in the water. He couldn’t help but smile as he watched Mingyu create arcs in the air as he played around with dolphins.

Somehow he forgot the tightness in his chest as the minutes ticked by— and even better, he forgot just who he was. It was like everything clouding his mind was melting away altogether.

Eventually Mingyu pulled himself out of the water and put on his clothes.

“Next time I should bring a towel” he grunted as he struggled into his shorts, and Wonwoo couldn’t help but laugh.

On the walk back home Wonwoo eventually came to a halt behind his aunt’s house. His mind had been running through everything that happened today.

Mingyu stopped ahead of him, and turned around. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I’m sorry,” Wonwoo whispered. “I couldn’t go in the water.”

“Wonwoo...”

“I feel like I always let everyone down, including _you_ now,” he said.

“Wonwoo... what are you even saying?” he shook his head. “I only asked for you to come in the water, because you always stare at it like you _want_ to. So I just thought maybe if I could make you feel safer there, it would be easier for you,” he sighed, running his hands through his damp hair. “But it’s okay you know? It’s okay to not go in. I’m not _expecting_ you to, so why would I be disappointed? I just want you to be okay, that’s all.”

“Really?” he said in a meek voice as Mingyu stepped closer to him.

“Yes of course,” he said when he was a foot away from Wonwoo. “The fact that you went there with me at all, and saw the dolphins and everything, I...” his voice turned imperceptibly softer, “I’m proud of you.”

Wonwoo’s heart seemed to momentarily stop as Mingyu reached up and gently patted his head.

He couldn’t remember the last time someone told him they were _proud_ of him. After a while, even when he won all his races it was just: “good job, but we need to get your times a little shorter”.

Wonwoo’s gaze wavered on Mingyu— on his bright almond eyes, on the gentle upward tug of his lips, and the way his hands felt on his hair.

“Hey guys!” a familiar voice cut through his thoughts, and Mingyu retracted his hand.

An emptiness automatically encased him, and he wanted to grab his palms and place them back atop his head.

His chest ached with an odd, unidentifiable emotion. Yet at the same time, Wonwoo knew that this feeling was unmistakably familiar to him. It was similar to how he used to feel with _Soonyoung_ sometimes.

Before Wonwoo could go over the insanely confusing thoughts suddenly spinning through his mind, Mingyu greeted the person approaching them.

“Hey Seungcheol,” he said.

He looked up to see the neighbour they’d met all those days ago.

“Hi Mingyu and... it was Wonwoo right?” Seungcheol tilted his head and smiled at him. Wonwoo shuffled a little to the side, to partially stand behind Mingyu.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, glancing down at the sand.

He didn’t know what it was about this Seungcheol guy that intimidated him, and made him want to hide behind Mingyu. Was it because he was the first gay person Wonwoo had ever met? But now he knew Mingyu and his own freaking aunt too, so that shouldn’t be it.

Or was it the fact that his widely charming and dimpled smile seemed to linger on Wonwoo a little longer than he was used to. Maybe he was just imagining it, but he swore Seungcheol’s eyes and smile slightly changed when they turned to him versus Mingyu.

“Cool, nice to see you again,” Seungcheol said. “Anyway, I was just handing out some flyers and wanted to know if you guys were interested.”

“Flyers?” Mingyu questioned.

Seungcheol held out a loose piece of paper with pictures of fireworks and a big bolded title that read, _‘Summer Bash’_.

“I’m volunteering at the fair that happens around here every year around May or June,” he said. “You guys should come by this weekend for it. It’s at the Rose Pier which is only like a 20 minute walk from here.”

“Thanks, yeah we’ll probably come!” Mingyu said.

Wonwoo looked up at him. “W-we will?”

“I mean what else do we have to do?”

“I... I mean I guess...”

“Cool, see you guys there! I’ll be at one of the game booths,” Seungcheol grinned, his twinkly eyes lingering on Wonwoo once more, before he waved and turned around.

They stood there in silence until he disappeared into the greenery behind his house.

“He likes you,” Mingyu suddenly said.

“W-what? What are you talking about? Who likes me?”

“Seungcheol.”

Wonwoo couldn’t help but let out a snort. “Yeah right.”

“I’m being serious.”

He squinted at Mingyu in confusion. “He doesn’t even know me. And he just went through a breakup.”

“I mean, he’s attracted to you at least. He kept checking you out.”

Wonwoo laughed in disbelief. “Why would he be attracted to me?”

“Um, cause you’re cute?” Mingyu smiled.

He gulped. “Don’t say things like that.”

“But it’s true.”

Wonwoo pressed his lips together. The sound of the ocean seemed to grow louder in his ears now like it was white noise, and he tried to drown it away.

“Hey,” Mingyu suddenly said. “You’ve never been with a boy have you? Even casually?”

“I haven’t.”

“Seungcheol might be good practice if you want.” Mingyu nudged him by the elbow.

“P-practice?”

“I... I mean, if you wanted I dunno, some experience with another guy, I’m sure he’d be more than willing to help,” he shrugged. “I went out for a walk yesterday morning, and saw a guy crawling out his bedroom window.”

Wonwoo was sure his face was burning as bright as a tomato at this point.

And for some reason, a new type of anger surged up from the depths of his chest, and the white noise from the ocean tides grew so loud it blocked all other sound. He didn’t know why he was angry at Mingyu all of a sudden, but his hands clenched into fists against the sides of his shorts.

“What the fuck do you mean Mingyu?”

“H-hey I’m just saying,” Mingyu shuffled away from him in surprise. “I... I know it’s complicated with you and all, but it’s perfectly normal at our age to...”

“Just shut up! This is literally none of your business!” he snapped.

“I wasn’t saying you had to!” he said defensively. “But if you _wanted_ to, you don’t need to be all sexually repressed you know?”

“ _S-sexually_ _repressed_?” Wonwoo sputtered out. “I didn’t ask you to be my therapist thank you very much! And why on earth would I want to do anything with a _boy_? That’s just... that’s... ” 

“That’s what?” Mingyu said, voice eerily sullen all of a sudden. His face quickly twisted from surprise to irritation and now he was glaring. “What is it? _Say it_ ,” he gritted.

“It’s wrong,” Wonwoo whispered.

And with that he turned around and walked by himself back up to his aunt’s house. He rushed up straight to his room and locked the door behind him.

He glanced down at his shaking hands, and realized he was still wearing Mingyu’s flannel shirt. Angrily yanking off the shirt, he lifted his arms to throw it away from him— but for some reason, he simply couldn’t let go of the stupid flannel.

He lowered his arms in defeat, and let out a sigh so heavy that an aching tiredness seemed to fill every muscle in his body.

He slid his back down the door until he hit the ground, and pulled his knees to his chest. He felt ten times shittier than just an hour ago, when he’d been with Mingyu by the water.

He brought the shirt up to his nose and closed his eyes, taking in its scent. Wonwoo pictured the push and pull of the tides and his feet swaying in the deep inky ocean. He pictured Mingyu’s sparkling smile as he leapt through the water with the dolphins.

The same feeling that he first felt with Soonyoung, and then earlier today with Mingyu, resurfaced in his chest.

Wonwoo snapped his eyes open, and he let the shirt drop to the floor.

_Oh, that’s what it was._

He finally understood the feeling.

He liked Mingyu.

He really liked Mingyu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had pretty bad writers' block, hence why the late update  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter!


	6. Upwelling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perhaps pushing down his rising feelings was simply a losing battle.

Wonwoo didn’t quite know what to do with his newfound feelings for Mingyu, now that he’d realized them. Either way, his struggle didn’t matter much at the moment, because Mingyu and him weren’t on a speaking basis anyway.

Ever since their argument day before yesterday, they’d been avoiding each other. At least Mingyu was avoiding him.

Wasn’t that bloody great? The moment Wonwoo finally grew some braincells and acknowledged his crush, the boy wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. But who could he blame for this except his own stupid self?

Two days passed with them dodging each other during meals or hanging out at all. And soon it was Friday, the first day of the fair.

Wonwoo had spent all his free time binge watching episodes of The Good Place. However by evening he was trying so hard to focus on the show, but all that spun through his mind was the fair. His eyes kept darting to the flyer that Seungcheol had given them that was laying on his bedside table, and then to the time on his laptop.

Eventually he yelled in frustration and slammed his laptop screen shut. He rolled around his bed with agitation until he stopped to stare at his ceiling.

Mingyu’s words about how Seungcheol would probably be more than willing to _help_ him if he wanted it, kept ringing through his head.

He grabbed his pillow from the side and screamed into it.

Maybe the pillow screaming helped him make up his mind, because Wonwoo shot upright after that.

He was decidedly going to the fair.

He changed into nicer clothes and grabbed a green bomber jacket before stepping out of his room. His eyes lingered on Mingyu’s closed door for a few seconds before he shook his head and headed out.

When he got to the fair, Wonwoo instantly felt out of place and self-conscious. Everyone was with their friends, or family, or dates. He hoped it wasn’t too noticeable that he was the only pathetic looking loner there.

He watched all the sparkling LED lights of the little fair rides and booths, and breathed in the scent of popcorn alongside the deep fried batter of corn dogs and sugary cotton candy syrup.

He couldn’t help but think back to when he took Mingyu on the bus to the mall for the first time. Mingyu was so ecstatic, he was practically buzzing and jumping around everywhere with his eyes shiny in wonder and excitement at seeing all these new things.

Wonwoo’s lips twisted up at the bitter sweetness of the memory. He could only imagine how Mingyu would be even more in awe if he came here.

He sighed as he walked through the game booth area.

“Congrats!” a loud and familiar voice stood out from the crowd around him, and he looked up in the direction of the voice.

Of course it was none other than Seungcheol congratulating a little child on winning at the basketball hoop booth he was working in. He handed the little boy a stuffed lion with a sweet smile, and then waved him and his parent’s goodbye.

Wonwoo hesitantly made his way near the booth until Seungcheol caught his eye and waved him over.

“Hey!” he said. “Mingyu didn’t come with you?”

“No,” Wonwoo shook his head. “He uh... stuff happened, I guess.”

“Oh I see,” Seungcheol gave him a sympathetic smile. “Well maybe he can come tomorrow? The fair goes on all weekend.”

“Maybe,” he mumbled.

Seungcheol took off the red ball cap he was wearing that matched with his bright red polo shirt uniform, and stepped outside of the booth.  
  


“Hey it’s a good coincidence that you came by right when it was my break time though,” he said brightly.

“Oh... yeah, that’s uh, good.” Wonwoo scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. He didn’t quite know what he was doing here, or why he even decided to approach Seungcheol.

Maybe a part of him was just curious if Mingyu was right, and Seungcheol really was, in some way, interested in him. And if that were the case, would Wonwoo _really_ be repulsed by the idea of being together like that with another boy? Would he hate it so much if he found out Seungcheol was on some odd level, attracted to him? This was one way to find out.

“Are you having fun?” Seungcheol interrupted his thoughts.

Wonwoo pressed his lips together in a thin line and shook his head. “Not really no.”

“Yeah figured. You didn’t look like you were,” Seungcheol chuckled.

“Well it’s kind of sucky when you come to a fair alone,” he shrugged.

“Okay that’s it,” Seungcheol said and took him by the wrist. “Come with me.”

“H-huh? Where?” he asked as he was led around the booth to the backside.

There were lawn chairs and a table set up back there with some snacks and other items on it.

“Ah here we are, the volunteers table,” Seungcheol said, crouching down and pulling out two beer cans from the cooler underneath the table. He held out a can to Wonwoo who could only stand and stare at it.

“Is this allowed?”

This elicited a laugh from Seungcheol. “No one around here really cares,” he said.

“Well I... I don’t really drink.”

“Aw come on. You need to loosen up man. Here sit,” Seungcheol said as he pulled over two chairs.

Wonwoo took a deep breath, and took the can from him. Gently, he lowered himself into a green lawn chair beside Seungcheol.

There was a crackle of metal and a quiet hiss as they opened their cans of beer. Seungcheol tipped his head back and took large gulps before he exhaled in satisfaction. Wonwoo looked at him and then down at his opened drink hesitantly. With a breath, he took smaller sips.

As they sat there drinking, the sounds of the crowd, and the music from different booths and the rides at the fair seemed to meld together in the background.

“So, how come you’re living with your aunt this summer?” Seungcheol eventually asked, slouching back in his seat and holding his drink against his knee.

“Well um... I’m a competitive swimmer.” Wonwoo answered.

“Like Bora was?”

“Yeah. I’ll be a senior next year, and there are some big recruitment periods... so I came here to train with her for all that, I guess...”

Wonwoo wasn’t comfortable telling the truth to people other than Mingyu. He didn’t want to go into a sob story about how he developed a fear of being in the water. Because saying _that_ , would only raise questions of what caused his fear in the first place. And honestly, he just wanted to erase everything that happened that day and everything leading up to it.

“Oh woah, that’s cool. Good luck dude!” Seungcheol exclaimed. If he sensed that Wonwoo was lying he didn’t point it out.

“Thanks,” he said. “So uh, what about you?” he added, trying to divert the conversation away from himself.

“What about me?”

“What are you doing after this summer?” he said.

“Well, I just finished high school and got accepted into a university out of the state,” Seungcheol said. “So I’ll be moving far, far away.”

Without even thinking, Wonwoo said, “Is that why you two broke up?”

This made Seungcheol still. His fingers tightened around his beer can and his limbs went taught. He pulled his legs closer together and stood up a little straighter.

“Yeah...” he said. “I mean, I kind of kept my acceptance a secret from him for a while, cause I was still unsure of what I’d decide. But then he found out from my other friends and got angry that I didn’t tell him. Honestly, I think I felt it was inevitable anyway. Not that that hurt less but yeah...”

He let out a hollow chuckle and his easy-going eyes dimmed.

“I see...” Wonwoo murmured. “You don’t even want to _try_ long distance though?”

“You know those rarely work out,” Seungcheol turned to him with a melancholic smile. “And isn’t it better to break away at a good part, than keep going till you have only shitty memories left of your relationship?”

“Does _he_ feel the same?”

“No.”

“So you let him go just like that?” Wonwoo said. “Without even trying? Cause you were scared... it would only get worse?”

“Yeah pretty much.”

“No offence Seungcheol,” he whispered. “But that’s kinda stupid, you know that?”

Wonwoo wasn’t the expert of love or relationships or anything— far from it. But he’d never quite seen heartbreak written in someone’s eyes like they were right now. And if someone was this pained over losing another person, wouldn’t it be easier to fight for them instead?

Perhaps it was a hypocritical thought… when all he’d ever done in his life was run.

“So what if it is?” Seungcheol looked away, his eyes glassy against the night. “I don’t want to ruin his college experience. So he can hate me sooner than later. ”

Wonwoo didn’t know what else to say to that. Instead he just smiled sadly down at his drink. He lifted the cool metal against his lips and took a few more gulps.

It was always so frustrating to not be able to understand other people. But Wonwoo was beginning to learn that being able to understand other people, was just as painful too.

Seungcheol’s words brought aching memories to the surface. Of how he’d made the boy he cared about the most, turn against him. He wouldn’t wish that on anyone else.

“Ah fuck,” Seungcheol hung his head back on the lawn chair and groaned. “Why are we talking about depressing stuff again?”

“I’m sorry.”

Seungcheol stared at him a for a few prolonged seconds of silence, until he stood up with a small smile. “Nah, it’s fine,” he said. “You wanna go do something actually fun?”

“Like what?”

“Mmm,” he cocked his head to the side, and reached down to pull Wonwoo up. “Ride the ferris wheel with me?”

“Oh um... uh... okay,” he answered as Seungcheol reached out to hold his hand. “I haven’t finished my drink though.”

”Ah it’s fine, just set it on the table. I can have it after my shift.”  
  
Wonwoo nodded slowly.

Seungcheol led them back out onto the main pathway to re-join the fair crowds, and he held Wonwoo’s hand firmly. His touch made confused emotions swirl through Wonwoo’s brain— like what he was doing here, or if this was even okay. Rather than the safety and security he felt when Mingyu led him by the water.

As they waited in the line for the Ferris wheel, Seungcheol seemed to drift away in thought. He blankly stared up at the wheel, and it was as though he was still lingering on their conversation about him and his ex.

“Hey,” Wonwoo nudged him softly.

“Hmm?” Seungcheol looked back at him.

“Sorry again,” he said. “If I made you upset back there by bringing that up, I didn’t...”

Wonwoo’s voice trailed off when Seungcheol stepped closer. He reached up and gently brushed his fingers against Wonwoo’s bangs.

“You’re cute,” he chuckled.

As if on reflex, Wonwoo hunched up his shoulders and broke any eye contact they had. “Are you hitting on me?” he said, trying to sound casual and teasing, though there were clear nerves lacing through his voice.

“Yeah I am,” Seungcheol said easily, back with a charming smile spreading across his face and creating dimples around his cheeks.

“Why?” is all Wonwoo could immediately think to ask.

“Cause you’re attractive,” he shrugged.

Wonwoo gulped and hoped the flashing and ever-changing rainbow lights all around them covered up the way he was probably blushing about now. “So is Mingyu, and you didn’t hit on him,” he pointed out.

“Yeah he is. But that’s cause he isn’t really my type.”

“But aren’t you still heartbroken and stuff?”

Seungcheol gave him a funny look. “It’s not as if I’m trying to start anything serious with anyone,” he snorted. “It’s just hookups. I don’t want to spend my last summer before I move, moping around.”

“H-hookups?” Wonwoo said, all at once thrown off by the word. He could feel his face burning and turning a more violent shade of red about now.

A small sly smile edged into the corner of Seungcheol’s lips. “What, were you interested?”

“W-what? Wonwoo stammered. “No of course not!”

“Of course not? Ouch.”

Wonwoo gulped and looked at Seungcheol who still wore the same smirk and was clearly just teasing. There was a beat of silence between them, before Wonwoo blurted out, “You’re really straight forward you know that?”

“What, does that make you uncomfortable?”

“I mean like...” He kicked at the sandy gravel beneath his shoes. “How do you even know if I’m gay.”

He startled when Seungcheol burst out laughing.

“I just mean like... do I... do I look like one?” Wonwoo mumbled.

"Look like what?” he laughed.

“L-like I’m, y’know, _gay_...” he said the last word nearly in a whisper, like he was scared of anyone hearing.

Seungcheol only seemed to double over in laughter harder at that, and he clutched his stomach until Wonwoo scowled. “Hey I’m being serious!”

Seungcheol shook his head and straightened his posture, letting out a few more soft chuckles. He stared at Wonwoo with a fonder smile. “Would you get upset if I said yes?”

“I... I dunno,” he sighed. “I just always tried to hide it. Like my parents don’t exactly support it, so... yeah.”

“You want me to be honest with you?”

“Um... yes?”

“I could tell you liked boys, the moment I saw how you looked at Mingyu,” Seungcheol said. “You’re not exactly subtle you know?”

“I... I wasn’t aware,” Wonwoo gulped. How was this boy he barely even knew, able to notice his attraction to Mingyu before he was even able to tell himself?

“Yeah exactly,” Seungcheol said matter-of-factly. “I mean I know you said your parents don’t support it, but I just think... the heart wants what it wants you know?”

Seungcheol looked away from him to step up the line, and Wonwoo absentmindedly followed. They were at the very front now, and their turn would come in a minute or two. Wonwoo looked up at the lazy spinning spokes of the lit-up, colourful wheel.

All he could suddenly think of was how Mingyu would want to go on the Ferris wheel with Wonwoo.

He wished Mingyu was here right now.

He wished he never said what he did to him those few days ago. Wonwoo knew it hurt him, but he couldn’t gather up the courage to apologize. Maybe because he couldn’t find it in him to apologize to _himself_.

But now Seungcheol’s words were set alight in his mind, and for once, he desperately wished he could be kinder to himself.

If the heart wanted what it wanted, and it was useless to try and control his heart— why did he beat himself so much over it?

Wonwoo slowly looked at Seungcheol, only to find his eyes already fixated on him.

He gave Wonwoo an all too knowing smile. And maybe he could read Wonwoo’s mind because he said, “You know, I won’t be offended if you leave right now.”

Wonwoo could only stare at him in silence for a few seconds, and then he ever so slowly backed out of the line.

“S-sorry,” he whispered.

“I don’t really mind.”

“Thank you. I’m gonna go now.”

“Mhmm. See you around Wonwoo.”

With a thump of his heart, and the aching desire to see Mingyu, he spun around. After taking a couple steps, he stopped and partly turned to look back at Seungcheol.

“Hey, by the way,” Wonwoo called out to him. “I know you said that your breakup was inevitable. But I think you’ll only regret it later. Just because you choose to let him go, doesn’t mean you can change your feelings like an on and off switch. After all... the heart wants what it wants right?”

Seungcheol blinked, his face inscrutable and bathed in the mosaic of fair lights.

Wonwoo smiled at him one last time, and took off down the crowded beach.

When he was nearly out of the fair area, a sign caught his eye in one of the last booths set up and he screeched to a halt. It was full of handmade art such as paintings, small sculptures, carvings, and jewellery— but Wonwoo could only fixate on the packs of sparklers that were being sold at the counter.

Without overthinking anything, he went over and bought a pack himself plus a lighter, and then he was running off again— this time down the streets of the coast.

He had to stop a few times, panting heavily. He hadn’t trained in a few months, ever since he quit the swim team actually, and it only really hit him that he was more out of shape than usual.

Eventually he reached his aunt’s house and bounded straight upstairs. When he got to Mingyu’s door, his steps slowed down dramatically and he shuffled closer to knock.

There was no answer, so he knocked again. Again, no answer.

On impulse, he reached down and turned the doorknob to find it was open.

He pried the door open and peered inside, into the darkness. Visible by the glow from the hallway light was Mingyu's unmade bed. He scanned the room to find it empty, until his eyes drifted to the glass doors of the balcony. The door was slightly open, and the black silhouette of Mingyu’s back stood against the imperceptibly lighter night sky.

This room was actually slightly bigger than Wonwoo's, but he purposely didn’t choose it because of that balcony. He didn’t want a lovely view of the ocean, or the sound of waves filtering through the thin glass whenever he woke up in the mornings.

Carefully, Wonwoo made his towards the balcony and knocked on the glass door. Mingyu shoulders jerked up, probably startled by the sound, before he turned around. His face was barely distinguishable in the darkness as they stared at each other through the glass.

Wonwoo was tempted to run away right then and there, but instead he took a deep breath and tentatively stepped outside, closing the door behind him.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hi.”

They stood in silence for a few seconds and Wonwoo racked his brain for how to start this conversation, and say what he wanted to say.

“You look like you went somewhere,” Mingyu spoke first and Wonwoo blinked at him in surprise.

“H-huh? Oh yeah, I went to the fair,” he said.

“Oh.”

“I uh, saw Seungcheol there.” He didn’t know why he felt like this was an important bit of detail he had to share, but as soon as he said it, he could catch the way Mingyu’s lips twisted into a frown. Or maybe he was just imagining it.

“You did?”

“Yeah...”

He didn’t understand the tense silence between them, or the expression Mingyu wore, but Wonwoo was almost tempted to ask if he was angry.

“Did you take my advice?” Mingyu asked. “About Seungcheol I mean.”

Wonwoo gulped. “No.”

At that single word, Mingyu’s figure seemed to visibly relax. His tense shoulders loosened, and he let out a soft exhale.

“Oh... good,” he said.

Okay, now Wonwoo was seriously confused. What about this situation made things ‘ _Good_ ’ exactly?

“Huh? What are you—”

Mingyu suddenly stepped closer and his words fell away.

“I’m glad,” he whispered and Wonwoo froze as he reached up to gently touch the crown of his head. Wonwoo could only stand there and look up at him in bewilderment.

“I kind of felt like an idiot after I said that to you,” Mingyu admitted. “Because that’s not how I feel at all.” And then he added more quietly, “I hate the thought of you being with anyone else.”

All at once, it was as though the air had been sucked out of Wonwoo’s lungs.

What was Mingyu trying to say here? Was it really what it sounded like? But how could he just say something like that? And so _easily_ too?

But taking one look into Mingyu’s eyes, there was some uncertainty and hesitation from his quivering pupils. Maybe this was Mingyu being brave— something Wonwoo hadn’t been in a long time.

“I’m sorry,” Wonwoo blurted out.

“Huh?”

“I’m sorry for what I said to you that day. I know it hurt you.”

“It’s okay,” Mingyu said. “I know it’s hard for you and—”

“It’s still not okay,” Wonwoo shook his head. “Even if it’s hard, I shouldn’t have said that.”

The corners of Mingyu’s lips curved up imperceptibly, and they stood in silence for a while. Eventually, Mingyu’s eyes trailed down to his hands and he asked, “Hey what are you holding?”

Wonwoo looked down at the package in his hands, thrown off by the abrupt change of topic. “Huh? Oh! Um, they’re... sparklers,” he said.

“Sparklers?”

“Yeah... they’re these little sticks you light with fire, and they well, _sparkle_ ,” he lamely explained. “Do you want to try them?”

Mingyu’s soft voice seemed to gain a surge of excitement as he said, “Oh! Can we?”

“Yeah of course,” Wonwoo smiled. “I brought them for you, cause you didn’t come to the fair.”

He opened up the pack and let 2 thin sticks fall into his hands. He handed one to Mingyu and took out the lighter he’d also bought.

“What’s that?”

“A lighter,” Wonwoo said, flicking its switch to cast a small flame. “It makes fire.”

Mingyu leaned towards him, eyes hovering above the flame. “It’s so tiny,” he whispered.

“Hold out your sparkler,” Wonwoo said.

Mingyu did as he was told, and he touched the lighter to the end of the stick. Instantly, golden sparks began crackling atop it. The sparks continuously popped up, fell, then vanished.

“Cool right?” Wonwoo grinned, watching Mingyu’s face that he could now see from the light. He was clearly in awe.

“Yeah.” Mingyu let out a tiny giggle as he began shaking around the stick. He was clearly having fun playing around with this new, foreign object, and Wonwoo couldn’t help but just watch fondly.

“Now press it to mine,” he said. 

They held the ends of their sparklers together like that, until the light transferred over to Wonwoo’s. When they separated, Mingyu breathed out a quiet “nice”, at the two glittering particles that broke through the darkness around them.

“Now watch this,” Wonwoo said. He lifted his arms and drew swirls in the air with the sparkler.

“That’s so cool,” Mingyu gasped.

“You try.”

Mingyu drew zig-zag patterns and laughed, making random scribbles in the air. After a couple seconds, his scribbles smoothed out and Wonwoo squinted to see what he was writing. Mingyu had made a glowing imprint of Wonwoo’s name in the air and turned to him with a small smile.

“Now write my name,” he said.

Wonwoo hesitated at first, and then slowly without making any eye contact, he wrote out Mingyu’s name. He was finishing the last letter when Mingyu said, “Oh, mine’s going out.”

He glanced over to see the small red ember of Mingyu’s sparkler reaching its end and the sparks rapidly growing tiny before dying out all the way.

“Yours is still going,” Mingyu pointed out.

“Yeah, because I lit yours up first.”

Wonwoo stilled and looked down at the shimmering particles that burned away the remainder of his stick.

“Hey can I ask you something?” Mingyu said softly.

“What is it?”

With a silent step towards him, Mingyu reached out and wrapped his fingers around Wonwoo’s, the same one with which he held the sparkler.

Wonwoo looked down at their hands. At the way Mingyu’s hands were far bigger and clunkier than his own slender, somewhat bony fingers. And there was a contrast to their skin tones. Even in the dim lighting, he could notice how much tanner Mingyu’s skin was to his own.

“Does this _feel_ wrong to you?” Mingyu whispered. He held Wonwoo’s hand tighter and advanced yet another step towards him, until the tips of their shoes were touching. It took everything in Wonwoo to stop himself from impulsively moving back.

He looked up at Mingyu, and his stomach did a swoop, kind of like the feeling you get when you reach the drop on a massive rollercoaster. Mingyu’s cheeks and nose were aglow, painted by the fragments of light left from his sparkler, and for some reason it made his heart pound.

If he pressed just a few inches forward, their noses would be touching... and then slightly more, their lips. The realization was dizzying and he sucked in a sharp breath. 

Then, slowly but surely, like a tiny flame of courage that he didn’t know existed in him— four words curled up to the edge of his mouth.

“It doesn’t… feel wrong.”

“I’m glad,” Mingyu whispered.

At last, darkness fell over them entirely and Mingyu gently released his hand. The burned out stick fell to the balcony floor with a soft clatter and Wonwoo took a deep breath, parting his lips.

“Mingyu I—”

A tingling chime interrupted all the words teetering on the tip of his tongue.

“W-what was that?” Mingyu asked, eyes wide and startled out of the quiet air between them. 

Wonwoo’s chest tightened.

“My phone.”

Both relief and disappointment surged through him at once. What would he have said to Mingyu if he didn’t get interrupted? The answers that popped up in his head scared him.

“Is someone calling you?”

“N-no...” Wonwoo frowned. He pulled his phone out of his pocket. “It’s a text,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. He could only stay frozen, and stare blankly at his phone screen where a single notification was visible.

A dreadful seed of anxiety planted itself in the pit of his stomach.

The text was from someone outside of his contacts— but he recognized the number all the same. Wonwoo was that pathetic loser that memorized this phone number off by heart.

**From: 960-615-1010**

_> Hey, can we talk?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked the chapter :))  
> there's nothing that frustrates me more than interruptions during crucial moments in stories lol


	7. Riptide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Between ferris-wheels and water tank escapades, Wonwoo becomes a little (a lot) braver.

**From: 960-615-1010**

_> Hey, can we talk?_

“Is everything okay?” Mingyu spoke up, his brows furrowed with worry.

Wonwoo’s eyes shot up from his phone.

“Y-yeah... it’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” he laughed nervously. “It’s just my mom asking me how I am,” he lied, turning off the screen.

Mingyu only stared at him, clearly suspicious and disbelieving. Still, he didn’t press any further and responded with a quiet, “I see.”

“Yeah um, sorry, I should actually go talk to her,” Wonwoo rushed out.

“Right yeah... okay,” Mingyu said slowly as Wonwoo was already backing away from him.

He just didn’t want to answer any questions, or take another look at the confused and almost fallen look on Mingyu’s face.

Wonwoo rushed back to his room and sat at the edge of his bed. His fingers repeatedly hovered towards the delete button of the text.

He kept reading the words over and over, wondering what there was to possibly talk about between them.

 _‘Why now?’_ a part of him wanted to yell.

Why was Soonyoung suddenly prying himself back into his world?

Wonwoo felt better these past two weeks here with Bora and Mingyu, than he had in all of junior year. And now Soonyoung’s text was throwing him straight back into that hellhole.

But at the same time, it struck Wonwoo just how much he _missed_ Soonyoung.

Seeing his text after months was much like a head long collision of being reminded that this was the boy he had been friends for years with. The same one who he saw nearly every single day, even on the weekends and breaks.

God Wonwoo just missed him so badly. He missed Soonyoung as his best friend.

But surprisingly, on the other side of the coin, he didn’t miss Soonyoung in the way that Wonwoo expected to.

He didn’t miss liking Soonyoung. Rather… he missed the _routine_ of liking him. He missed the disgusting normalcy of harbouring feelings for that boy for so many years. But when he shut his eyes and tried to imagine them together, like what he’d wanted and pictured for so long, he simply couldn’t.

Wonwoo was starting to realize that whatever feelings he’d held for Soonyoung all these years, they had somehow drowned away in his self-loathing.

If thinking about the person you liked, or maybe even _loved,_ only made you feel worse about yourself… perhaps the love could diminish or get muddled along the way.

No one told Wonwoo this before, but he understood it now. Maybe because of Mingyu.

Even though they had known each other for such a short time, Mingyu somehow saw so much of him— the good, the bad, the plain ugly. And the resentment Wonwoo felt for himself, that prickled underneath his skin for so many years: it eased away the more time they spent together.

 _‘Does this feel wrong to you?’_ Mingyu had asked him. And for the first time in his life, Wonwoo could say no. No, it didn’t feel wrong.

If his feelings for Soonyoung were ripping tides that tore him apart, or maelstroms he was trying to escape, Mingyu was the calm of the sea after a storm. He was the soft, scattered wreckage gently carrying him to shore, paired with a sense of relief from getting through the surge.

When he allowed himself to feel for Mingyu, his head wasn’t underwater, he wasn’t grasping for air as he sank further and further from the overhead sunlight.

And one thing Wonwoo knew for sure: as much as he wanted his best friend back, he just didn’t trust himself to not slip back under if he spoke to Soonyoung again. Not this soon.

He took a deep breath, and deleted the message.

Bora joined Wonwoo and Mingyu for lunch the next day, and Wonwoo was honestly glad.

It was kind of _awkward_ being alone around Mingyu all day. So having her between them was a relief.

Wonwoo simply couldn’t get over the fact that Mingyu told him he didn’t want to see Wonwoo with anyone else. And then held his hand, and asked if it felt wrong.

A part of him wondered if that entire scenario was all a fever dream. After all, a boy like Kim Mingyu, wanting him like _that_? Yeah right. It was ridiculous.

As for Mingyu, he wasn’t an open book today. Wonwoo didn’t know what was going on in his head at all. Mingyu was someone bolder and more straight forward than he could _ever_ be; yet there was only hesitation and uncertainty when he looked at Wonwoo today.

He could feel his lingering stares all day, whenever he thought Wonwoo wasn’t looking, and it was driving him insane.

A part of him wondered if Mingyu wasn’t doing anything, because he _regretted_ saying all that to Wonwoo.

He just wanted a straightforward answer. Which is why Wonwoo mustered up the courage that evening and determinedly stomped to Mingyu’s room.

“Come in,” his voice called when Wonwoo knocked on his door.

He swung the door open and found his mind blanked out as he stood in the doorway in pure silence.

Mingyu raised his brows at him questioningly.

“What is it?” he asked.

Wonwoo’s tongue was sloshy as he tried to get the words out. “I um... well I...” There was so many things he wanted to say to Mingyu right now.

_What did you mean by ‘I hate the thought of you being with anyone else’?_

_Does that mean you like me?_

_Did you even mean that?_

“Do you want to go to the fair with me?”

Mingyu blinked at him.

“You already went though.”

“I didn’t really have fun...” Wonwoo trailed off, leaving the _‘without you’_ unspoken at the end _._ “Plus, I don’t mind going again. I want to.”

“Alright then,” Mingyu smiled. “Let’s go.”

“So what are fairs up here like exactly?” Mingyu asked as they walked to their destination. “I can’t remember learning much about them from school.”

“Colourful. Bright. Fun.”

“Real descriptive,” Mingyu said sarcastically and Wonwoo playfully pushed him.

“You’ll see when you get there,” he said.

The moment they got there, Mingyu let out a small squeal.

“Oh my god, this is way better than what I imagined!” he yelled among the crowds that moved around them as they stood at the entrance of the fair.

Mingyu looked straight ahead towards the booths that lined the pathway, seemingly soaking in every corner of this place. He suddenly grabbed Wonwoo’s arm and shook him.

“Is that a _Ferris wheel_?” he gasped, pointing ahead while staring at him with large, doe-like eyes. He looked like Wonwoo had handed him all the wonders and joys of the universe.

“Yes Mingyu, that’s a Ferris wheel,” Wonwoo held back a laugh. “You know what they are?”

“I saw them in land people books and stuff, years ago.”

“How do you even have land people books down there again?”

“There are special chambers down there, with no water,” Mingyu explained. “They used to keep land people artifacts in them. But those chambers are closed off now. Before, merpeople would be allowed to visit them and use some items.”

“Oh, that’s pretty cool.”

It never crossed Wonwoo’s mind that merpeople had somehow built waterproof areas in their cities.

“Yeah it is.”

“So, are all the chambers closed off now?”

“No, not at all,” Mingyu said. “There are some chambers with totally different purposes. Those are still open of course.”

Wonwoo scrunched his brows together in question. “What kind of purposes?”

“Do you really want to know?” Mingyu’s lips curled up in a smirk. He quirked up an eyebrow at Wonwoo which made him frown.

“You brought it up, so um yes?”

“Well,” Mingyu said slowly, “the _mechanics_ can get quite different when you have legs versus a tail.” 

Wonwoo stared at him blankly, this conversation going over his head.

“Like. Some merpeople just think it feels better the way land people do.... you know,” Mingyu giggled.

The gears in Wonwoo’s head finally seemed to click into place, and his eyes widened. His cheeks grew hot, and he hunched up his shoulders in embarrassment.

“Mingyu what the hell!”

“What?” he laughed.

“Perv!” Wonwoo punched his arms.

“Ow, hey, you’re the one that asked!”

“Hmph,” he looked away, lips pulled in a displeased pout.

“Anyway,” Mingyu grinned and blinked his lashes at Wonwoo all innocently now. “Can we go on the Ferris wheel, can we, can we pleeease?”

He sighed, glancing over at the long line up at the wheel tonight.

“How about we do some other stuff first? We can go there when the line gets shorter.”

Mingyu sulked, but he still mumbled a quiet, “okay”.

“Hey come on,” Wonwoo nudged him by the elbow, “there’s other fun stuff to do at a fair than just going on the Ferris wheel you know?”

“Yeah, like what?” 

“Here, I’ll show you,” Wonwoo held out his hand this time.

Mingyu carefully eyed him, and then down at his upturned palm, before smiling a little too eagerly as he slotted their fingers together.

Mingyu’s skin was warm, and Wonwoo liked how gentle his hands were despite their big, clunky size. A buzz bloomed at the base of his stomach, swirling and whirling, kind of like those giant spinning teacups a few meters away from them.

Wonwoo could see the flashes of people screaming, and laughing, and some looking a bit bored (namely adults with their kids) in the colourful patterned teacups zooming around a small fenced compound.

“Let’s go on that,” Wonwoo blurted out, pointing with his free hand at the teacup ride.

Without waiting for Mingyu’s response, he tugged him over to the lineup of the ride.

It only took another minute for their turns to come on, and soon they were sitting in a baby blue teacup patterned with tiny white hearts.

“Don’t forget your seatbelt,” Wonwoo muttered, leaning closer to Mingyu and clicking the belt in place. With this proximity he could catch a whiff of Mingyu’s body wash, and it was unmistakably the same one that Wonwoo used.

And even though he should complain and just tell Mingyu to stop being careless and use his own shower products, he couldn’t help but relish in this detail. It was just so oddly domestic and— okay, his thoughts needed to shut up.

“Is it not working?” Mingyu’s voice made him look up.

Wonwoo jumped back, head spinning and flustered. He needed to stop acting like a creep sniffing Mingyu all the time.

“N-no, I got it,” he chuckled nervously. “See we’re both perfectly buckled in.” He pointed at both their seatbelts in indication.

“Cool,” he smiled.

The cups started moving slowly and Mingyu kept his head craned forward, eyes wide in fascination at the other cups moving in synchronized fashion.

The moment the ride accelerated into full motion and did its first spin, whipping forwards and then backwards towards the fenced compound circling the ride, Mingyu jumped with a tiny yelp.

“I-it felt like we were gonna crash,” he said, eyes wide.

“I know what you mean,” Wonwoo laughed. “The first time I went on these, I thought the same thing. But trust me, you’re actually nowhere near hitting the fence. It just feels like you are.”

On the second spin around the circular compound, Mingyu was less startled, only flinching slightly when their cup went near the fence, but otherwise wearing a bright grin.

Wonwoo couldn’t help but just watch him through the whole ride. His brilliant smile and laughter that bordered adorable giggles stood out against the buzz and blur of the colourful fair.

Wonwoo admired the way his dark locks flopped around in the breeze, and how his pointy, cute teeth were fully on display in happiness as they spun around. Everything about Mingyu was so... he was so…

The cups came to a slow, and Wonwoo lost his train of thought.

“That was so fun!” Mingyu was giddy beside him as they walked off the ride. “What do we do next?” He turned to Wonwoo with excited eyes, waiting for him to lead the way. If he was a puppy, he could surely see his tail wagging about now. 

Wonwoo hesitated. He wasn’t used to taking the lead, but with Mingyu’s hand in his, everything felt all right in the world. He wasn’t scared, and he wasn’t nervous, and in this exact moment he didn’t care that they were in public where everyone could see them.

“You’ll see,” Wonwoo just said with a smile, leading Mingyu further into the brightly lit darkness of the fair.

Soon they were sliding down a gigantic bouncy slide, giggling as Mingyu ended on top of him in a tangle of limbs at the bottom of the slide, which dropped into a pit of colourful balls.

They were eating sugary cotton candy and Mingyu wouldn’t stop babbling in amazement at how it _disappeared_ on your tongue (of course Wonwoo was tenderly watching him and wiping the corner of his mouth where a bit of the candy fluff got stuck).

They were taking silly pictures on the merry go round, and then playing a wack-a-mole game at one of the fair booths.

“This is hard,” Mingyu sulked in defeat at said booth when he failed all 3 rounds of the game.

“Here let me try,” Wonwoo stepped forward, paying the employee for another run of whack-a-mole.

Turns out, Wonwoo was pretty damn good at this game, and he couldn’t help but stupidly smile as Mingyu squeezed him into a bone crushing hug because he had won.

“Which one is your favourite?” Wonwoo asked him, pointing to the big stuffed animals that hung up on the canopy of the booth.

“The puppy!” came Mingyu’s immediate response.

Wonwoo smiled and asked the employee to give them said toy.

“For you,” he mumbled, holding out the brown, floppy eared stuffed animal to Mingyu.

He looked away in embarrassment when Mingyu’s eyes shone brightly. Wonwoo glanced back to see him taking the stuffed animal all giddily and wrapping his arms around it. He nuzzled his nose against its ears, and Wonwoo knew he had a grossly fond look in his eyes about now.

“The line of the Ferris wheel got shorter,” he eventually said, pointing ahead of them. “You want to go on it now?”

“Yes yes!” Mingyu nodded rapidly.

Without hesitating, he reached out and grasped Mingyu’s closest hand. He led him through the crowd, and he didn’t let go as they waited in the line.

When it was their turn, he was half expecting Mingyu to let go and sit on the opposite end of the Ferris wheel box from him; instead he stepped inside first and pulled Wonwoo along to sit right beside him

As the wheel started moving, Wonwoo kept sneaking glances at Mingyu who had turned away from him to stare out the window.

Seconds passed in silence, and he could only imagine Mingyu’s face staring at the fair booths and people growing tiny below them as the ocean panned out in all its vastness.

The Ferris wheel came to a halt with a gentle rock. Mingyu jumped with a sudden tiny noise and squeezed their hands together tighter.

Wonwoo chuckled. “You okay?”

“Why did we stop?” he whispered.

“They’re probably just letting people off, and picking up the next people in line.”

“O-oh...”

Mingyu shuffled even closer to him, until their thighs were pressed together. He was sitting still and silent, no longer staring out the window.

“Um, you okay Mingyu?”

“I-I don’t think it’s right for a sea creature to be in the sky.”

Wonwoo looked at him in confusion. Mingyu’s muscles were tense and his pupils wavered slightly.

“Are you...” Wonwoo tilted his head, “ _scared_?”

“It was fun at first, but then I looked below, and I realize we’re just really _really_ high up okay?” Mingyu blurted out.

“So you’re scared of heights.”

“You’re called land-people for a reason,” Mingyu scowled. “Why do you need to go so high up in the air?”

Wonwoo bit his lips to stop himself from laughing at his whining.

Before he could say anything in response, their Ferris wheel cart creaked and began moving with a whirr of gears again. Mingyu let out another frightened noise and immediately pressed himself further against Wonwoo’s side, tucking his head against the crook of his shoulder.

“It’ll be okay you big scaredy cat,” Wonwoo chuckled, reaching up with his free hand to gently card through Mingyu’s hair.

“Scaredy cat? Says you,” he mumbled.

Wonwoo smiled and kept combing through his hair, repeatedly giving quiet assurances about how the ride would end soon.

He didn’t expect a boy who was a good three or four inches taller than him to be so scared of heights. Maybe being even further from the ground than normal people made heights more daunting or something.

The next time the ride stopped to load and unload people, Mingyu suddenly shifted and snaked his arm behind Wonwoo’s back, wrapping it around his waist, and moved even closer to him.

Heat automatically rose from the base of his neck, where Mingyu’s nose was pressed against the crook of his neck.

“Using this whole scared of heights thing for skinship huh,” he murmured.

“So what if I am.”

Wonwoo glanced down at Mingyu leaning against him, and he reached over to cup his cheek. He gently tilted his face upwards so that they were looking at each other eye to eye.

Mingyu silently blinked at him.

“Can I tell you something?” Wonwoo said.

“What?”

“Yesterday...” Wonwoo hesitated, “it um, it wasn’t my mom contacting me.”

“I knew that.”

Wonwoo sighed and turned to look ahead, out the windows of their Ferris wheel cart. Mingyu shifted and turned his head to the side to rest it against Wonwoo’s shoulder.

“How did you know?” Wonwoo said without looking at the other.

“Just the way you were acting. You seemed like you were lying.”

“Was I that obvious?” he laughed, the sound hollow and quiet in the small chamber of the Ferris wheel cart.

“Obvious to _me_.”

Wonwoo blinked, watching the dark sky from the windows; they had reached the top of the wheel and were now starting their downward descent. Slowly, the weight on his right shoulder lifted and he could feel Mingyu’s eyes on him.

“Wonwoo,” Mingyu spoke, a kind of soft desperacy in his voice. “What happened?”

His chest ached all of a sudden with the thoughts and memories of his former best friend piling together, and all the time they’d spent together. 

“It was Soonyoung,” Wonwoo said, the sound reverberating in his skull. He turned to Mingyu. “He texted me.”

“Oh...”

Mingyu’s eyes were unreadable, like he didn’t know what to do with this information.

“What did he say?” he eventually asked.

“That he wanted us to talk.”

“And... did you answer?”

Wonwoo shook his head. “I deleted the message.” He hung his head low and pressed his hands against his temples and covered his eyes. “I... I just I didn’t...”

“It’s okay,” Mingyu said.

“I don’t know if that was the right thing to do,” Wonwoo admitted.

“If you didn’t feel ready to, it wasn’t right,” Mingyu said simply. “You can always talk to him later.”

“What if he doesn’t want to talk later?”

“Then that’s not your problem.”

“F-fuck, I don’t even know what he wants to talk about.”

“Hey, don’t spend your time overthinking this,” Mingyu said. “When the time comes, you’ll know, okay?”

“I honestly thought I was done with him forever,” Wonwoo let out an empty chuckle.

“Maybe the fact that he reached out to you is for the better...” Mingyu’s voice trailed off quietly.

“Why?”

“Because it might give you a chance to be honest with him. And it’ll give you proper closure.”

“I don’t need that,” Wonwoo grunted, but it sounded like a flat out lie, even to himself.

“Well. The truth usually has funny ways of slipping out. One way or another.” Mingyu smiled at him. He could catch a faint hint of melancholy in his eyes, and then the look vanished away altogether into an unreadable slate, like he was trying to mask his emotions.

Wonwoo’s heart squeezed almost painfully. All he could think was how much Mingyu’s words always comforted him, and made him feel warm and safe— but he never did the same for Mingyu. After all, Wonwoo really didn’t know all that much about him, did he?

“The truth huh?” Wonwoo chuckled. “You say that but… what about you? Your truth?”

“Hmm?” Mingyu furrowed his brows in question.

“I’ve been so caught up with myself, in my own problems,” Wonwoo hesitated and softly continued, “that I didn’t even bother to care about yours.”

“What do you mean?”

“What’s the real reason you’re here Mingyu?” he asked, eyes set firm and hard on Mingyu. “Why did you run away from home?”

Mingyu blinked at him slow and steadily as the ride came to a stop. He didn’t answer Wonwoo, and simply clasped their hands together as he got up.

Wonwoo took the stuffed toy into his arms as their cart door slid open, and let himself be tugged out of the cart, back into the buzzing fair.

As they exited, Wonwoo’s eyes lingered on Mingyu’s back. The unspoken words from their conversation on the Ferris wheel seemed to hang heavily in the air between them.

Mingyu was looking around for their next destination, his gently sloped nose standing stark against the rainbow lights from the Ferris wheel towering above them, and his tan skin illuminating in the colours.

Then Mingyu turned to look at him over his broad shoulders. His eyes were as dark and inky as the night that blanketed over them, seemingly growing deeper with every passing second. Maybe Wonwoo could drown in them if he wanted to.

He held his breath to see a faint cheerless smile lingering on Mingyu’s lips.

“I promise I’ll tell you” he said. “Just not today.”

Wonwoo didn’t say any more on the subject after that. Instead, he lightly asked, “Do you want to go down to the vendors? I saw them selling some art yesterday.”

“Yeah… sure.”

They walked side by side and Wonwoo was just relieved that Mingyu didn't pull away from him. 

A couple meters down the pathway, he spotted Seungcheol in the same red uniform and cap, and same booth as yesterday.

When Seungcheol spotted them walking closer, he grinned and waved, to which Wonwoo waved back.

“Who are you...” Mingyu’s voice trailed off, probably following his line of sight and spotting Seungcheol as well.

“Hey guys,” their neighbour greeted them with a charming smile, dimples showing as they approached the booth.

“Hey,” Wonwoo said, glancing around for customers. “We’re not interrupting you or anything are we?”

“Nah,” Seungcheol laughed. “It’s late, so many of the little kids have already gone home. It’s not busy right now.”

“I see,” Wonwoo said.

“Mingyu, cool to see you here today,” Seungcheol said lightly, shifting his attention to the other boy.

“Thanks,” Mingyu responded, voice oddly stiff.

“Though it’s a shame,” he said with an exaggerated sigh. “I don’t get Wonwoo to myself again,” he laughed playfully, eyes twinkling.

Before Wonwoo could roll his eyes at Seungcheol’s teasing and quip back that they barely even spent time together, he felt the hands around his own tighten, and he nearly stumbled as Mingyu tugged him closer against his side. Wonwoo blinked in confusion, gaze flickering up.

A subtle, displeased shadow was set over Mingyu’s face, and his lips were pressed in a thin line. Wonwoo gulped in surprise.

He turned back to Seungcheol whose gaze travelled down to where Mingyu’s hands were entwined with his, almost hidden between their bodies. A mischievous smirk slid across his lips, like he was pleased with himself.

Confusion sank into Wonwoo, but before he could gauge _anything_ about this exchange, customers approached the game booth.

“Well looks like I have work! I’ll see you boys around,” Seungcheol said casually, and gave them one last smile. His eyes shifted to Wonwoo and there was a not so subtle wink thrown at him, before he turned away to the greet the approaching family.

He could barely let out a ‘bye’, before Mingyu was yanking him away from the booth. When they were a good distance away, Wonwoo planted his feet down to make them stop.

“What is it?” Mingyu asked, turning around.

“I could ask you the same thing,”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mingyu avoided his eyes, lifting his shoulders and dropping them in an aggressive shrug.

Wonwoo chuckled. “Oh come on Mingyu, you were acting kinda pissy back there. What was that?”

Mingyu tilted his head, his eyes mellower now. But there was something else, something unreadable flickering in them. Without warning, he pulled Wonwoo into a narrow, secluded area between two red fair tents.

Wonwoo’s eyes widened at their proximity when Mingyu nudged him against the slippery fabric of the tent and faced him. They were barely a foot apart and he had to tilt his head up for their eyes to meet.

He gulped at the flat out serious look in Mingyu's eyes.

“What?” he whispered, clutching the stuffed toy in front of him. 

“I don’t get how you don’t understand,” Mingyu said. “I literally told you yesterday. Or do you not believe me?”

“T-told me what?”

Mingyu sighed, seemingly in frustration. He shuffled even closer, until he was touching the stuffed puppy against Wonwoo’s chest. 

“Did you have fun at the fair yesterday with Seungcheol?” he asked, lips dropping into a bitter frown.

“W-what?” Wonwoo stuttered. “No, I barely spent any time there! And I saw Seungcheol for like a little while only. We just talked and I left.”

“What did you talk about?”

“Why are you even asking?” Wonwoo frowned, and then added more quietly, “I really don’t get you.”

His mind raced with thoughts about how Mingyu was upset that he spent time with Seungcheol.

Wonwoo knew all that. He knew it, but why did it seem so absolutely unbelievable that Mingyu was jealous, _because he liked Wonwoo_?

What was there to like— enough to get jealous over? It didn’t make any sense.

“It’s so hard with you, you know that?” Mingyu whined, flapping his arms around for emphasis. “First I have to deal with you going on a fair date with another guy, and then I have to deal with your best friend, who happens to be your gay awakening texting you out of nowhere.”

“I told you already. I-it wasn’t a date,” Wonwoo mumbled, at a loss of real intelligible words and thoughts now.

He really didn’t understand Mingyu. He could get anyone he wanted. It was ridiculous that he was this bothered because of _Wonwoo_.

Wonwoo of all people.

It seemed like a joke. And yet here they were. 

“Really?” Mingyu whispered. He leaned down slightly, even closer to Wonwoo, until their foreheads were nearly touching and reached out to cup his cheek.

Wonwoo pressed further back into the fabric of the tent, and could only nod weakly in response.

Every corner of his senses was filled with Mingyu, and his skin buzzed like live wire where he was touching his cheek, the pad of his thumb gently stroking the corner of his mouth.

A part of him wanted to push Mingyu back, just to get rid of all these nerves tangling through him. But another part, a far more dangerous yet prominent part of him, desperately wanted to pull Mingyu closer.

The conflicting sides battled through his mind, and in the end Wonwoo could only stay frozen still.

Mingyu scanned over his face for a few seconds longer, and his eyes lingered over his lips.

Wonwoo’s cheeks grew hot, and his stomach flip-flopped like a fish on land.

But as soon as these feelings rose, Mingyu let out a sigh, and pulled away from him.

His whole body deflated, and he couldn’t explain the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, caving deeper as Mingyu slowly stepped back.

 _Why are you pulling away?_ The thought rang through Wonwoo’s head, almost like an alarm. But he couldn’t find it in himself to ask the question aloud.

Instead, Mingyu was the one to break the silence first. “Hey, since you showed me the fair, can I take you somewhere too?” he asked casually, seemingly unaffected by what just happened... or didn’t happen.

“O-okay,” Wonwoo stuttered.

It was only after he’d let out the word, that he realized he’d been holding his breath. His muscles relaxed, and yet a new poignant and heavy sensation seemed to weigh him down.

“Let’s go then,” Mingyu said.

They were no longer hand in hand as they headed out of the fair, and the emptiness stood starkly against Wonwoo’s palms.

Mingyu was so close to him just a minute ago. He was so close that Wonwoo could’ve made the space between them disappear so easily. He could’ve done the same yesterday too. But both times, he couldn’t bring himself to move. A small part of him was still _scared_. This was uncharted territory for him— and all these newfound feelings and thoughts— all of it was overwhelming.

And what’s worse was: maybe Mingyu didn’t like Wonwoo in _that way_ after all. What if he realized what a massive mistake his words to Wonwoo yesterday was? And his actions now? Maybe he just felt indebted to Wonwoo for rescuing him at the beach, and showing him around the land. Since he had no one else for help, what if he just latched onto the first person he could find and mistook all his feelings?

These what ifs were gently killing him.

Wonwoo gulped heavily.

Mingyu led him through the streets, moving further out towards the outskirts of the city. They walked for many minutes in silence, like neither of them knew just what to say to each other.

The houses grew sparse as they walked, and they were at the outskirts of the coast. Eventually, they were standing at the base of a huge, white cylindrical tower.

“You wanted to bring me to a water tank?” Wonwoo said, the anxiousness he’d been carrying throughout their walk, quickly being replaced with confusion.

“Yeah. You see…” Mingyu said slowly, “One day I was complaining to Bora that the pool she has is kind of small for me when I want to swim. I’m used to wide open oceans.”

“Then um, why don’t you just go to the ocean?”

“It’s unsafe,” Mingyu shook his head. “When I enter the ocean, it’s like I’m sending a signal of myself to other merpeople. And considering how powerful some of them are, they can send whatever terrible storms, and dangerous currents my way you know.”

“But when we went to see the dolphins...” Wonwoo recalled slowly.

“Yeah I realized it then. When I swam a little further out into the water with the dolphins that day, I was nearly caught in a whirlpool. You couldn’t see it, because I was pretty far, but it nearly dragged me in by the tail.”

Wonwoo’s eyes widened. Mingyu could’ve seriously gotten hurt there, and he didn’t even know about it.

“You’re saying... merpeople caused that?” he whispered.

“Yeah. I think it was like a warning to me,” Mingyu said. “To hurry up and get back home. I could feel it in the water.”

Wonwoo swallowed heavily, trying to process all this information.

Mingyu said his home.

That was right. This place wasn’t his _real_ home. His home was much different from here, much further away, like a whole different universe from what he knew. Although they met on that stormy beach weeks ago: they were still somehow worlds apart.

“Okay but...” Wonwoo said in a hushed voice, “What does that have to do with the water tower?”

“Bora gave me the keys to this place.”

His eyes nearly popped out of their sockets at that statement.

“W-what are you—”

“She said she had a friend who used to work as the maintenance person for the tower,” Mingyu shrugged. “And Bora liked to sometimes come up here and swim.”

“Swim?! Mingyu that’s crazy,” Wonwoo blurted out and then muttered more quietly, “Fuck my aunt is crazy.”

Mingyu gave him a lopsided grin. “Don’t worry. There are no cameras around here. It’s a seriously old tower, and apparently there’s never been a problem with trespassers.”

Before Wonwoo could respond, Mingyu had already grabbed his arm and was leading him around the gigantic cylindrical base. They circled to a metal door at the backside, and Mingyu fished out a key from his pocket.

“Oh my god, this is actually insane. You’re insane,” Wonwoo said as he frantically scanned the area to make sure no one could see them. “We shouldn’t be here.”

Beyond the gravel that circled the water tower, there was just ragged weeds and long grass, and then even further than that— farmlands. Not a soul in sight.

“Why aren’t we just going to the pool,” Wonwoo whined as they entered the tiny stairwell, and made their way up winding metal rungs. “Bora coaches there.”

“It’s a university pool,” Mingyu shook his head. “Too many people are constantly there. We’d never get into the building without being seen, much less actually be able to enter the water.”

Wonwoo sighed heavily.

It felt as though they were going up the stairs for ages, and he was actually starting to sweat after a few minutes.

By the time they hit the top and Mingyu pushed open a heavy metal door that led to the inside of the water tank, Wonwoo was letting out heavy pants. He leaned down and rested the weight of his palms on his kneecaps to catch his breath.

“You okay?” Mingyu touched his shoulder. His voice was steady, and he didn’t seem remotely tired.

“Y-yeah,” Wonwoo took a deep exhale through his nose. “Haven’t done my regular workouts since I quit swimming, that’s all.”

Wonwoo shook his body as if that would bring back his energy, and pushed himself upright.

What he saw before him, made his jaw literally drop.

They were right in front of a railing that separated them from a colossal pool of water. Thousands of gallons spread before them, hooded by a low, dark dome. Tiny lights hanging from the ceiling of the dome just barely illuminated the pool, but other than that it was like a deep, dark, cavern of water.

“Oh wow, it’s just like Bora described,” Mingyu exclaimed, his voice echoing through the massive chamber.

“Y-you’re gonna swim in here?” Wonwoo asked.

“It’s just like a pool,” he shrugged. “What’s so bad about it?”

“I dunno, it’s seems kind of scary,” Wonwoo said.

“Don’t worry,” Mingyu grinned at him, and then turned to the railing. “Bora told me that there was a little place to slip in around here,” he said as he looked around.

Wonwoo quickly turned on the flashlight on his phone so they could see a little better.

“Oh there it is!” Mingyu exclaimed, pointing to a couple feet away from them to a small segment of the railing that looked like a gate.

He walked over, and easily pushed it open. Wonwoo uneasily trailed him as he crouched down to look into the pool. He swayed his hand through the water, and then shrugged, looking back up at him.

“It looks perfectly fine to go in,” he said.

“Whatever you say,” Wonwoo merely whispered.

“Okay, I’m going in then. Wait here ’kay?” Mingyu smiled at him. He began unbuckling the belt of his shorts, and Wonwoo tilted his phone flashlight at the ground and looked away.

“Yeah, okay,” he mumbled.

Eventually, after some rustling of clothing, he could hear a gentle splash and he looked back up to see Mingyu wading in the water, his tail illuminating everything around him.

“Wow,” Wonwoo breathed. He’d only ever seen Mingyu’s tail in daylight, but it was so much more beautiful in the darkness. It set the water alight as though it were a prism, casting fragments of colours all around him.

Wonwoo simply stood there, in awe. Mingyu swished his tail from side to side as he swam through the water, and it was like watching the sway of a rainbow sun-catcher against the window on a bright summer morning.

His eyes travelled from his tail, to the way Mingyu’s body was lithe through the water, like he was simply made to be there. He couldn’t help but follow how the muscles on his tanned back flexed and relaxed as he swam around.

There was an unhinged freedom to the way Mingyu moved in this place. It was like he became an extension of the water itself. Wonwoo could only watch him mesmerized.

All at once, there was an intense and dizzying pull in his chest— the kind of pull that told Wonwoo how badly he wanted to join Mingyu in the water.

It was puzzling. How could he fear this place so much, yet still have that much longing towards it?

No matter how much he tried to run, he would still be drawn back to this very place: standing by the water, watching Mingyu, and falling a little further, without falling at all.

Wonwoo let out a tiny exhale and slowly undid his shoes and tucked away his socks. He lowered himself to sit at the edge, and let his feet dangle down into the tank.

The cool touch of the liquid made him shiver slightly, and he crossed his arms over himself, rubbing his biceps for warmth.

Mingyu swooped in a graceful arc to turn to him. He swam closer until he was only a few feet away from Wonwoo.

“You want to come in?” he asked, lips gently curved up.

His eyes crinkled at the edges slightly, and glowed with warmth against the surrounding darkness. He swam even closer until he was wading between Wonwoo’s legs, and reached up to lightly touch his knee.

“I won’t let go,” he said with so much sincerity, it made his chest ache.

And for once, Mingyu didn’t make his heart race. Wonwoo just felt calmer the more he looked at him. He closed his eyes, and slowly exhaled.

“You promise?” he said.

“Of course.”

Wonwoo nodded, and set his phone beside Mingyu’s clothes. He planted his hands against the ledge rather shakily. Ever so slowly and carefully, he lowered himself down, ignoring the heaviness of his clothes in the water.

Despite how clear Wonwoo’s head initially felt when he made the decision to get in the tank, the sensation of the water against his bare arms and legs made a nauseating feeling crawl up his lungs. He hated the way his knuckles were turning white from clutching the ledge.

 _‘Calm down Wonwoo, you were okay before, stay calm,’_ he thought, despite the bubbling panic beneath his skin, rising up and staggering towards the edge.

He rapidly blinked a couple times, his thoughts growing muddled. And with every swish of his legs through the water, the images he dreaded the most flashed by— the glaring lights of his school swimming pool, his father’s raised hand and the stinging pain against his face, his hands slapping the water and creating splashes as he struggled for air...

Wonwoo shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts.

But these ugly moments which he wanted to lock down and throw away, kept coming back. There was his brother’s retreating back, his mother’s silence, Soonyoung’s tear filled eyes…

It was all too much.

Wonwoo was aware by now that his breaths were coming out in short and fast successions by now.

He squeezed his eyes shut.

All at once, there was a cool palm against his shoulder, and he snapped back to reality.

“Wonwoo.”

Mingyu’s low voice reverberated through him, and it was almost like taking a gasp of air after being held underwater.

“You okay? We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” he said.

Wonwoo slowly turned and took in every inch of Mingyu’s face— at the way his lips were pressed tightly in worry, how his brows knit together, and at his concerned eyes. Wonwoo let out a trembling exhale.

He glanced down at the glowing water that encircled them, and trailed over Mingyu’s shimmering merman tail. The way its coloured lights reflected through the water was so entrancing.

“Your fish tail is seriously insane,” Wonwoo croaked out thoughtlessly.

Mingyu let out a snort at that. His eyes softened and he tilted his head slightly. “Seriously Wonwoo,” he whispered, “Do you want to leave? It’s okay if you do.”

“N-no, I... I have to do this.”

“You don’t _have_ to. Don’t force yourself.”

“But I do!” Wonwoo cried out in frustration. “I... I’m just sick of being so scared of something that should feel so familiar to me. I just want things to go back t-to normal.” His voice cracked pathetically at the last word.

“Okay... I understand,” Mingyu said quietly. And then with more clarity and conviction, he spoke louder. “Come here.”

Wonwoo gulped at Mingyu’s hand that he held out to him.

That was right.

If Mingyu was here with him. It would be okay.

It would be okay... for now.

Shakily, Wonwoo grasped the outstretched hand, and let go of the ledge at last.

As he turned to face Mingyu, he shifted his arms to hold onto his shoulders. They were nearly chest to chest as he began moving.

Wonwoo tried to focus on the sensations around him, trying so hard to avoid the corners of his mind where the bad memories and thoughts would leak in.

Mingyu’s back muscles rippled underneath his flat palms as they moved further away from the edge.

“You okay?” he eventually whispered.

Wonwoo took a deep breath and looked up to meet his eyes. Their faces were so close, and normally he would have backed away by now, but that definitely wasn’t happening today. It was taking everything in him not to clutch onto Mingyu tighter out of fear.

“Y-yeah...”

“We can get out anytime you want okay?” Mingyu scanned over him, his features as gentle as ever. “Just tell me and I’ll take you back.”

“Mingyu... I’m okay. Don’t worry,” he said, trying to keep his voice as level as possible.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

They swam around longer, and the repeated rhythmic motions of Mingyu’s body as he did a small circle around the tank, gradually calmed him down.

Wonwoo’s arms loosened around Mingyu, and he glanced down into the water, at the way his feet were gently floating alongside his glowing tail.

He focused on the slight brushes of the scales against his legs for a while until Mingyu spoke up.

“Wonwoo,” he said, his hands moving to rest on his waist. He tugged Wonwoo ever so slightly towards him.

“Yeah?” he looked up.

“I’m really proud of you for doing this,” Mingyu smiled.

He blinked in surprise.

There it was again— this unprecedented praise that Mingyu gave him, which he definitely didn’t deserve. It managed to catch him off guard every time.

“You don’t have to say that to make me feel better,” Wonwoo said, voice clipped.

“What are you talking about?” Mingyu frowned.

“If you weren’t here, I would’ve never gone in. Even with you here, I was still freaking out,” he sighed. “How is that an achievement.”

Mingyu shook his head. “Just days ago you could barely put your feet in the water. Look at you now. Even small victories are still victories. You don’t need to be so harsh on yourself okay?”

“I guess...” Wonwoo mumbled.

Mingyu sighed and there was a trace of sadness in the curve of his lips. “Can I be honest with you?”

“Hmm? About what?”

Mingyu pulled him closer and Wonwoo held his breath at their proximity.

“I don’t think it’s exactly the water you’re so afraid of,” Mingyu whispered. “You’re just scared of yourself, and whatever makes you, _you_.”

Wonwoo blinked at him, momentarily stunned.

Maybe it was because no one had served him a dose of reality like that until now, but his stiff limbs grew loose and pliant in Mingyu’s arms. Mingyu who was so good, and solid, and _real_ — more real than any of his fears that clouded every edge of his mind.

Their gazes locked together, and Mingyu’s eyes flickered down to his lips for a second once again, the same way it did back at the fair.

This time, Wonwoo didn’t look away. The strings on his heart tugged itself towards Mingyu with so much yearning, and for once, he wanted to listen to that feeling.

He didn’t want to run away from it.

Without another second of hesitation, Wonwoo leaned down and closed the tiny gap remaining between them.

Their lips touched and he squeezed his eyes shut.

Truthfully, now that he’d gotten this far, he didn’t know what the hell he was doing with his mouth pressed against Mingyu’s. Was he supposed to move? If movies were accurate, he probably was. But move _how_? He was out of his element here.

Mingyu pulled back first.

Their eyes met and his heart stuttered. There was a growing smile on Mingyu’s face, and Wonwoo had to force himself to keep his gaze trained on his eyes, and not down to his lips that he’d just kissed. Sort of. 

“I-I just…” he stumbled over his words.

“Wonwoo,” Mingyu whispered, leaning closer now until their noses were almost touching. He brought one of his hands from his waist, to clasp the back of his neck. Wonwoo shivered at the cool and wet touch. “Open your mouth.”

Wonwoo’s eyes widened by a fraction. Did he hear that right? He parted his lips in surprise at the statement.

Before he could get any word out, Mingyu slotted their lips together.

And— _oh there it was_. Mingyu was kissing him. He was actually kissing Wonwoo.

He tugged him forwards until their chests were pressed flush together. His lips were slightly chapped, but still somehow so soft as they moved against Wonwoo’s, all languid and sweet.

Wonwoo’s mind was thrown into a haze as they continued to kiss, and all he could think was that he didn’t want this to stop.

He liked the way Mingyu almost seemed to chase his lips when he leaned back ever so slightly. Mingyu pressed against him more insistently, and Wonwoo tilted his head into the kiss with a sigh. He let Mingyu take the lead, but felt slightly braver now, sucking on his lower lip and placing gentle nips there.

When they parted, their foreheads remained pressed together.

The only sound that filled the silence of the tank was their heavy breaths. Their chests rose and fell at the same beat, and the illuminated water rippled around them with their slight movements.

Mingyu was the first to break the silence when he sighed and said, “I wanted to do that for a while now.”

“Y-you could’ve done it sooner,” Wonwoo stammered. He took slow exhales, trying to get his heart rate back to normal.

Wow, so _that’s_ what kissing a boy felt like.

“Yeah I could’ve... but...” Mingyu smiled and moved back slightly to look at Wonwoo. He shifted his hand to cup his jaw. “I wanted _you_ to make the first move.”

“Why?” he managed to get out, despite his brain going all fuzzy from everything that was happening.

Without answering, Mingyu leaned forward and gave him another kiss, this time a gentle peck on his lips. And then another one, against his cheek.

Wonwoo figured he would stop there, but then he just began peppering his cheeks with kisses, and his insides turned into mush. He could barely think straight with Mingyu being like this.

All he could do was let out a soft whine.

“ _Mingyuuu,_ answer.”

Mingyu just chuckled, his breath warm against Wonwoo’s skin.

“Because I didn’t know for sure if you wanted to do the same.”

There was a newfound softness to Mingyu’s deep voice, and _holy shit—_ Wonwoo was sure he could melt right then and there at those words.

His cheeks burned, and his neck and ears were probably red too at this point.

Still, he tried to respond as calmly as he could.

“Well. I definitely do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow look!! it only took them 46k words to get here  
> so fast from my usual pace dang
> 
> Feel free to leave your thoughts on the story so far, I love reading the comments the most haha


	8. Overwash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Wonwoo learns, it can be difficult to navigate changes in relationships.

Wonwoo was in a daze as Mingyu and him headed back to Bora’s house from the water tank that night.

He didn’t even care that he was soaked from their swim. The only thing that stood out to him was how Mingyu gripped his hand as they walked down the coast, alongside small groups of people who were probably heading home from the fair. Mingyu lightly swung the stuffed animal that Wonwoo won for him with his other hand as they walked together.

A part of him never wanted to reach Bora’s house so that he didn’t have to let go.

Mingyu on the other hand, really wasn’t slowing down his pace as they walked down the streets— probably worrying over how Wonwoo was shivering every few seconds from the nighttime ocean breeze blowing against his dripping wet shirt.

He’d offered Wonwoo his own shirt saying that it was fine, and he could just walk home without a shirt. Wonwoo politely declined. After all, it was only a 15 minute walk down the neighbourhood, he could survive.

There was in fact no car in the driveway when they got back, and they had to unlock the house with the spare keys Bora had given Wonwoo. It was completely quiet and dark when they stepped inside. 

“I think Bora went out,” Wonwoo mumbled, noticing that the sandals she usually wore wasn’t by the entrance either. 

“Yeah, looks like it,” Mingyu responded as he tugged him upstairs. They stopped in the hallway between their two rooms and looked at each other.

He held his breath, waiting for Mingyu to do something, _anything_ , as they stood there.

Mingyu scanned his face for a few seconds like he was lost in thought, and then with a trace of a smile on his lips he said, “Well it’s late. You should change.”

“U-um yeah...”

“Goodnight Wonwoo,” he said and slowly backed away, the corners of his lips twitching.

Wonwoo stood in the hallway, frozen as Mingyu turned away.

_Huh?_

_That was it?_

“G-goodnight? What?” Wonwoo said, voice embarrassingly high pitched.

Mingyu stopped. He glanced over his back with a raise of his brows.

“I mean,” Wonwoo said, “Like you um, want to go to sleep _now_? It’s only 10.”

“I’m tired,” Mingyu shrugged. “Also, you should change out of those clothes as quickly as possible.”

“Oh… I see,” he let out a painfully awkward chuckle. “Well um, uh, I hope you have a good rest, I guess...”

“See ya,” Mingyu said, and casually wiggled his fingers to wave bye to him. With that he turned away again and headed to his bedroom that was a little ways down the hallway from Wonwoo’s.

Wonwoo probably should’ve shut up in that moment as he watched his retreating back, but he couldn’t stop himself from blurting out, “Mingyu wait!”

Mingyu stopped once again, this time in the middle of his opened doorway, and turned around.

“Yes?”

And if Wonwoo didn’t feel so humiliated right now, he would have noticed the amusement lingering in Mingyu’s tone.

But all that was racing through his brain was, Mingyu wasn’t going to do anything else? He wasn’t going to say anything about tonight? About whatever happened between them? He was just going to _leave_ and head to bed?

What the hell.

Maybe Wonwoo really did imagine everything that happened up. Maybe he fell into the water tank by accident, blacked out and dreamt all of that up, and Mingyu didn’t have the heart to tell him the truth.

“I um, I just,” he hesitated. He couldn’t find the words to explain how he didn’t want Mingyu to leave just yet.

But maybe Mingyu didn’t want that. And whatever happened really didn’t mean much to him, as much as it meant to Wonwoo.

“H-have a... good night,” he sighed.

“Yeah you too,” Mingyu said easily, before leaving him out in the hallway alone.

Wonwoo waddled to his room feeling more pathetic than ever, an upset pout etching onto his face.

Just because Mingyu wanted to kiss him back there, didn’t mean he had _feelings_ for Wonwoo. Not to mention the possibility that maybe Mingyu was the kind of guy that liked the chase, but kind of lost interest once he had the person.

“Stupid Mingyu,” he whispered harshly as he changed out of his clothes to a loose pair of boxers and an oversized t-shirt. Really, he felt like the actual stupid one here.

Once his wet clothes were hanging in his closet, he flopped under his covers and grabbed one of the useless throw pillows on the bed, punching it a few times to let out his frustration.

He was mid-way through completely kicking all the extra pillows off his bed like a child throwing a fit, when there was a knock on his door and he froze.

He cautiously shuffled to the door and opened it to see Mingyu standing outside in a pair of sweats and a well fitted black shirt that showed off his stupid muscles. He wore an amused smile on his face.

“What do you want?” Wonwoo grumbled.

“Do I have to want anything to come here?” he said.

“I thought you were sleepy.”

Mingyu only grinned wider at that. “Nah I changed my mind,” he shrugged.

Wonwoo knew he was glaring about now and he couldn’t help it.

“Hey, are you mad at me?” Mingyu smiled, clearly not taking any of this seriously.

“What do you think?” Wonwoo shot back, even though he really wasn’t mad at Mingyu per sae. More like frustrated with _himself_ for having unrealistic expectations.

“I guess you are,” Mingyu snickered. “Though I really, possibly, can’t tell why.”

“W-well cause,” he hunched up his shoulders defensively, “when we came back you just said you were tired and barely spared me a second glance. It was like what happened at the water tower didn’t even happen! And here I was expecting so much, and now I feel like a desperate idiot that—”

All at once Mingyu crossed the doorway, stepping into his personal space, and leaned forward to kiss the words right off his lips.

Wonwoo’s eyes went wide in surprise, and he made a muffled noise against Mingyu’s mouth.

It took a few seconds for his brain to register what was happening, before his stiff arms and legs grew limp almost like how hardened butter melts in heat. His eyes fluttered shut and he fell into the kiss.

“Why…” he said against Mingyu’s lips when they parted.

“Sorry I was just kidding. I’m not tired at all,” Mingyu smiled, his eyes twinkling right into Wonwoo’s. “And of course that stuff at the water tank was all real.”

“T-then why did you practically ignore me when we got back?”

“I just wanted to see your reaction,” Mingyu chuckled lightly. “You act all hard headed, but you’re so cute.”

Now Wonwoo was turning red and there was no way to stop it. “Shut up.”

Mingyu leaned forward and gave him a peck on the lips. “So cute,” he smiled, “Getting all grumpy and worried because I didn’t give you attention.”

“I… I didn’t want attention from you,” Wonwoo frowned and looked away with indignance.

“Oh really. Then why were you all upset?”

“Because…” Wonwoo trailed off, trying to find some palpable excuse for all that. He gave up and sighed. “Okay fine, I wanted attention from you. But you can’t just say that _out loud_!”

“Why not?” Mingyu said.

“Because it’s embarrassing! And makes me look desperate,” Wonwoo glared, but he knew there was no real menace in his eyes. “Also, you’re a jerk playing around like that.”

“I’m sorry,” Mingyu pouted and held him closer. “You’re just not very straightforward you know? If you want something, you should say it. I like it when you tell me how you _really_ feel.”

Wonwoo blinked at him in thought.

“S-so… if I said I wanted you to kiss me, that’d be okay?” he finally whispered. 

Mingyu let out a laugh at that, bright and beautiful, and the only way he could describe it would be like the sun breaking through the horizon, and casting its rays all around to create daybreak.

“It’d be more than okay,” he said and cupped his face to place another kiss on his lips.

This time Wonwoo reached up and wound his arms around Mingyu’s shoulders to pull him closer, his hands brushing his undercut at the base of his neck.

Mingyu shivered slightly and pulled away a fraction. 

“Your hands are cold,” he said. He stroked gentle circles on his cheeks with the pads of his thumb, before leaning back some more. “Your skin is kind of cold in general.”

“It’s usually like that,” Wonwoo mumbled. “It’s worse than usual though. Cause I went into the water.”

“Then why didn’t you change into something warmer?”

“Cause I was in bed, under my blanket!” he grunted. “I was about to go to sleep.”

Mingyu chuckled and steered him over to his bed. “Then let’s get you warm again.”

He climbed underneath the sheets first, pulling Wonwoo along with him.

The moment they were laying side by side, turned towards each other, Mingyu wrapped his arms around him. Wonwoo couldn’t help but relish in the warmth that encased him. He huddled further into the pleasant heat of the blanket and Mingyu’s chest .

He’d never really cuddled with anyone before like this, but it was nice. He sighed with content, and then shifted slightly so his gaze could meet Mingyu’s.

The warm flecks of amber in his eyes were vivid from this proximity, and Wonwoo couldn’t help but admire their striking beauty. Everything about Mingyu was beautiful.

Wonwoo smiled at the thought. Mingyu immediately mirrored the smile, and then leaned forward to lock their lips together.

There was an intensity behind this kiss that was much different from the first or second time they kissed.

Their lips moved together with a newfound heaviness that made a warm sensation pool into his gut, spreading through his limbs.

Mingyu pressed against him almost demandingly, moving closer until their bodies were slotted together with barely any space left between.

Without even fully realizing what he was doing, Wonwoo parted his lips further, and a soft, slick sensation entered his mouth.

At first, the only thought that struck him was that: this felt _weird_.

But then Mingyu kept licking into his mouth, and the heat in his stomach intensified and Wonwoo rapidly grew tenacious despite a voice in his head telling him that he should slow down.

He shucked that voice out the window and grabbed Mingyu, pulling him even closer, pressing back into the kiss with equal measure.

When Mingyu bit his lower lip, he tried to hold back the whimper threatening to escape him with no avail. Mingyu ran his tongue over the lip as if to soothe the bite and he shuddered.

It’s not as if Wonwoo wanted to make noises; in fact it was pretty embarrassing. But the driving thought that overpowered all sense of shame or embarrassment was that fact that he suddenly, desperately wanted Mingyu to actually touch him down—

_Nope nope nope._

That part of his brain that he’d ignored just moments ago was now sending out alarms through him.

He couldn’t do this.

Maybe getting horny, especially when the guy you liked was making out with you, was a normal thing. But for Wonwoo, it was definitely too much.

He pulled back slightly.

“M-mingyu,” he said, positively out of breath once they parted. “C-can we— can we...” 

“What is it baby?”

_Huh? Baby?_

Wonwoo shivered at the pet name, and immediately hid his face in the crook of Mingyu’s neck. He took in that familiar, and unceasing scent of the ocean that he couldn’t decide if he loved or hated, just to ground him and not let his brain turn to mush.

Well it worked, because Wonwoo murmured, “We should probably stop.”

“Why?”

“Bora might be back any minute you know.”

“Her room is at the other side of this floor, it’s not as if she has supersonic hearing,” Mingyu easily pointed out.

“What if she comes to my room though.”

“When has she ever done that?”

He bit his lips. Mingyu made a good point.

But he should _probably_ add that he wasn’t ready to do anything else with him. That he just wanted to keep things restricted to kissing, cuddling, and holding hands. And this make-out session. Yes this was nice.

Nothing else though. That terrified Wonwoo, and he needed far too much mental preparation for that.

But it also scared him to tell Mingyu this out loud for some reason. Mingyu who was so comfortable in his own skin and sexuality... what if he didn’t understand? What if he liked Wonwoo _less_ because of it?

They were so different. They were almost... too different, and the mere thought of their differences made him anxious. What if they were two pieces of a puzzle that weren’t meant to fit, and had just been forced together— their corners and curves squeezed in and connected, in all the wrong places.

“Um well, I dunno. Just to be on the safe side...” he said, voice trailing off. He tried to ignore how he felt like a specimen being examined under Mingyu’s gaze. “Besides, I actually am kind of tired now,” he rushed out. “We should go to sleep so um... you can go back to your room.”

“Aww come on. How can you tell me to go to my room?” Mingyu said, all confidence and bravado from moments ago gone, and voice whiny like a child’s. “Can’t I just sleep here? _Please_?”

“Like I said, I’m scared of Bora catching us.”

“But...” Mingyu lowered his voice now, his tone turning gentle and quiet. “Would it be so bad if she actually knew?”

Wonwoo tensed.

“I... I know it sounds stupid,” he said, “But I don’t want her to know.”

Mingyu pressed his lips together. “Can I ask why?”

“B-because... it’s easier that way,” he avoided eye contact. “I don’t have to keep worrying. Like I know she would never do it on purpose, but what if she _accidentally_ lets it slip to my mom about you, or says something without meaning to and...”

Wonwoo’s voice grew distant as Mingyu stared at him for prolonged seconds of silence, his expression unreadable. It honestly scared Wonwoo. He didn’t want Mingyu to get angry at him for saying that, for wanting to keep him like a forbidden secret.

He waited, no, _braced_ himself to be told off— but nothing came.

Instead there was only a short and clipped, “Okay,” followed by a quiet, “But can’t you let me stay here anyway? Bora never comes to your room, especially in the mornings.”

Wonwoo gave in with a slow nod, his stiff muscles relaxing slightly.

They didn’t exchange any more words after that. Mingyu just quietly pulled him closer into his arms again and held him just as securely as before.

Yet despite this comfort, he couldn’t help but feel the subtle tension in the air around them that didn’t exist before.

And Wonwoo knew it was his fault.

Waking up to Mingyu’s face first thing the next morning, was honestly one of the nicest things he’s felt in a while.

It made his lips curve up fondly without even fully realizing it. Mingyu had his face smushed into his pillow, and his mouth hung open slightly as he sprawled over majority of the bed on his stomach.

“Mingyu,” Wonwoo said in a hushed voice as he shook him by the shoulders. “Hey.”

Mingyu simply whined and hid his face further into his pillow.

“It’s nine already, we should get up and have breakfast.”

He whined some more, before finally pulling himself upright. Wonwoo chuckled softly at his puffed up, sleepy face, and ruffled his fluffy black hair.

Wonwoo was used to years and years of waking up at ungodly hours for training and swim practice, so getting up early was never a problem for him. Even after quitting, this habit hadn’t changed in him.

In fact, he slept in longer than he usually would— perhaps enjoying the comforting heat that radiated off of Mingyu too much.

They headed downstairs together, and as per usual Bora had already left for work. They likely wouldn’t see her until evening.

Knowing this, Mingyu didn’t really hold back on his touchiness as they made breakfast. He stood behind Wonwoo and wrapped his arms around his waist while their bread was toasting.

He also kept pressing little kisses into the crown of his head until Wonwoo complained and told him to stop.

It’s not as if he actually minded all this overflowing affection being showered on him— but it was _distracting_ , and made his limbs cease to function properly. He could barely coherently spread peanut butter on his freaking bread because his brain was so consumed with Mingyu.

Wonwoo sighed and faced a pouting Mingyu who had him caged against the counter.

“Let me finish making breakfast,” he said sternly. “Go sit.”

Mingyu’s lips drooped a bit like a kicked puppy, and he dragged himself to the round breakfast table.

Eventually they were sitting together and digging into their food. At first Mingyu was his usual talkative self, blabbing aimlessly about how interesting land people food was (“the dryness of this bread is really unmatched you know? I’ve never had something so... dry!”), while Wonwoo just quietly munched on his toast and nodded while trying not to laugh.

But after a while, Mingyu grew oddly sullen. His words trailed off, and he stared outside. He was sitting facing the glass doors that opened up to the back patio, while Wonwoo was adjacent to him.

Wonwoo turned and followed Mingyu’s line of sight, out to the cloudy morning and the grey horizon of the sea that stretched out in view from the patio. The water reflected the sky in all its bleakness.

“Kinda looks like a storm is coming,” Mingyu murmured.

“The forecast didn’t say anything about that though.”

“Yeah I know...” he said. “It just looks like it.”

Wonwoo examined him some more in thought. His eyes were almost as bleak as the sky, and it made him uneasy.

It was strange seeing Mingyu like this. So blank and faraway, despite sitting hardly two feet away from him.

It brought him back to their day at the fair.

“ _I promise I’ll tell you. Just not today_ ,” Mingyu had said, when Wonwoo asked him why he ran away from home.

Did this look in Mingyu’s eyes right now, have to do with the same thing? He wondered if it was an acceptable moment to bring that up again. Would Mingyu answer him this time?

Wonwoo just wanted to understand.

Mingyu was always so carefree and bright on the surface. He seemed so _unbothered_ by the fact that he ran away from home— something that would’ve had Wonwoo breaking down into anxiety every day.

But some people, especially the strongest and brightest, they were just better at concealing themselves away.

He parted his lips to bring up the topic for the second time.

“Mingyu I—”

The ringing of the phone sounded through the house, and Wonwoo practically jumped in his seat from being shaken out of his tunnel vision of asking Mingyu about the discomforting topic.

“What is that?” Mingyu’s eyes darted around.

“Oh um, that’s the phone.” He got up to go to the counter.

“But your phone is right here? And it’s not ringing,” he said, pointing to Wonwoo’s cellphone that was on the table.

“No, it’s the landline ringing. It’s a phone that’s attached to the um... house. You can’t take it out of here unlike my cellphone,” he explained, taking the phone off the charging station.

He turned and showed it to Mingyu. “Also unlike my phone, this thing is _only_ a phone. You can’t do anything else on it. No searching stuff up on the internet, no maps and calendars, no flashlight...”

Mingyu nodded at the explanation, as Wonwoo glanced at the number and underneath that there was the name “Fei” written for the caller ID. Without another thought, he hit talk.

“Hello?”

“ _Hi Wonwoo_ , _this is Fei, we met once remember?”_ A woman’s soft voice filtered through the phone.

“Yeah I remember, hi Fei,” Wonwoo greeted her.

_“Hi, um, I was just calling to ask for a big favour from you actually.”_

“A favour? What is it?”

_“You’ve met Sol once right? My dog? I left him with Bora one time, and you were there I’m pretty sure.”_

“Yeah I have,” Wonwoo nodded.

He thought back to that day, picturing the fluffy golden dog at the door screen, and getting startled by its excited and sudden barking. It wasn’t long after that that he stood on the porch, watching his mother’s retreating back and wanting nothing but to run after her. It all felt so long ago now. Almost like a hazy, distant dream. Or nightmare.

_“That’s great. So um, I was thinking, do you think you could look after him today? Something important came up and I can’t bring Sol along. I would normally ask Bora, but she’s busy today so...”_

“I guess I can...” Wonwoo responded hesitantly. “But I’ve never taken care of a dog before.”

“ _Oh don’t worry, I’ll leave all the stuff you need and give you a small run through of things you might need to know. He’s very well trained so it shouldn’t be a problem. He handles being around new people very well._ ”

“Okay, cool then, um. Does Bora know about this?” Wonwoo asked.

“Yes of course, I told her. She couldn’t call you because she’s very busy right now, which is why I called to ask instead.”

“Oh okay. Then yeah, I’ll do my best to look after Sol.”

_“That’s great! You’re a life saver Wonwoo. I’ll be there in half an hour.”_

“Alright see you then.”

_“Thank you so much, see you!”_

Wonwoo hung up the phone, and glanced at Mingyu who was staring at him questioningly.

“Who was that? What dog?”

“It was Bora’s girlfriend. She wants us to take care of her dog for the day.”

Mingyu’s eyes instantly lit up at those words. “Really?!” he blurted out.

Wonwoo couldn’t help but let a smile slip out. Whenever he took Mingyu outside to get him familiar with everything up here on land, one of his biggest adorations would always be the dogs that they would see on their walks.

His whole face would brighten up every time they passed a dog and its owner. And on some occasions, the dog would be curious enough to venture towards them. Of course seeing Mingyu’s overeager, excited face was enough for Wonwoo to politely ask the owner if they could pet their dog. They usually agreed, and Mingyu would immediately be on the ground cooing and ruffling them. Wonwoo would literally have to pry him away as he tearfully bid the dog goodbye, so they could continue their walk.

So yes, he’d established by now that Mingyu was a dog lover through and through.

Wonwoo on the other hand didn’t exactly have anything against dogs, but he just preferred cats. Dogs were just too loud and too high maintenance.

But over the past month or so of spending time with Mingyu, he couldn’t help but get really happy whenever they saw one on their walks. Maybe because Mingyu was always so overeager to see them— and if it made Mingyu smile so widely, that was all it took to make the corners of his lips silently curve up too.

Fei came by half an hour later to drop off Sol, and gave Wonwoo all the food and toys he might want. 

Mingyu practically ran to the dog when he entered the house, crouching down and fussing all over him.

Wonwoo smiled at the two of them as Sol sniffed Mingyu and immediately seemed to like him. Wonwoo also crouched down to let himself get sniffed to get Sol familiar with him.

They kept him busy with some dog toys for a while. Sol was indeed fairly well trained, immediately listening to Mingyu when he gave simple commands like ‘sit’, and ‘stay’ that Fei had showed them how to do.

Eventually, Wonwoo’s eyes trailed to the glass doors leading to the back deck and the kitchen windows. Sunlight filtered through them, and although gray clouds still spotted the sky they had definitely thinned away.

“Hey it’s sunnier outside now,” Wonwoo said. “We could take Sol out to play or something.”

Mingyu grinned up at him. “Let’s do it.”

They headed down to the beach and stopped a few meters before the water. “Let’s play frisbee with him,” Wonwoo suggested, holding up the disk that Fei had given him.

Mingyu eagerly nodded as he knelt down to take Sol off of the leash that he was currently on.

“Wait I’m a bit nervous,” Wonwoo mumbled.

“What, why?”

“Is it really okay to take him off the leash? What if he runs off on us?”

“Fei said it was fine. He’s well trained,” Mingyu shrugged.

“Okay…” he responded hesitantly. Making a throwing motion with the disk in his hands, he looked at Sol and said, “Let’s play catch okay buddy?”

Sol patiently tilted his head at him, seemingly waiting to run after the frisbee. And with every throw, he diligently came back with the disk in his mouth, eager for Wonwoo to give him a treat.

After a couple throws Mingyu decided to join in too.

Once he let go of the disk, it wasn’t only Sol that took off, but Mingyu ran right behind him. Wonwoo stood there and giggled as the boy chased Sol around, jumping around with him to snatch the disk out of his mouth which ended up in a mini tug of war match. Wonwoo’s smile grew impossibly wide as he walked over to the two, standing over Mingyu who was now laughing and cuddling Sol.

“I really want a dog,” Mingyu said between laughs. His face slowly dimmed once he let out those words however. He smiled at Sol with a subtle, pained sort of longing, and repeated, “I _wish_ I could get a dog.”

There was almost an air of resentment, or defeat in those words from the way he said it.

Wonwoo gulped at the look in Mingyu’s eyes. “You can. In the future maybe…” he trailed off. It sounded forced.

After all, could Mingyu truly leave his old life behind? Could he just… stay up here _forever_?

Maybe not. And the realization was a sharp pang, piercing through his heart.

Perhaps Mingyu noticed the fallen look on his face, because his dim expression brightened almost instantly. He plastered on a huge grin, and made grabby motions with his hands. Wonwoo mindlessly reached out to help him up, brain still stuck on the prospect of Mingyu having to go back to his old life— when all at once he was yanked down, falling against Mingyu’s firm and warm chest.

“Hey! What was that for?” he scowled. He shifted back slightly so that they could meet eyes.

Mingyu simply tilted his head with a fond look. Without another word, he cupped his cheek and leaned closer.

Wonwoo gulped with a click in his throat, and forced himself not to dart his eyes around to see if anyone else was on the beach.

And then Mingyu’s lips were on his, fluttering and gentle.

There was no heat behind the kiss, but for some reason it made every muscle in his body weaken. He didn’t know why Mingyu had this effect on him, but he always grew so pliant whenever they touched.

The moment they parted, Mingyu leaned forward and kissed him again, and again.

The pressure of his lips was carefully measured, and gentle each time. It was almost as if he was wordlessly trying to reassure Wonwoo that he was _here_ , and everything was okay.

Before he could count how many times Mingyu had kissed him, a mop of fur pressed against his chest.

He broke away and looked down, immediately smiling at the sight. Sol was trying to get in between them and pry them apart.

“Aw do you want kisses too?” Mingyu cooed, ruffling Sol’s fur, and pressed a peck against his fluffy head.

“He’s just jealous that you were giving me more attention than him,” Wonwoo snorted.

“Well we can’t have that, can we?” Mingyu laughed as Sol cutely tipped his head at them with a frisbee in his mouth.

Wonwoo stood up, taking the disk to play with the dog some more.

“Ready?” he said to Sol who simply waited, expectant. However when he glanced over at Mingyu who was also getting up, there was a disoriented look in his eyes. His face was contorted, and he pushed his fingers to his temples.

“Hey are you okay?” Wonwoo immediately asked. His stomach twisted at the way Mingyu was pressing his palms over his eyes.

There was a beat of silence before Mingyu lowered his hand, blinking back up at Wonwoo in somewhat of a daze, as if he was regaining his bearings.

“Y-yeah I’m fine,” he said, voice shaky despite his sharp and assured nod. “I just got really dizzy all of a sudden.”

“Dizzy?”

The worry must’ve been evident in his voice because Mingyu chuckled and said, “don’t worry, it’s probably nothing. Just got up too fast or something.”

“Y-yeah… probably.”

He tried to brush off the worry as they headed back inside now. But still, he couldn’t help the uneasy, curling itch brushing the back of his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah a short chapter~ just fluff and a bit filler, but we need breaks from time to time lol 
> 
> ALSO! Please click on this very important [link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UB4FzllQCyc&ab_channel=BigHitLabels) thanks~


	9. Atoll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mingyu and Wonwoo end up at a party.   
> And trouble arises for Mingyu.

“Hey, can you two go run an errand for me?” Bora strode into the kitchen where Wonwoo and Mingyu were at the round breakfast table, eating lunch. “I have an appointment I need to get to,” she said as she tied up her hair in a ponytail. She was dressed up formally, wearing a plaid blazer and fitted suit skirt.

“What do you want us to do?” Wonwoo asked.

“Groceries,” she sighed. “The fridge is nearly bare, and I’ve been so busy with work these days.”

“Sure,” Mingyu said.

He was meeker, and carried a sort of stillness around him today. It was strange not to hear the excitement bouncing around in his voice. He’d never gone grocery shopping up here before, so Wonwoo expected him to sound more eager. Still, he wore a quiet smile, so it’s not as if he seemed like he was in a bad mood. Maybe Wonwoo just shouldn’t question it.

“We can go when we’re done eating lunch,” he said.

“Oh thank you two so much,” Bora sighed in relief. This was clearly stressing her out before, and Wonwoo didn’t blame her.

It was true that his aunt was always seemingly busy and out of the house these days. Her job as a faculty member and top swim coach of a university clearly put a lot on her plate.

Of course that meant a lot of cheap takeout or frozen meals, since Wonwoo couldn’t cook to save his life. Meanwhile, Mingyu barely even knew most land people food, much less how to use all those cooking appliances.

Despite the downside of his aunt hardly ever being home, Mingyu’s whole self visibly brightened whenever they were alone together, and he didn’t have to hold back any of his affections.

When Bora _was_ around, he’d always sulk like a sad puppy at the sharp, cautioning gazes Wonwoo shot him whenever they’d be closer in proximity.

Wonwoo knew he was being unfair. He knew he couldn’t do this forever. But why was the truth just so hard to let out?

The truth should be simple, it should be freeing. But to Wonwoo, it was anything but. The truth was like a snare— ready to snatch him up the second he let his guard down. And he’d already done that before, so he wasn’t about to repeat the same mistake again. He couldn’t close his eyes and let himself relax for even a second. Not this time.

The moment they finished the rest of their sandwiches, Mingyu pushed himself up from his seat with a sort of tiredness that he’d never really seen in the boy before. He was usually light on his feet and shooting around everywhere like a firecracker. But today his limbs seemed _heavy_ , like he was dragging them along with him.

Wonwoo wondered for a brief moment if he should ask if anything was wrong, but then Mingyu was already at the front door tying up his shoes, and looking at him expectantly.

Wonwoo grabbed Bora’s car keys that she’d left behind. She was getting a ride from her girlfriend to work, since apparently her parking pass at the university had expired recently and she hadn’t been able to get it renewed yet.

He took one last glance at Mingyu who was smiling at him by the door, waiting. His face remained bright, despite his tired movements.

When they got to the grocery store he pulled out a shopping cart and showed Mingyu how they needed to insert a coin in its slot to take the cart out.

“We’ll get the coin back at the end when we return the cart,” he said.

Mingyu nodded in understanding. His eyes widened in curiosity and interest as he scanned the store, like he was taking in every inch of the place in fascination. 

“What? No grocery stores down there?” Wonwoo questioned, giving him a nudge.

“Nothing like this,” he said. “At least not in my kingdom. It’s all open water markets down there.”

Wonwoo hummed in understanding and moved ahead of Mingyu, motioning him to follow.

“There’s markets like that up here too. Not very common around this part of the city though,” he said, strolling up to the closed off shelves of frozen foods.

An icy chill rolled out over them when he opened the door to one frozen compartment. He shivered and Mingyu immediately shuffled closer beside him. There was a gentle arm curling around his back, and then Mingyu’s calloused palm was running up and down his bicep— a simple motion to warm him up.

Mingyu’s caring gestures never failed to make his heart stutter for a second or two before returning to its usual cadence, and this time was no different.

He glanced up at him with a small, thankful smile, then turned back to throw in some frozen dinners into their cart.

It was somehow less unnerving to be like this in _public_ , rather than the confines of his current home.

No matter Bora’s own sexuality, or personality or rules, she was still family. She was a brief reminder to him of his mother, father, brother— people who wouldn’t stray far from his mind, and had him tensing in bouts of anxiety.

He was about to stroll down to another item on Bora’s grocery store list, when a familiar voice made him stop.

“Wonwoo? Mingyu?”

He glanced to his right to see a grinning Seungcheol wheeling his cart towards them.

Mingyu’s palms on his arms tightened in the tiniest fraction. If Wonwoo wasn’t so attuned to his touch, he wouldn’t even have noticed.

He already told Mingyu to be nice if they ran into their neighbour again, since Wonwoo obviously had no interest in him and there was no need to be all jealous. Mingyu had agreed—though clearly there was a tiny bit of leftover possessiveness leaking through the cracks. Still, he hid it well as he greeted Seungcheol before Wonwoo could.

“Hey,” he said, and Wonwoo blinked up to see Mingyu wearing an easygoing smile. “Grocery shopping as well?”

“Yeah. My parents will be out of town this week so I decided to invite some friends over. Need some snacks and stuff for that.”

“That sounds fun,” Mingyu said.

“Yeah, it might be the last time I get to see all their faces before college starts you know?” Seungcheol smiled, though his eyes lingered with traces of nostalgia. “Some of them are moving away pretty early in the summer…”

Mingyu and Wonwoo nodded in understanding.

“Anyway!” Seungcheol’s voice brightened quickly. “You guys can come if you want.”

“Oh we shouldn’t intrude when you’re hanging out with friends…” Mingyu slowly said.

“Oh no, you don’t need to worry about that. It’s not going to be just them there,” Seungcheol sighed and shook his head. “I mean, it was _supposed_ to be that. But people talk, things spread, and now I feel like my whole bloody grade will show up.” He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. “It’s too late to cancel. I just hope it doesn’t get too chaotic.”

Wonwoo tensed at Seungcheol’s words. The last time he went to a party, it did _not_ leave behind good memories.

He felt sick just thinking about it. The flash of lights and blaring music, Sana’s upsetting confession, the dread and anxiety pooling through his body as he ran home— he hated all of it. 

“Anyway, you guys should definitely come if you’re up for it,” Seungcheol shrugged. “People will start showing up around 9 or 10.” 

“Okay,” Mingyu answered, a little too eagerly for his liking.

Seungcheol then turned to him with raised brows. Maybe he could sense that Wonwoo really didn’t want to come. He was half expecting a comment on it, but then his eyes trailed down to their cart. “Anyway,” he said, “So what are you guys shopping for? Frozen dinners?” 

“Yeah… Bora’s really busy with work these days,” Wonwoo explained. “And we’re useless at cooking so...”

Seungcheol let out a deep chuckle at that. “Cooking is an important life skill you know?”

Wonwoo rolled his eyes while Mingyu’s back straightened. “You can cook?” His voice was curious as he peered at Seungcheol.

“Of course,” he said. “I’m pretty good at it too. You should learn.”

“Yeah, well some people are just shit at it,” Wonwoo interjected.

He had tried to cook a few times before. But even with the instructions, it hadn’t exactly gone according to plan. It was then that he decided he should just avoid the kitchen as much as possible if he didn’t want to give others (and himself) food poisoning in the future.

Seungcheol just laughed. “I guess so. Anyway, I’ll see you guys there?”

“Yeah probably,” Wonwoo said, voice tight. If Mingyu really wanted to go, they would go.

Once Seungcheol waved them bye and strolled off, they finished grabbing the rest of the items on Bora’s grocery list.

Everything was going smoothly, from the checkout at the cashier to bringing their stuff to Bora’s car. It’s only when they started unloading their groceries into back trunk, that he found himself looking at Mingyu in confusion.

Sweat had broken out over Mingyu’s brow as he lifted another box of groceries from the cart. His arms visibly trembled and he grimaced as he moved the box, placing it into the truck with a grunt.

Wonwoo glanced down at his own arms, at the box of food he was still holding. Whatever Mingyu had just placed in the car was really not different from what he was carrying with ease right now. Wonwoo just stood there for a few seconds and stared at Mingyu, dumbfounded.

Mingyu who took jogs and bike rides around the neighbourhood while Wonwoo refused to join him. Mingyu who easily scaled so many storeys of that water tank without breaking a sweat, all while Wonwoo was out of breath as he followed him up. Mingyu who’d been clearly more in shape since the moment they met.

And yet here Mingyu was, chest rising and falling with such heaviness, almost as if he’d finished an intense workout— all from carrying a few groceries?

“Are you okay?” Wonwoo asked, setting down the last box of groceries into the trunk, scanning over him.

“Huh?” Mingyu glanced at him, almost in surprise. “Oh! Um yeah… I-I’m fine,” he chuckled and scratched the back of his head. “Just feeling really tired lately. I don’t know why…”

Wonwoo frowned. “Do you want to go to the clinic? We can get it checked out and—”

“What? No!” Mingyu rapidly shook his head. “I really don’t need it. Don’t worry about it.”

“But—”

“Really, I’m _fine_. Probably just not getting good sleep or something. I might ask Bora for a change of pillows,” he laughed.

“Hmm, okay,” Wonwoo frowned. He headed to the driver’s seat trying to wash away his worry. Mingyu was probably right and it was nothing huge.

As they drove back home, Mingyu stared at him in awe, just as he’d done on the drive to the store. By now, he’d probably been in enough buses to not be so excited by a simple car ride. But he was definitely amazed by the fact that it was _Wonwoo_ driving.

“One day you can get a drivers’ license too,” Wonwoo said offhandedly when they were almost home.

He didn’t know why he said it. He almost regretted saying it. He didn’t know if Mingyu was even going to _stay_ up here. But something about the possibility of him leaving scared him more than he wanted to admit. The thought made his chest seize up slightly, and breathing was suddenly a little more difficult.

 _Don’t think about it_ , he scolded himself.

The coming Saturday, Mingyu and Wonwoo crossed the green canopies of trees that separated Bora and Seungcheol’s home. Even from the outside, they could hear the crowds of the party go-ers and Wonwoo gulped. There were a few kids outside too, doing god knows what on the front lawn.

They rang the doorbell and was greeted by a nervous looking neighbour who welcomed them inside.

“Is it already out of control?” Wonwoo asked knowingly at the look on Seungcheol’s face.

“Honestly, I feel like it’s getting there. I’m scared that— Hey! Watch the statues!” Seungcheol yelled, rushing past them out the door to the front lawn where those drunk teens were terrorizing the garden décor.

“Yikes,” Wonwoo muttered. “Do these sorts of parties happen down in the sea?” He nudged Mingyu by the elbow in question.

“Yep definitely does,” Mingyu grinned at him. “They really don’t change huh.”

Wonwoo gulped with a nod and followed Mingyu into the house once Seungcheol insured that nothing was going to be vandalized outside.

“Drinks?” Seungcheol asked, leading them towards the kitchen.

If the house wasn’t full of drunken kids, Wonwoo might’ve spent some time admiring how homey it looked. Despite having a similar exterior to Bora’s house, it had none of the sleek modern design-like interior of her place.

Instead the house held a soft, cozy sort of clutter, the walls were warm pastel hues, and photos and picture frames lined the walls and shelves. Seungcheol seemed to have a younger brother judging by the photos. Wonwoo briefly wondered where he was tonight.

There was a gentle nudge against his side, and he looked up to see Mingyu holding up a can.

“You want this?”

“Oh um,” Wonwoo pursed his lips together. It was just a peach flavored cooler, only 7 percent alcohol content. “Okay,” he said and took the drink.

He darted his eyes around the place, his bones tense and unable to relax. Simply being here, with the loud people and thumping music brought back the worst memories. He tried not to think so much, and turned to Mingyu who had taken a beer and was cringing a little as he took the first few sips.

“This is kinda gross,” he said.

Wonwoo almost laughed. “Then why did you take it? You should’ve gotten a cooler too.”

“I just wanted to try something different,” Mingyu pouted.

Before he could laugh at Mingyu a little more to distract himself of his nerves, Seungcheol interrupted their conversation. “Speaking of something different…” he said to the two of them, holding up a glass bottle of clear liquid. “Here, let’s take some shots.”

Wonwoo’s eyes widened. He’d never had anything more than a single, light alcoholic drink in a sitting, much less take shots. Before he could object or even think about what he had to do, Seungcheol was pouring the drink and a shot glass with clear liquid was being thrusted into his hand.

He glanced up to see Mingyu and Seungcheol already tipping their head back and downing their glass.

Mingyu grimaced and coughed right after.

“Ugh ew! That’s nasty,” he sputtered, wiping over his mouth with the back of his hand. “And it burns too.”

“The beauty of cheap vodka,” Seungcheol grinned. “Here, use your beer as a chaser,” he said, but Mingyu was already ahead of him, taking swigs of the canned beverage that he’d called gross just moments earlier.

Wonwoo glanced down at the substance in his palm. It looked so much like water bouncing around in its miniature cup. In the background he could hear the chime of the doorbell and Seungcheol saying he was going off to greet the people that had arrived.

“Hey, do you not want to take it?” Mingyu’s voice made him tilt his head back up. He wore a gentle smile.

“U-um well… I’ve never really done this before,” Wonwoo admitted. “I always avoided heavier alcohol cause swimming.” 

“Well, nothing wrong with trying something new,” Mingyu said with a lopsided grin, his canine tooth poking out attractively.

Wonwoo glanced down at the liquid once more uncertainly, and parted his lips. Before he could say anything in response, there was a sharp shove against his shoulders, and he stumbled sideways.

Mingyu immediately grabbed him, pulling him close against his chest.

“Hey watch it!” he scowled in the direction of the kids that had pushed him, glaring at them as they passed.

A bit of the vodka from the shot glass flecked Mingyu’s shirt in the rush, though he didn’t seem to pay it any mind. He only looked down at him, voice instantly softening. “You okay?”

“Y-yeah,” Wonwoo whispered, eyes wide at their sudden proximity. Their chests were nearly touching and Mingyu’s arms rested on his waist. They’d been closer than this in public, but only when barely anyone was around. Right now, they were in the midst of a crowded party, and Mingyu was still holding him close. His heart pounded with uncertainty. 

“If you don’t want to drink it, it’s okay,” Mingyu assured him, as though he thought that it was the idea of drinking that was making Wonwoo so anxious. “I’ll take it for you. It’s not a big deal.”

Mingyu’s hold on Wonwoo’s waist was firm, but not unescapable. Pulling away and being back to familiarity seemed like a good idea right about now—but all he really wanted was to press himself closer to Mingyu as if that was what would actually bring him to safety.

He took a heavy exhale to try and relax.

 _It’s okay,_ he told himself in reassurance. It was just strangers around them. People who knew nothing about him and didn’t care, so why should he care about them?

Wonwoo smiled up at him. “N-no, I’ll drink it. I’m just nervous I guess.”

With less hesitation this time, he brought the glass to his lips and let the alcohol burn down his esophagus.

“You’re right this does suck,” he wheezed once he lowered his glass. Wincing, he immediately took big gulps of his peach drink.

Mingyu just snickered, and ruffled his hair in comfort. “There there,” he said, shifting closer. And then his lips were against Wonwoo’s temple, fluttering and soft. Mingyu leaned back with that ever familiar, stupidly fond smile, he seemed to wear way too often whenever he looked at Wonwoo.

Somehow the bass that thumped against the walls and ceiling even harder than before was now in sync with his heartbeat.

Wonwoo’s cheeks burned.

“Aw aren’t you two cute,” a voice teased.

He jumped back from Mingyu, spinning around to a grinning Seungcheol.

“Shut up,” he grumbled, at the same time Mingyu said “thank you,” all matter-of-factly.

Seungcheol scanned over him, his teasing smile dissolving into pursed lips. He squinted almost suspiciously as he stepped closer to Wonwoo.

“Hey you’re already so red,” he said, reaching out to poke his cheek.

Mingyu immediately swatted his hand away.

Seungcheol only rolled his eyes at the gesture. “Yah you doofus, check your boyfriend’s face.”

_Boyfriend?_

Before he could deny, or object, Mingyu squished his cheeks between his thumb and forefinger and spun his head around to examine him.

“Whash on muy faysh?” Wonwoo asked, lips puffed out like a fish as Mingyu looked over him.

His head felt hot, the effects of drinking already taking hold of his brain. He was definitely a lightweight. Or just paranoid.

“Alcohol intolerance?” Mingyu muttered.

“Ding ding ding,” Seungcheol imitated a trivia sound effect for the right answer.

“Huh?” Wonwoo now questioned.

“Your body can’t break down alcohol… well the enzymes in it at least,” Mingyu explained.

“I know some people who have this,” Seungcheol added. “But it takes a bit more than a single shot and a cooler to get their face that red. Don’t drink any more unless you want to get rashes. 

Wonwoo frowned.

Somehow he’d been looking forward to drinking more. After that initial shot, his confidence had boosted dramatically, his nerves dissipating altogether.

“B-but…”

“No,” Seungcheol and Mingyu said at the same time, which had him pouting at the ground. This was a travesty of sorts for sure.

“Aww no it’s okay, we’ll do other things yeah?” Mingyu ruffled his hair once again.

“Drugs?” Seungcheol mused.

Mingyu shot him a glare.

“Kidding,” he laughed. “Why don’t you two go play pool?”

“Pool?” Mingyu frowned and shook his head rapidly. “Oh no, we _definitely_ can’t do that!” 

“Why not?” Seungcheol frowned. “It’s okay if you suck at it. You’re gonna be against a bunch of drunk kids anyway.”

“Wait, what are you talking about?” Mingyu blankly stared at their neighbour.

Despite Wonwoo’s disappointment at the fact that he was freaking _intolerant_ to alcohol, he couldn’t help but start giggling. The giggles turned into full blown laughter when Mingyu turned to him with an equally confused frown and weakly stammered, “I mean… w-we didn’t bring swimsuits.”

“N-not _that_ kind of pool Mingyu,” he wheezed between laughs.

Before Seungcheol could say anything else, he grabbed Mingyu by the arm, heading towards the pool table he saw in a spare room that had a giant flat screen tv on the wall.

He ignored Seungcheol faintly calling out after them, “Wait, this kid doesn’t know what pool is?”

Wonwoo shook his head with another quiet laugh.

They stopped a couple feet away from the table. It wasn’t too crowded around here.

“This is called a pool table Mingyu,” Wonwoo said. “And the game they’re playing with those sticks? That’s a game of pool.

After a few minutes of Wonwoo thoroughly explaining how to play, Mingyu was clearly eager to try it. The game before them had just finished up, and one of the girls that played was glancing around.

“If you’re done can I take it?” Mingyu smiled at her, pointing to the cue stick in her hands.

“O-oh um, I said I’d give it to a friend next,” she stared at Mingyu with wide eyes, “I don’t know where she is though and…” she faltered, her cheeks flushing red under his gaze.

Wonwoo narrowed his eyes at the charming smile Mingyu was giving her, canine tooth visible and all.

“Maybe she doesn’t want to play anymore,” Mingyu suggested.

“M-maybe.” 

“So can I have it?” he held out his hand, voice lower than usual.

There was a beat of silence between them, then she blurted out “S-sure!” and practically shoved the cue stick into his hands.

Mingyu beamed and turned away from them to face the pool table.

Wonwoo facepalmed.

The boy he was going to play against had been getting the balls all gathered up at the center. Mingyu was reaching into the pool pockets closest to him to help set up, when a loud voice approached them and he stilled.

“Lisa, I thought you said I could play after you!” A red haired girl appeared to Wonwoo’s right, glaring at said girl who had just given away her pool stick.  
  
“I didn’t know where you were!” the girl, apparently named Lisa, responded defensively.

“I went to the bathroom. Couldn’t you have waited like two seconds? I wanted a rematch,” the red-head grumbled. “Who even took it from you?”

Mingyu spun around from the table to face the two of them.

“I’m sorry, it was my fault,” he admitted.

His lips curled into an apologetic smile and his eyes were docile and soft as ever. He had this uncanny resemblance to Sol when he was trying to get more dog treats from them.

“I’ve never actually played before, so I was excited to try,” Mingyu continued. “But it’s okay if you go—”

The red-head girl’s eyes went wide and she interrupted him, exclaiming, “O-oh, no no, it’s fine! It’s not a big deal at all!” 

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t mind…”

“No really, you should play!” she rushed out. “I already played before tonight so…”

Mingyu tilted his head at her. “Thank you, you’re so sweet.” He turned to the other girl to add, “Both of you.”

The two girls glanced at each other, giggling shyly and looking at the ground.

“It’s really no problem.” Lisa blushed.

Mingyu shot them another charming and toothy smile, and now Wonwoo kicked him in the back of his shin. He ignored the confused looks the girls gave him as Mingyu winced in pain. He glanced back at Wonwoo with a sheepish, almost remorseful grin.

Wonwoo rolled his eyes. “Just play already,” he said.

Mingyu flirting and using his looks just to get his way for something so childish, was so like him, it almost amused him. Almost.

As the game began, Wonwoo was impressed by how good Mingyu was for this being his first time.

“What the heck, I wanted to make fun of you for being so bad,” Wonwoo huffed.

Leave it to Mingyu to always shatter his expectations.

Partway through the game, Wonwoo needed to use the bathroom. He told Mingyu where he was going, before walking off to find someone who could help him out.

He knew he could ask any random person at the party until one could tell him, but he just couldn’t muster up the courage to ask. There was always something— they were in a conversation and he didn’t want to interrupt. They were going somewhere, and he didn’t want to stop them. They were just too drunk to help, et cetera, et cetera.

Back in highschool, his popularity as a star athlete and esteemed membership of the swim team was like a shield against his sheer nervousness when talking to strangers. But here, he was defenceless and exposed.

He gulped and scanned through the rooms as he made his way across the house, debating at who looked friendly enough to approach.

As he walked down the hallway towards the front of the house, his eyes at last landed on the one other familiar face in this place.

Seungcheol.

He was with someone else, standing between the front door and stairs that led to the second floor. They were directly at the junction that connected the hallway, and entry way to both the living room on the left, and dining room on the right.

Wonwoo squinted and made his way towards them.

 _Oh wait_ , was Seungcheol with…?

Wonwoo had only seen the guy once, but there weren’t many high school boys with shoulder-length hair here. And few people were as pretty as him.

Jeonghan, Seungcheol’s ex, stood before him with a bag held out.

By now Wonwoo was close enough to hear their conversation. And he was hyper aware of the party-goers milling about the area, discreetly watching those two with the sense that they couldn’t wait to rush to their friends and gleefully spread whatever would happen. A few hushed murmurs passed through here and there.

“You came here to return my stuff to me?” Seungcheol asked. His back was turned to him, but he couldn’t have been looking too friendly judging by his flat and lifeless voice.

“Yes,” Jeonghan said, lips pursed.

Seungcheol shook his head. “You could have just thrown it away. Donated it.”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes. “As much as I’d love to be that bitch that burns your stuff, I realized recently how much you actually liked this stupid hoodie from your dream university. Um y’know? The school you’re going to go to this fall?”

He punctuated every syllable of that last sentence, his voice almost mocking.

“Jeonghan I—”

“Anyway, take it and do whatever you want with it,” he interrupted, shoving the bag into his hands. “Goodbye Seungcheol.”

He turned around, ready to take his leave, but a voice made him stop. 

“Well well, who would’ve thought Yoon Jeonghan would show up here.”

A boy with icy blonde hair that gleamed a near white in the light, emerged from the living room.

Seungcheol’s frame went taught, his muscles tense.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, hands curling into fists at his sides.

The blonde boy shot him a lopsided smirk.

“Was I talking to you?” he said, sidling up beside Jeonghan.

Jeonghan’s face showed no reaction, even as the blonde boy slung an arm around his shoulders.

“Get out of my house,” Seungcheol gritted out.

There had never been a time when he heard this much venom in Seungcheol’s voice, and even though it wasn’t directed towards him, he jumped a little.

“And get your hands off of him or I’ll…”

“Or you’ll what?” the blonde boy chuckled. “Last time I checked, you’re not even going out with Jeonghan anymore. Isn’t that right? Do you have any right to tell me not to touch him?”

He turned to Jeonghan with a smirk that bordered sleezy, hands moving from his shoulder to his back.

Jeonghan’s face was inscrutable, though for a split second Wonwoo could swear his body went rigid.

“He’s right,” Jeonghan finally said and looked straight at Seungcheol, his eyes maintaining an icy front. “We’re not even together anymore. So why do you care?”

“Jeonghan…” he said weakly. “Come on, don’t do this.”

“As far as I’m concerned, we're not part of each other’s lives anymore. So I’ll do whatever I want thanks,” he said.

He then looked at the blonde boy, and slapped his hands away. “And get your filthy paws off of me,” he snarled with a shove.

The blonde boy’s eyes widened and he began backing away. His cocky demeanor dissipated almost instantly, and Wonwoo was tempted to laugh.

Seungcheol immediately stepped between the blonde boy and Jeonghan, separating them further. Jeonghan ignored the gesture and simply blew a strand of hair that had fallen over his face with annoyance as he stared down at his shoes— his laces had come undone and he crouched down to tie them.

Wonwoo could see Seungcheol from the side now. His eyes and lips were twisted in a grimace, almost like he was in pain as he stood before Jeonghan— like he was fighting with himself at what to do.

Wonwoo stepped closer towards them.

Seungcheol’s eyes suddenly flickered towards Wonwoo, maybe catching his movement in his peripherals. His jaw tensed as their gazes locked.

As they looked at each other in silence, it brought Wonwoo back to the day at the fair, and the words they had exchanged.

Seungcheol’s dark eyes flickered with recognition, and he knew they were thinking the same thing too.

He gently smiled, and Seungcheol’s features softened, his clenched jaw relaxing. He turned back to face Jeonghan who had gotten up.

“This will probably be the last time we see each other,” Jeonghan said with finality. “Have fun at your party.”

With that, he turned around and twisted the front doorknob. But before he could open the door any more than a few inches, Seungcheol’s hands moved over Jeonghan’s, holding the knob still.

Jeonghan blinked up at him in surprise.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

Wonwoo couldn’t hear what was said next from this distance, as Seungcheol’s voice dropped to an inaudible whisper— but the words were clear from the movement of his lips.

 _‘Don’t go_.’

Jeonghan’s eyes widened.

“I don’t… I don’t want you to go,” Seungcheol said louder now.

“Are you drunk?”

“No.”

Seungcheol stepped closer, moving Jeonghan’s hands away from the door.

“You… you said we’re not together,” Seungcheol’s voice was pained as he spoke, his eyes almost desperate. “And that I shouldn’t care. But that’s the thing. I do care. I care so much.” 

“W-what are you even saying?” Jeonghan looked away. “Stop being crazy.”

Seungcheol gently turned his face with the pads of his fingers, so that their eyes could meet again.

“Jeonghan, I’m saying…” his voice was low and raspy with emotion. “I love you. I _still_ love you.”

Wonwoo sucked in a breath.

Jeonghan stared at him for a few prolonged seconds in stunned silence. Then his eyes turned glassy as he whispered, voice thin and harsh, “Y-you broke up with me.”

“I know.”

“You’re terrible,” Jeonghan’s voice cracked at the end. He was crying now. 

“I know,” Seungcheol repeated, stepping closer to take Jeonghan in his arms. He didn’t push him away, and only sobbed silently against his shoulders.

Wonwoo swallowed heavily. Something about this exchange, the words Seungcheol said, made him feel sick and scared and pained— all at the same time.

_I love you._

The words weren’t directed at him, but just hearing it said aloud, and seeing it, was too much for him to take. He rarely heard these three words between his family. And it was definitely _not_ in the way Seungcheol said it to Jeonghan. He’d never even heard his parents say it to each other.

And yet… he still spent so long wondering, if one day, someone could feel that way _for him_.

For the longest time, he desperately wanted Soonyoung to. Only to feel sick with guilt about it right after for even wanting that.

No one would love Wonwoo like that. He didn’t deserve it.

But he still wished they would.

_Even if he didn’t deserve it._

His chest clenched painfully as if someone was trying to squeeze it until it burst. He took a few steps backward, before spinning around and speed-walking down the hallway, the need to use the bathroom long since forgotten.

His thoughts and emotions were moving all in a blur, and the next thing he knew he was colliding straight into someone else.

He let out a small ‘ _oof’_ and blinked back up, only to come face to face with Mingyu.

“There you are!” Mingyu exclaimed with a grin. “I was wondering where you went.”

Wonwoo parted his lips to respond, but nothing coherent came out. “Oh… um I… um…” he stammered.

“Hey, you okay?” Mingyu tilted his head and peered at him closer. “Did something happen?

Wonwoo shook his head. “N-nothing happened…” and then to divert the focus from himself, he added, “though Seungcheol is having quite a night.” 

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“His ex came to the party, and well… stuff happened. They might or might not be together again.”

“Wild,” Mingyu murmured.

Wonwoo laughed, struggling to sound as casual as possible. “Yeah tell me about it.”

He tried to wipe out the image of Jeonghan in his mind, of how his eyes were so filled with emotions when Seungcheol told him his feelings. He didn’t need that in his life.

“Anyway, how did the pool game go?” Wonwoo asked to change the topic. “It finished earlier than I thought it would.”

“Good,” Mingyu said. “Though I lost.”

Wonwoo frowned at this clipped response. He was expecting Mingyu to blab on and on about the game and how he was actually really good for a first time player. But none of that came.

“Hey man,” the guy that Mingyu had played against suddenly approached them when they were back in the kitchen. “You good?” he asked Mingyu. “Do you want a glass of water or something?”

“No I’m fine, don’t worry,” Mingyu waved him off. 

Wonwoo’s frown deepened as he glanced back and forth between the two of them. “Why? What happened?”

“Oh we had to cut the game short,” the guy explained. “He wasn’t feeling well. Anyway, glad you’re better now.” 

“Thanks,” Mingyu smiled, before the guy gave him a pat on the back and walked off to his friends.

Wonwoo turned to Mingyu with a scowl on his face. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He smiled at him sheepishly. “I didn’t want you to worry. It wasn’t a big deal. I just got a bit dizzy.”

“Dizzy…” Wonwoo frowned, “…again?”

“Yeah I guess.”

“Okay, we have to go to the clinic tomorrow.”

Mingyu sighed. “I’m telling you it’s probably nothing.”

“But you keep having these random dizzy spells, and feel super tired some days,” Wonwoo said. “It’s not normal Mingyu! Maybe you’re deficient in some nutrient or whatever. Or you’re anemic!”

“I’m not anemic,” Mingyu frowned. “We have healthcare down in the sea too you know?”

“Okay, well whatever it is we should solve it, yeah?”

“Okay fine fine,” Mingyu relented. “Can we go home now?”

Wonwoo exhaled in relief, and smiled. “I was gonna ask the same thing. Yeah, let’s go.”

“Are you guys leaving to the clinic now?” Bora asked them. She hung her head back on the sofa at an awkward angle to look at them.

Today was a rare Saturday which she didn’t have work, and was currently streaming a show on Netflix on her Smart TV.

“Yep,” Wonwoo said. He’d already explained to her about Mingyu’s little problems, and how he figured it was best to check it out.

She nodded in understanding and was letting Wonwoo borrow her car again.

Mingyu was already at the door, crouching down to tie up his shoes.

He was beyond quiet today— practically silent, and it was unnerving. He was never like this. The Mingyu he’d grown accustomed to was childish, spoke nonstop, and giggled and made dumb comments about practically everything.

Was he upset at Wonwoo for making him go see a doctor? Was that why he was so quiet?

Wonwoo pressed his lips into a thin line. Whatever. It didn’t matter. Whether Mingyu wanted to go visit the doctor’s or not, it had to be done.

However, that wasn’t the _only_ thing off about him today.

There was also his skin tone.

Mingyu’s skin was always so vividly tan and golden; it practically glowed in the light. But today… his skin carried this oddly pale and sickly pallor that Wonwoo had never seen on him before. He hoped whatever the problem was, wasn’t too serious.

“Bye Bora,” Wonwoo called out, and grabbed the car keys from the counter.

“See you!”

“Wonwoo,” Mingyu suddenly called out to him from the front door, an unmistakable tremble in his voice that he’d never heard before.

Wonwoo’s eyes widened, and he spun around from the counter with alarm. “What’s wrong? What is it?” he asked, rapidly making his way down the hallway towards him.

“I… I don’t feel so—”

Mingyu didn’t get to finish the sentence. 

In a split of a second, his eyes fluttered shut in a sickly sort of way.

The next thing Wonwoo knew, Mingyu’s body was crumpling to the floor with a thud before him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter and Happy Halloween! *^*  
> Thank you for the kudos and comments as always :)


	10. Mascaret I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo didn’t know how his life became a constant headlong collision course, but he doesn’t really need all these surprises.

One second Mingyu was waiting for him by the front door, ready to go to the clinic together.

The next second, he was laying crumpled on the floor, unconscious.

Wonwoo’s stomach dropped.

He could barely hear himself screaming Mingyu’s name as he broke out into a run towards him.

“What happened?!” Bora’s voice cut through the hallway, the thuds of her footsteps hard and fast right behind him.

His heart hammered against his chest, as if someone were trying to crack it open as he crouched down next to Mingyu. He took Mingyu by the shoulders, and his body was limp against Wonwoo’s arms as he turned him up to face the ceiling.

“Mingyu, Mingyu wake up,” he repeated, shaking him by the shoulders. “Mingyu come on, get up.”

He frantically looked up and Bora was already pulling out her phone. Was she calling the ambulance?

It was getting difficult to breathe. Wonwoo sucked in a gulp of air and his vision grew unfocused. His head spun and it was as though the floor was tilting to the side.

“I don’t know what happened,” he choked out. “I knew he wasn’t feeling too well, and I said we had to go see the doctor but…”

“Wonwoo check his breathing,” Bora snapped to him as she waited for someone to pick up the phone.

He blinked rapidly. He’d been freaking out so much, it hadn’t even crossed his mind.

“R-right,” he stammered.

He was about to lean down to look for the rise and fall of Mingyu’s chest, when he froze at the sight before him.

A broken gasp came up his esophagus, choked between his heavy breaths.

On the edge of Mingyu’s cheeks, shimmering cracks formed, almost as though part of his face were made of broken shards.

The fragments glinted in the light for a second, and then fell down to the floor as if his skin was flaking off. He sucked in a sharp breath at the particles that lay gleaming against the laminate floor.

They were… _scales_?

“W-what the,” he whispered.

“Fei?” Bora’s voice broke him out of his part confused, part panicked trance.

Wonwoo shot his head up. She hadn’t called the ambulance?

“Yeah, listen this is urgent. We’re having a situation with Mingyu,” she explained, her eyes trained on his unconscious body. Her voice was clear and level, though her movements remained on edge with her free hand resting in a clenched fist against her folded legs.

He looked back down at Mingyu, tuning out Bora’s voice as she explained the situation to her girlfriend. Why was she explaining it to _her_ , of all people? Why was it not a 911 operator?

He leaned down to properly check Mingyu’s breathing, eyes landing on those scale-like fragments that had fallen from his skin. 

What the hell were those?

_Should they even call 911?_

He wasn’t even relieved at the way Mingyu’s breaths hit his cheek, only tensing at how shallow they were— like every exhale took too much energy for him to let out.

Sweat was breaking out over Mingyu’s sickly skin.

More scales appeared on his arms, his hands, at the sides of his legs. And every few seconds, the soft patter of those fragments hitting the floor ebbed into the air.

It’s like Mingyu’s skin was crumbling away right before his very eyes, even if it appeared fully intact. Upon closer look, the spots were the fragments had chipped off were an unhealthy white _…_ Mingyu’s skin was supposed to be beautifully tan and golden. None of this made sense. What did that even mean? Of course it couldn’t be anything good from the way his breaths were growing increasingly flat, and weaker by the second.

“Wonwoo,” Bora sharply said.

He blinked up at his aunt. The lines of her face curved deep, and were set in hardened determination. She seemed older in this moment, more so than he’d ever thought of her.

“You have to get Mingyu to the bathroom,” she told him. “When you get him there, place him in the bathtub and fill it with hot water.

The bathroom? Water?

Why any of this was happening, was beyond him. He just wanted Mingyu to be okay.

_Would he be okay?_

Wonwoo’s body trembled in pure adrenaline coursing fear at that thought.

Without another word or question, he pushed himself up and hoisted Mingyu upright.

Similar to the day he’d dragged Mingyu from the stormy beach and into this very house, he did the same today with Mingyu’s arm slung over his shoulders.

Mingyu’s weight still overwhelmed him as he brought him up to their shared bathroom. His feet knocked against the ledge of every step on the stair as he dragged him there.

Wonwoo momentarily squeezed his eyes shut to drown out the faint clatter of shimmering fragments tumbling from Mingyu’s skin and hitting the hardwood floors as they moved.

The moment they entered the room, he rushed to shove Mingyu into the bathtub. Between heavy exhales from lugging this big merman up a flight of stairs, and from the nerves racing through him of the thought of losing Mingyu altogether— he twisted open the bathtub tap, letting hot water rush out, over Mingyu’s crumbling, pallid skin.

Wonwoo could only plug the drain and wait after that, letting the tub gradually fill up. Not a minute later, Bora burst through the door with a huge, bright yellow plastic bag that looked like a sack of soil or cement, hoisted on her shoulder. He peered closer at the labels, eyes blinking wide as he read _‘Rock Salt’_.

“Salt?” he questioned. “Like what you put on the road in winter?”

“Yes,” his aunt said tightly. She dropped the bag with a thud on the tilted floor, particles of dusts billowing into the air and shimmering in afternoon light that was streaming through the wide windows next to the tub. “It rarely ever snows here, but there were a few winters where my porch and back patio got a little icy. So I had it in the garage just in case.”

Crouching down beside the bag, she pulled out her phone and pursed her lips. She kept muttering what sounded like numbers under her breath as she looked between her phone and the labels on the bag.

Wonwoo stared down at her with wide eyes, heart beating recklessly in his chest.

Mingyu was sitting unconscious in the tub, head lolling to the side. Wonwoo replayed his rapid and shallow breaths in his head over and over.

_What was Bora doing?_

He wanted to scream. Shake her and tell her to do something to fix this. Because he had no idea what was going on.

Wonwoo’s eyes began to prickle and burn, and his throat was so dry it was as though sandpaper had been scraped across the roof. The entirety of the bathroom was spinning around him, and he sucked in a breath of air as if that could make the spinning stop.

“Wonwoo,” Bora looked up at him, her sharp eyes seemed to soften a little after her gaze stayed on him for a few prolonged seconds. Maybe she saw that he was on the verge of melting down, because she suddenly reached up, tugging his arm to crouch down with the bag of salt between them.

“Calm down,” she said, her eyes unwavering. “He’ll be okay.”

She gave his fingers a firm squeeze, and Wonwoo gulped. He hadn’t realized his hands were trembling until she released the hold on him and moved to tear open the plastic bag.

“Help me dump it into the bath,” she said. “Stop when I tell you. We’ll use about half of it.”

He nodded.

He needed to get a grip. With a heavy exhale he followed her lead to lift the bag and tip over the crystal white rocks into the water.

The hiss of salt hitting hot water filled the air, cutting through the rush of the tap. Before Wonwoo could register that he’d forgotten to take off Mingyu’s pants, the sound of fabric tearing rang through the room. Whatever Mingyu had been wearing waist-down, floated as ragged and torn cloth in the water. His tail glinted like silver in the light, taking up the entirety of the tub and dangling out at the end. His tail lacked all its usual breathtaking rainbow shimmer and colour that it normally would.

“We have to submerge him further in the water,” Bora said beside him as she fished out his torn clothes from the tub and tossed it into the garbage. She hovered over Mingyu who was limp as a ragdoll and said, “Wonwoo help me take off his shirt.”

“O-okay,” he stammered as Bora lifted Mingyu’s arms and he struggled to wrangle off his shirt. He tried not to look at the patches of bruising white all along Mingyu’s chest and arms. Once the cloth was out of the way, they both pushed Mingyu down by the shoulders, further into the water that was steadily rising.

“What do we do after this?” Wonwoo turned to Bora in question as they were bent over to hold Mingyu down.

“We wait.”

He gulped heavily.

Eventually with the tub filled, they released the hold on his shoulders and Bora turned off the tap.

With a sigh, she sat down on the tiled floor, leaning on the separate shower compartment next to the bathtub.

It was almost eerie, standing there in tense silence before the tub, watching Mingyu’s seemingly lifeless body and simply waiting and waiting for him to wake and move. The only movement in the bathroom was Bora occasionally checking Mingyu’s breathing.

Time passed in excruciatingly long and painful seconds. Bora told him at one point that he could leave, and that she would tell him when Mingyu woke up.

He only shook his head and stayed frozen still in front of the tub. He ignored Bora’s soft sigh.

He could only hope that she said ‘ _when_ Mingyu woke up’ not just to reassure him. Maybe she meant it though, because the white patches along Mingyu’s skin were slowly but surely fading.

Wonwoo had no sense of how long had passed— but the moment Mingyu’s long lashes fluttered with a glint in the sunlight, his breath caught in his throat.

He dropped down to his knees beside the tub, legs pretty much giving away beneath him in a mixture of exhaustion and relief.

“Mingyu,” he whispered, voice rapidly closing up.

Mingyu let out a quiet groan, as if he were slowly waking up from a long nap. His eyelids trembled open, and he tilted his head towards Wonwoo.

He looked as sick and wearied as Wonwoo felt, but despite that, his lips quivered upwards.

“Hey,” he said with a weak smile.

Wonwoo leaned back with wide eyes.

“H-hey?” his voice wobbled, and vision blurred altogether. Without warning, fat blobs of tears dribbled down his cheeks. “That’s what you say, after you nearly bloody _died_?” Wonwoo choked out between his tears as he clutched the edge of the bathtub.

“Died?” Mingyu let out a shaky chuckle. “Was it really that bad?”

“Yes! Yes it was you idiot!” Wonwoo practically yelled out, voice cracked and frayed with every syllable. “You were barely…” he hiccupped, “…barely breathing at one point.”

Mingyu’s exhausted features hardened slightly, and with an unsteady hand he cupped Wonwoo’s jaw. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” He pulled Wonwoo as close as he could with the tub in the way, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

Wonwoo sniffed loudly and rested his head against the crook of Mingyu’s neck.

“You gave us quite the scare Mingyu,” Bora spoke over his loud sniffles in the otherwise silent bathroom. Wonwoo closed his eyes, burying his nose against Mingyu’s skin and taking in his familiar scent. “Anyway, I’ll get you a towel and bathrobe.” Bora’s footsteps thumped across the tiled floor before the door shut behind them.

He didn’t move at all in the minutes she was gone, only sighing at how Mingyu pressed a kiss against the crown of his head as if to reassure him that he was okay.

Yes, it was selfish of himself to be like this right now, when _he_ should be the one taking care of Mingyu instead— but he couldn’t help closing his eyes in relief as Mingyu’s fingers carded through his hair as they sat in the silence. He was being really useless.

Even as the doorbell rang, he barely registered it until Mingyu murmured aloud, “I wonder who that could be.”

His question was answered moments later with the click of the bathroom door.

“Mingyu?”

Wonwoo’s eyes snapped open. The voice was familiar, but it wasn’t Bora’s. He immediately turned his head to the side to see Fei approaching them. Bora was right behind her.

“W-wait, wuh-what are you…” Wonwoo stammered, frantically glancing at the two women and then back at Mingyu.

They hadn’t really spoken about how Mingyu being a merman needed to be kept a _secret_ , but he always figured it was just an unsaid rule between the three of them. Mere common sense.

His mind flipped back to the phone call to Fei that Bora had made the moment Mingyu collapsed.

What’s more is that Fei’s eyes were as calm as a still reflection against water as she approached them and knelt down beside Wonwoo.

There wasn’t a trace of surprise in her voice as she softly asked Mingyu, “Are you okay?”

Bora stood behind her after setting down Mingyu’s towel and bathrobe next to the tub, and Wonwoo forced himself to peel away from Mingyu’s touch and stare at the women in bewilderment.

Mingyu seemed flustered underneath their gazes as he let out a nervous and weak chuckle.

“I-I mean I’ve felt better… but I’m okay I guess,” he said.

“That’s good,” Fei nodded. “Are you um… _aware_ of what happened? Why you collapsed?”

“I guess I felt really weak and tired these past couple of days. But I don’t know why exactly,” Mingyu frowned. “I’ve been eating fine. Getting some exercise too.”

“I see…” Fei murmured. “Have you gone in the ocean lately?”

“Huh?” Mingyu looked at her in surprise. “O-of course not! I mean I… I _can’t._ Because I um, I ran away from home. They’re trying to get me to come back, so it’s kind of well, not good for me to enter the ocean.”

“I see. So that’s why you ended up like this,” Fei sighed.

“Huh?”

“You collapsed because you didn’t go in the ocean Mingyu.”

Wonwoo sucked in a sharp breath. What on earth was Fei saying?

Mingyu’s eyes widened. “I don’t… I don’t understand.”

“You didn’t get taught this at school?”

“Get taught what?” Mingyu weakly asked, clearly just as lost and confused as Wonwoo was at the moment.

“Merpeople’s bodies have this special layer built into their skin that lets them breathe and function in the water,” Fei said, her eyes gentle.

“I know that,” Mingyu frowned. “We learn in biology,”

“But you didn’t learn about what happens to that layer on land did you?”

Mingyu stared at Fei blankly, who simply smiled at him as though he was a little kid she was concerned about and needed to take care of.

“Saltwater replenishes that special coat on your skin and lets it function properly,” Fei continued explaining. “When you’re away from saltwater for too long, like you would be on land, in order to keep that layer active, your body starts feeding on your stores of energy.”

“Woah okay,” Mingyu knocked his head a little, clearly trying to process all this. “So… I collapsed because of lack of saltwater?”

“Yes.”

“A-and as long as I stay up here, I’ll have to make sure I go in saltwater? Maybe forever?”

“No, not exactly,” Fei shook her head. “Your special coat will slowly degenerate the less time you spend in saltwater. Your body will naturally stop trying to keep the layer active, the more you get accustomed to the land. As long as it’s gradual, and you’re not depriving yourself of saltwater _completely_ , your body won’t go into alarm mode and shut down like it did today. It’ll take a year or two before the layer goes completely inactive. And once it does, your tail will stop appearing too.”

Mingyu stared at her stunned, and Wonwoo mirrored the action. 

Mingyu could become just like him, just like _any_ land person, the more he stayed up here? This new information was seemingly earth shattering to Wonwoo who always perceived the distance between them as worlds apart. They were two different people, with two vastly different lives and stories. Two people that didn’t exactly belong in the same corner of the universe.

But. For the first time, they weren’t so different.

And for the first time, he let a single thought plant itself in his mind. He let it germinate and grow, and bloom just this once— this thought that he’d been pretending didn’t exist for weeks. The thought that he wanted to keep Mingyu up here. He wanted Mingyu to be _his._ He didn’t want Mingyu to go back. And almost losing him today, only made Wonwoo want to hold onto him tighter.

Without any remaining hesitation, he shakily reached up to grip onto Mingyu’s forearm that rested against the ledge of the tub.

At this touch, Mingyu’s eyes trailed towards him.

His brows furrowed in worry, and he moved his free hand to gently unfurl Wonwoo’s fingers that gripped him. He overturned his hands and let their palms slide together until their fingers were intertwined. The tense muscles in Wonwoo’s body relaxed, even if just a little.

Mingyu turned back to Fei and asked, “How do you know all this?”

“My mother,” Fei smiled. “She was like you.”

“A mermaid?” Mingyu said in awe.

“Yes. When she was an adult, she left the ocean to live up here. When I got older, she told me all about her life in the sea and what it was like for her when she came up.”

“So what about you? Are you like a half-mermaid or whatever?”

Fei laughed, her voice breathy and quiet in the still air of the bathroom. “Not at all. When two people— one from the land and one from the sea, have a child, that child doesn’t inherit any traits of merpeople.”

“Oh,” Mingyu frowned, seemingly disappointed by the fact. “I see…”

“I’m surprised you don’t know any of this though,” Fei tilted her head in thought. “You weren’t taught?”

“No…”

“That’s strange. I mean, my mother said she learned all this in highschool down in her kingdom.”

Mingyu frowned. “It might be because there’s been some changes in many merpeople kingdoms in the past decade.”

“Oh…? What kind of changes?”

“They don’t teach kids about the land anymore. I think it’s to stop giving merpeople knowledge to leave the sea. Soon, I think they might ban people from going up altogether.”

“I see,” Fei murmured.

“Hey um…” Mingyu’s voice dropped to a sudden whisper, almost as though he was scared of simply voicing these words aloud. “Has your mom lost her tail completely?”.

Fei pressed her lips into a thin line. “My mother left with no plans to return. So yes, she has.”

Mingyu’s shoulders sagged at those words. It was only for a second, maybe even less, but Wonwoo didn’t miss that flash of hurt and fear in his eyes. Maybe Fei saw it too, because she immediately jumped in to reassure him, “Of course don’t be alarmed by that. There are those out there that choose not to do that, because they want to go back to visit. Though…” she frowned, and let her voice drift off.

“Though what?” Mingyu asked.

“Oh I was just thinking, that um, with these changes you were talking about…” Fei said slowly, “I can’t help but wonder if it might affect whether visitors from the land are allowed to enter the kingdoms or not.”

Mingyu looked away, his eyes distant like he was lost in thought. “Yeah… I wonder too…”

“Anyway,” she got up with some finality and gently smiled down at him. “I have to get going now, but I’m always here if you need someone to talk to about this okay? Bora can give you my number. I can also ask my mom if you ever want to talk with her.”

Mingyu blinked up at her. “Thank you,” he said. “For saving me. For everything.”

“It was no trouble. I’m glad you’re okay.” With a smile she stepped back, and Bora moved from where she’d been leaning against the wall to stand beside her. 

“I’ll be showing Fei out now,” she said to both of them. “Just drain and clean the bathtub when you’re done.” 

Bora’s eyes seemed to linger on Wonwoo, and flickered down to where his hands were clasping Mingyu’s. On impulse, he pulled his hands away.

The tear tracks on his face had dried by now. And the surging emotions plowing through every bone in his body had died down, leaving only a weak and anxious core in place. He shouldn’t have acted like that when Mingyu got hurt. It’s not as if he could help it. But _still_. His aunt saw all of that. If she was suspicious of his so-called friendship with Mingyu now, he wouldn’t be surprised.

He turned away from her— but the moment his eyes locked with Mingyu’s, his heart sank. Mingyu’s lips were set in a line and his eyes drooped in disappointment.

How could he have just thought all of that? He was really the worst. 

Fei and Bora’s footsteps grew faint as they travelled out of the bathroom and down the stairs, and they were alone once again.

Mingyu was no longer looking at him. He absentmindedly swayed his hands through the bath water, creating ripples around him.

There were many things they should probably talk about, but Wonwoo’s didn’t know where to start. No words were coming out.

Suddenly Fei’s and Mingyu’s conversation rang through his mind.

_“They’re trying to get me to come back, so it’s kind of well, not good, for me to enter the ocean.”_

Wonwoo frowned.

Who was this ‘ _they’_ , Mingyu talked about?

“Mingyu,” Wonwoo said, voice barely above a whisper.

“Yeah?”

“Remember what you said to me at the fair?”

Mingyu’s pupils seemed to waver in understanding at his words, reflecting the pool of the bouncing white bathwater.

“Do you still not want to tell me?” Wonwoo weakly asked.

“That’s not it,” Mingyu grunted. “I’m just... thinking.”

Wonwoo shakily smiled. “You don’t have to worry about what I’ll think, you know that right? I won’t judge you.”

There was a long pause after that, like they had reached a standstill in the conversation, and he could only wait expectantly.

Eventually, Mingyu let out a long, weary sigh.

“You know all those heavy expectations your family places on you?” he said. “Of who you should be, who you can’t be, your future and everything...?”

Wonwoo blinked at him, confused as to where this was going. “Y-yeah?”

“Well mine is no different,” he said.

Wonwoo’s chest ached at the sad curl of Mingyu’s lips. He reached across the tub and placed a careful hand over his shoulder.

Mingyu shifted his eyes from the water, onto Wonwoo’s hand that rested against his skin. Slowly, he turned until they were facing each other. His eyes were deep pools of black ink that were stark against the filtering sunlight, and Wonwoo held his breath, simply waiting and trusting Mingyu to open up to him.

At last, he parted his lips and spoke.

“My parents they... well there’s some stuff that you should probably understand about them. And I guess, about me.”

“Like what?” he asked in the pin drop silence.

“I’ve told you before that mermaids live in small kingdoms all over the ocean, usually close to the land, right?”

“Yeah, you did…”

“The place where I’m from, it’s a kingdom called Aquna,” Mingyu said. “Basically, my parents are the _rulers_ of Aquna. Like... they’re the king and queen.”

Wonwoo’s eyes widened. He was expecting for Mingyu to tell him a lot of things, but this wasn’t one of them.

“If they’re king and queen, then you’re...” his voice trailed off. The stacks of money that Mingyu had brought with him suddenly made sense.

“Yes, I’m the prince. Actually the next in line in leadership.”

“Woah.”

Mingyu let out a hollow chuckle. “You better not treat me any differently knowing all this.”

“Oh what was that young master?” Wonwoo raised his brows exaggeratedly. “You wanted your sheets changed today?”

“Stooop,” Mingyu whined, playfully pushing his hand away with a hint of a smile on his face. Wonwoo weakly giggled.

Neither of them said anything for a while, letting the information sink in as the air slowly grew serious again.

“Truthfully. I hate being who I am in Aquna,” Mingyu said out loud, the words clear and loud in the open room.

“Is that why you ran away?”

“Kind of,” he frowned. “The evening I ran away. That was the day I was supposed to meet the person I was engaged to.”

“E-engaged?”

The word sent a shudder through his spine. Mingyu and him were the same age, but being engaged to someone at this point in his life? It was unimaginable. He hadn’t even graduated high school for god’s sake.

“I’ve been engaged to them for years, since I was _nine,_ actually,” Mingyu shook his head with a grimace.

“To who exactly?”

“The daughter of this king and queen at a nearby kingdom. The relationship between our two kingdoms has been difficult for decades. Fighting over land and resources and all that... so her family made a pact with mine to try and fix the situation. ”

“And you two. Are supposed to be the solution,” Wonwoo said pointedly, trying to keep the worry out of his voice.

“It’s just politics,” Mingyu sighed. “We need to show a better image of the relationship between the two kingdoms. We’re supposed to get married some time after we’re legally adults. And since I’m almost 18... they figured it was time for us to meet.”

He bit his lips, unable to find the right words to say. Mingyu simply sat there, his head hanging low in defeat.

Wonwoo hated the downtrodden look in his eyes—it didn’t suit him. Mingyu who was always so bright, and curious, and _happy_. And made Wonwoo happy too. Mingyu, who had quickly become his comfort in all the harshness of the world. But Wonwoo was struggling to be the same thing for him.

“I... I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t need to say anything,” Mingyu whispered, looking away from him. “I’m not going back.” As he said this, his face contorted into something that bordered anger. Yet just below the stormy surface of his emotions, his pupils quivered with unsaid fear, and helplessness. “I’m not going through with that marriage. I- I _can’t.”_ Mingyu’s voice cracked a little at the end.

“Mingyu...”

“It’s just not fair _,”_ he choked out. He shook his head, eyes growing glassier with the passing second, and his voice bled into a scratchy tone as he pelted out more words like hailstones around them. “I can’t help but watch everyone else my age, moving on with their lives around me. They have so much choice in deciding their own futures, and they don’t even fully realize it. And I’m just stuck here. My parents say it’s a sacrifice you need to make for the kingdom. But I can barely take care of _myself_. How do they expect me to look after a whole kingdom? I don’t know what to do. I just feel so... so _lost_.”

Fresh tears dribbled down Mingyu’s cheeks at the last word and Wonwoo’s chest tightened. He abruptly stood up from the bathroom floor, unsure of what he was doing as he stood over Mingyu.

What could he possibly say to make Mingyu feel better right now?

Hesitantly, he reached out and cupped his cheeks.

“You’re right, it’s not fair at all,” Wonwoo said after a few seconds. “Maybe I don’t personally understand your situation a whole lot but...” he paused, brushing away his tears and smoothing out his bangs, “feeling like you’re trapped and don’t have the freedom to choose who you want to be? In a way... I get that.”

Mingyu sniffed loudly, his eyes enlarging slightly as he stared at him.

“I’m sorry you feel all lost,” Wonwoo said. “B-but I’m here. I’ll stay by your side. If we’re lost... we can be lost together.”

Without any warning, Mingyu pushed forward and wrapped his arms around Wonwoo’s waist, head pressed against his stomach.

“You will?” he said the words so quietly, it was like a stray leaf weakly blowing through the wind, powerless and wilted.

“Yeah. Of course,” Wonwoo smiled sadly, every inch of his chest aching for Mingyu. “You’re the one that said you won’t leave me alone. So, neither will I.”

Eventually Mingyu got up from the bath. He clearly regained some of his energy, but he was still fairly weak. He struggled to lean down and pick up his towel and robe. After getting out of the tub, Wonwoo had to help him bring him to his room. Bora came by to offer her assistance and check up on Mingyu, but Wonwoo just shook his head.

“I can handle it,” he told her.

Once they reached Mingyu’s room, Wonwoo helped him change into some comfortable clothing. Mingyu’s movements were sluggish and weak and he could barely keep himself upright without support. The moment he was changed, Wonwoo tucked him into bed.

“Get some sleep okay?” he smiled weakly.

He didn’t need to say it twice. Mingyu fell asleep within mere minutes of hitting the pillows, and at last Wonwoo’s tense muscles relaxed a little. The exhaustion of everything that happened settled deep into his bones.

He sat at the edge of the mattress, gently carding his fingers through Mingyu’s soft black locks. His sleeping face was peaceful. There was slight bags under his eyes, probably from his condition worsening over the last few days, but his skin had gained a lot of its colour back.

Wonwoo glanced over to the doorknob at the entrance, ears craning for any sound of Bora. He held his breath to only be met with stillness. Swiftly, he placed a quick kiss on Mingyu’s forehead, before slipping out of the room.

The next day, Mingyu caught a cold. It was probably from the fact that his body had already weakened, and spending too long in the bath was easily enough to make him sick. By evening he was running on a mild fever and coughing and sneezing constantly. Bora only had expired Tylenol in the house which was no help, so Wonwoo had to go to the pharmacy for some medicine.

It was sunset when he stepped out of Bora’s car from his run to the nearby drugstore— though the sky wasn’t its typical vibrant reds and purples today as a dull gray overcast hung over the land. 

The air was oddly frigid, and a stinging cold sea breeze blew through the area causing goosebumps to line his bare arms.

Why hadn’t he worn a hoodie? This was definitely the chilliest of summer evenings he’d experienced here so far.

As he turned to shield himself from the wind, his eyes fell on two figures that stood on the other side of the front yard, in the neighbour’s driveway. Their figures were illuminated by the lights at the front of the house.

Wonwoo shuffled forward until their faces sharpened. It was Seungcheol, along with the same unmistakable boy with long brown hair that he’d seen a grand total of two times— three, including this moment. Jeonghan.

They were standing closer together, heads bowed, and mouths set in serious lines as they spoke.

Had they really gotten back together?

Did Seungcheol manage to patch things up?

Wonwoo was curious, but he probably shouldn’t interrupt their conversation. With one last glance in their direction, he turned to head up the driveway.

He had one foot on the steps up to the porch when Seungcheol’s voice stopped him in his tracks.

“Hey Wonwoo!”

He slowly turned. Seungcheol’s teeth were all on display in a bright smile, while Jeonghan simply wore a neutral expression. 

Wonwoo weakly waved back.

Seungcheol insistently motioned him towards them. With a soft sigh, he gave in and crossed the yard between their houses.

“Hey, what’s up,” Wonwoo said as he approached them.

“Nothing much,” Seungcheol shrugged, “Just wanted to know how you were. You left the party pretty quickly last time I saw you.”

Jeonghan glanced back and forth between them curiously.

“Oh right,” Seungcheol perked up and motioned to Jeonghan. “Jeonghan, this is Wonwoo. My neighbour’s nephew. He’s just living here for the summer.”

Wonwoo did his best to muster up a smile. Being around strangers always made him a little awkward. “Nice to meet you,” he said. “I’ve um… heard about you.”

At this, Jeonghan wore a knowing look in his eyes. “Have we… met?” he asked.

“Uhhhh,” Wonwoo frowned. The only time Jeonghan could’ve seen him was when he was fighting out here with Seungcheol right before they broke up. It probably wasn’t the best idea to bring that up again. “I think we just saw each other once. I can’t remember when, but yeah,” he settled to say instead, scratching the back of his head sheepishly.

“Oh I see,” Jeonghan smiled. “So how did you two meet?”

“Huh?”

“I mean you and Seungcheol.”

“Oh,” Wonwoo chuckled nervously under Jeonghan’s searching gaze. “We just ended up running into each other often, being neighbours and all you know?”

Jeonghan nodded.

“So where’s Mingyu?” Seungcheol asked. “It’s surprising whenever I see you two not attached at the hip.”

Wonwoo blushed down at the white paper bag he was holding from the pharmacy.

“Mingyu?” Jeonghan tilted his head in question. His straight hair fell to the side gracefully, revealing a delicate gold chain around his neck. A small cross pendant dangled on the chain, stark against his navy sweater.

A confused and inexplicable mix of emotions swirled through Wonwoo all at once.

“A kid my neighbour is renting out a room to,” Seungcheol explained.

“He actually got sick, probably just a cold,” Wonwoo frowned, unable to tear his eyes away from Jeonghan’s necklace. “I went to the drugstore to get some Tylenol and cough drops for him.”

“Dang, I hope he feels better soon.”

“Yeah me too…”

An awkward few seconds of silence hung in the air before Seungcheol turned to Jeonghan. “Hannie didn’t you say you needed to help your dad with something?”

Jeonghan startled a little, turning on his phone screen to check the time.

“Shit, I totally forgot,” he groaned. “Anyway I’m late. Do you want to meet up tomorrow?”

“Yeah of course, just text me when you’re free,” Seungcheol said.

“Okay,” Jeonghan smiled. He shifted the weight of his feet, seeming to hesitate for a second, before he quickly leaned forward and placed a light peck on Seungcheol’s cheeks.

His cheeks mirrored the same pink that Seungcheol had as he started walking backwards away from them.

“See you around Wonwoo,” Jeonghan called out.

Wonwoo weakly waved. “Yeah, see you,” he said, only hoping his face held the most neutral of smiles, Jeonghan’s cross necklace still glinting in the corner of his mind.

“So,” he said expectantly, once Jeonghan’s car disappeared from view.

“So,” Seungcheol echoed.

“You two are back together now?”

“I mean… not exactly, no,” Seungcheol sighed. “We’re working on it.”

“Well, I’m glad. You seem a lot happier with him, than without.” 

“Yeah I know,” Seungcheol smiled.

“Anyway, I’m gonna go. Need to go take care of a sick Mingyu.”

Seungcheol smiled. “Yeah you go do that.”

He turned to head back across the yard to the house when Seungcheol suddenly said, “Wonwoo, wait.”

“Hmm?” he asked, twisting his body around with a raise of his brows.

“What _are_ Mingyu and you exactly again?”

A sudden jolt shuddered through him at the question. That was it. That was the question he never wanted to hear. Wonwoo frowned.

“I mean, Jeonghan and I are just taking it slow since he’s still hurt over everything that happened,” Seungcheol continued. “And like… I just want him to trust me again you know? But you and Mingyu… I don’t really understand that.”

“What’s there to understand?” Wonwoo shrugged noncommittally and avoided eye contact.

“I mean, I saw how you two were at the party. So clearly, you’re more than just friends.”

“Do we have to be anything?” Wonwoo sighed. “We’re just… _us_. That’s all.”

“You know you can’t go on this way forever right?”

Wonwoo sucked in a sharp breath. “Who said anything about _forever_?” he snapped. “You’re so dramatic, just cause you and Jeonghan are like that. Not everyone wants that okay?”

Seungcheol only stared at him, unaffected by whatever he just hurled at him. Wonwoo had never been good at masking his feelings, try as he might— and Seungcheol saw straight through it all, with every little crack or crevice he showed.

“Look I’m not here to judge your relationship, whatever that might be,” he said. “But I’m just saying you two need to be on the same page… which I get the feeling you’re not.”

Wonwoo’s shoulders drooped, unable to stay irritated at Seungcheol as a way to defend himself.

“Or more like… you know what Mingyu wants,” Seungcheol continued. “And you’re avoiding it.”

Wonwoo parted his lips to respond, but no words came out. He had nothing to say. He couldn’t deny, nor agree with those words. His lower lip wobbled, and he clenched the sides of his pants, shoulders curling in defensively.

Seungcheol’s words _stung_ — maybe because he knew it was the truth. And even though he’d pushed himself to open up to Mingyu, give in to his feelings for Mingyu… in the end he was a coward. He would always be.

Maybe Seungcheol saw the state Wonwoo was in, because his features softened and he suddenly stepped closer, reaching out to hold his shoulders.

“Hey no, it’s okay,” he said. “I didn’t mean to push you like that. I’m just saying, you should be careful. So you two don’t hurt each other.”

Wonwoo nodded weakly.

The worst part was, he wasn’t sure what would hurt more— the fallout of genuinely being with Mingyu, or losing him altogether.

“Anyway, Mingyu is probably wondering where you are about now,” he smiled and gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Don’t worry so much okay? Take your time to figure things out.”

“Okay,” he whispered. “Bye.”

“See you Wonwoo.”

Seungcheol’s words didn’t leave his mind all while he went back to Bora’s house and headed up to Mingyu’s room.

Mingyu was sniffling and huddled in bed with a puffy face. Even through his watery eyes, his entire face brightened when he saw Wonwoo.

“You’re back,” he said with a rasp.

“Yep,” Wonwoo nodded and busied himself looking for the thermometer with a forced smile. “Sit up, let’s take your temperature.”

He obliged and Wonwoo kept his eyes trained on the little mole under Mingyu’s left cheekbone as he took his temperature and waited for the needle to sound.

It looked like Mingyu’s fever hadn’t gone up since the last time he checked, which was good. Wonwoo blinked at the blue patterned wallpaper behind Mingyu’s head as he handed him medicine and a glass of water, only absentmindedly nodding as he thanked him.

‘ _You know you can’t go on this way forever right?’_

Seungcheol’s voice was all too loud, and repeatedly ringing through his brain.

“Anyway, I’ll leave you to rest,” Wonwoo said once Mingyu had finished the glass of water. “Sleep well.”

He got up to head towards the door when there was a sharp tug on his clothes. Mingyu was clutching onto the fabric of his shirt, looking up at him with bleary eyes from the bed.

“What’s wrong?” Wonwoo asked.

“It’s just…” Mingyu frowned. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah everything is fine,” Wonwoo said with a tight lipped smile. “Why do you ask?”

“You seem to be worried about something. You keep avoiding my eyes.”

He shook his head. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry Mingyu,” he said, leaning down to brush the hair that fell over Mingyu’s eyes. Wonwoo momentarily admired how handsome he looked even when he was sick. “Get some rest okay?”

Mingyu frowned, seemingly not very convinced by his statement. Still, he nodded and released his hold from Wonwoo’s shirt.

“Okay,” he whispered.

That was the problem. Mingyu was too soft. He was too unconditionally accepting at whatever Wonwoo said or did. It was beginning to hurt his heart.

He whipped around and exited the room before they could exchange any more words.

With heavy steps, he went back outside to sit on the porch steps. The sun must have set in its entirety as the sky was now an inky blue, and all the street side lampposts had flickered on. Wonwoo breathed in the cool breeze, and closed his eyes to clear his head.

He sighed and hung his head, propping his elbows on his knees.

The whir of a car engine rolled through the empty street. Wonwoo straightened his posture as a black Toyota pulled up to park on the roadside next to Bora’s house.

Once the car engine died down, the front door slipped open and a familiar figure stepped out from the vehicle.

His throat instantly went dry, and he held his breath as this person turned to face him, shrouded in yellow lamp light.

The entirety of the world seemed to come to a standstill as Wonwoo’s eyes locked with theirs.

“Soonyoung?” he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit late, but I really hope I can get one more chapter out this month ><
> 
> Also please do tell me your thoughts and stuff so far! <3


	11. Mascaret II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soonyoung and Wonwoo finally talk—
> 
> while Mingyu holds back a lot.

Wonwoo slowly got up from the porch stairs. 

Soonyoung’s gaze on him was unmoving as he made his way towards the house.  
  
_Should he run?_

The thought flashed through him like an alarm. His legs had become the consistency of jelly, wobbling beneath him as though they would give away any second now. He couldn’t run even if he wanted to.  
  
“Hey,” Soonyoung said once he stood no less than three feet in front of him.  
  
Wonwoo opened his mouth, but no sound came out.  
  
“You must be surprised huh,” Soonyoung scratched the back of his head sheepishly. He smiled nervously at him. Wonwoo could only meet his eyes in stunned silence, and Soonyoung’s shaky smile immediately slipped off his face into serious lines.  
  
“Sorry for showing up without telling you,” he said. You… you didn’t answer my text. But I just thought, the only way to properly talk to you was in person. I know you might not want to talk though. I just. I just really wanted to and…” Soonyoung’s voice trailed off, his rambling fading into the night air.  
  
Wonwoo tried speaking again, and again nothing came out. He was at a loss of words.  
  
What was he supposed to say? He didn’t know how to interact with Soonyoung anymore. He didn’t even know what they were. And why was he here anyway? 

“Wonwoo!” Bora’s voice filtered out from inside the house. “Don’t forget to lock the door when you come insi—”  
  
Her sentence cut short with a squeak of the front door-screen opening, and then swishing shut. “Huh? Who is this?”  
  
Wonwoo shifted sideways as she stood out on the porch, her arms folded in question.  
  
“I… um…” Wonwoo racked his now empty brain for a coherent sentence. “Well this is… uh— ”  
  
“I’m really sorry for intruding!” Soonyoung blurted out. His body snapped into a bow, and Bora quirked up a brow towards him. Wonwoo could only weakly shrug.  
  
“Um I’m Soonyoung. Wonwoo’s…” he darted his eyes towards him before flitting back to Bora. “F-friend from school. Yeah um. I just… I wanted to meet him for a little while. I kind of came without saying so. I’m sorry.”  
  
_Friend._  
  
The word settled deep into his bones. Is that what they were? Is that what Soonyoung still saw him as? That’s not what he’d been telling himself the past few months.  
  
“Huh. Okay then…” Bora said. If the furrow on her face was anything to go by, she clearly had many questions.  
  
“I was trying to get here earlier, but there was such bad traffic today it was crazy,” Soonyoung said. “B-but I’ll be on my way soon.”  
  
“Oh don’t be silly,” Bora shook her head. “You live nearly four hours away don’t you? It’s already dark too. You’re definitely welcome to stay here for the night.”  
  
“But I don’t want to be a bother…” Soonyoung’s eyes bore straight into Wonwoo as he said this.  
  
Wonwoo’s jaw tightened.  
  
“Nonsense, it won’t be a bother. I’m already housing two teenage boys, what’s one more for a day gonna do?” Bora shrugged, and then chuckled to herself. “Ah jesus what has my life become?” she murmured, shaking her head at the ground.  
  
“Anyway,” she grinned at Soonyoung. “Don’t worry, of course you can spend the night here.”   
  
“But I…” Soonyoung weakly protested.  
  
“It’s okay,” Wonwoo finally spoke. His voice was so firm and clear, it surprised himself.  
  
It was obvious. Soonyoung wasn’t worried about bothering Bora; he was worried about bothering Wonwoo, which is why he didn’t want to stay. But the mix of confusion and unease bubbling inside of him was diminishing. Maybe it was because of the familiarity of this boy. Like how he rambled when he was nervous, or uncertain, and scared— it strangely comforted him.  
  
“You can stay Soonyoung,” Wonwoo said. “Bora is right, it’s too late. You might fall asleep on the road or something if you go now.”  
  
“See, it’s settled then,” Bora said.  
  
“Huh, what’re you guys doing out here?” A new, raspier voice cut into the conversation.  
  
Mingyu poked his head out of the door screen, before stepping outside. His face and nose was still flushed, but if he was moving around like this, he was clearly feeling a bit better.  
  
“Ah, Wonwoo’s friend came by for a surprise visit,” Bora said.   
  
“Wonwoo’s… friend,” Mingyu repeated slowly, as if digesting the words in the cold air.  
  
Wonwoo tensed. Having Soonyoung and Mingyu in the same space like this— it made no sense. It was like two different worlds colliding that shouldn’t be meeting at all. Wonwoo’s body froze as they looked at one another for the first time.  
  
“I’m Mingyu,” Mingyu smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes as he shuffled down the steps to where they were standing. He was wearing a robe over his pajamas and had flimsy bathroom slippers on. “I’m just… a tenant here I guess.”  
  
“Oh I see! Nice to meet you, I’m Soonyoung.”  
  
Wonwoo held his breath, searching for something that revealed how Mingyu felt right now. And yet his face remained unreadable despite Soonyoung’s introduction.  
  
“Nice to meet you too,” Mingyu said. He paused, then parted his lips to say something else. But before he could let any words out, his face scrunched up and he twisted his body to the side, sneezing into the crook of his elbow.  
  
Mingyu’s sneeze was all it took for Wonwoo to click back to reality and stop worrying about useless things.  
  
He scowled at Mingyu, stepping closer to him and poking his sides.  
  
“What are you doing out here huh? You’re supposed to be in bed,” Wonwoo said. “You’re not gonna get better at this rate.”  
  
“I couldn’t sleep,” Mingyu whined. “I feel a bit better now anyways.”  
  
“Clearly you’re not better though,” he frowned. “You’re so careless.”  
  
“Okay, okay don’t argue you two,” Bora said. “Let’s all go inside okay? It’s cold out here.”  
  
Mingyu spun around with a “hmph!”, following Bora into the house, with Wonwoo rolling his eyes right behind him.  
  
He stilled at the doorway from the absence of footsteps behind him, before turning around. Soonyoung remained at the base of the porch stairs. His eyes were blank and spaced out, like he was light years away from Wonwoo, not just a few feet.  
  
“Hey, come on,” he gently called out.  
  
Soonyoung blinked up at him like he was suddenly yanked back to reality. He gave Wonwoo a barely there smile before following him inside.  
  
When they were all seated in the living room, Bora folded her arms and scanned the room. “Sooo, sleeping arrangements. Hmmm,” she said, rapidly tapping her foot against the hardwood floor.  
  
“Wonwoo, are you okay with Soonyoung sleeping in your room tonight? You two can share the bed yeah?”  
  
Wonwoo’s brain sputtered and died at that moment, all while Mingyu promptly had a coughing fit.  
  
“B-but won’t they be cramped?” he wheezed out once his coughs died down. “I-I mean, Soonyoung’s a guest!” he rushed out. “He should be most comfortable.”  
  
Bora shook her head. “It shouldn’t be cramped. I mean it’s a queen sized bed after all. Besides, it’s not as if you and Wonwoo can share instead, to let Soonyoung have his own bed. You’re sick Mingyu.”  
  
Mingyu’s body practically deflated at the obvious statement.  
  
“I… okay…” he whispered and looked away. He wouldn’t meet Wonwoo’s eyes after that and Wonwoo was yet again at a loss of words of what he could say to make the situation easier for all of them. There was nothing really.   
  
“Um look, I don’t want to bother Wonwoo,” Soonyoung suddenly spoke up. “I can just sleep on the couch or something and—”  
  
“But that’ll be a bit uncomfortable. Are you sure?” Bora frowned. “Mingyu is right, you’re a guest after all. If you really don’t want to share, Wonwoo can sleep on the couch, right Wonwoo?”  
  
His spaced out mind shook, as if to try and wake him up as Bora raised her brows at him.  
  
It was hard to process all this— Soonyoung sitting barely a few feet away from him, Soonyoung under the same roof as him, Soonyoung sharing a room with him like they’d done for so many nights staying at each other’s house... This was too much like an estranged dream that he couldn’t wake up from. It was like seeing a ghost he never thought he’d see again. Oh how wrong that was.  
  
“W-what? He doesn’t need to sleep on the couch! I don’t have a problem with sharing,” Soonyoung rapidly shook his head. “I just don’t want to make Wonwoo uncomfortable… that’s all.”  
  
“It’s okay,” he said. The words came out on automatic before he could stop them. “I don’t mind. We can share the room.”  
  
Soonyoung’s lips made an ‘o’ in surprise. “Are you sure?”  
  
“Yeah.” Wonwoo said, using his toes to fiddle with his patterned socks that had little bananya cats all over them. They were his favourite pair of socks.  
  
If Bora noticed anything strange about how any of them were acting, she didn’t comment on it.  
  
“Well I’m tired now, so I’m gonna head to bed early,” she simply said, stretching her arms above her head and yawning. “If you boys need extra blankets and pillows, look in the closet in the hallway upstairs okay?”  
  
Soonyoung repeatedly thanked her even though she told him it was okay and there was no need to be so formal.  
  
Mingyu was the second to leave.  
  
He didn’t say anything to Wonwoo in particular, nor did he look him in the eyes.  
  
“Goodnight,” is all he said aloud, before turning away.  
  
“Night. Um, f-feel better!” Soonyoung said and Mingyu only nodded in response.  
  
A heavy weight pressed into Wonwoo’s chest at the way Mingyu’s broad back drooped slightly and moved further away from him to head up the stairs. If it were just the two of them, Wonwoo would’ve pulled him into a hug, maybe been brave enough to press a kiss against his cheeks, all while Mingyu whined that he would give Wonwoo his cold at this rate.  
  
But that couldn’t happen. Not with Soonyoung here of course. He clenched his hands into fists against his pants to keep himself from running after Mingyu.  
  
Was Mingyu hurt right now? Was he angry at Wonwoo that he had to pretend that they were nothing special to each other? When would he stop being okay with this? Maybe Wonwoo would find out soon.  
  
He took a heavy gulp while Soonyoung suddenly cleared his throat.  
  
Oh right. Wonwoo had another problem to worry about first.  
  
He averted his eyes from the exit leading to the stairs that Mingyu had disappeared behind, and turned to Soonyoung.  
  
“Um, hey… sorry,” Soonyoung said, staring down at his lap.  
  
“What for?” he asked.  
  
“I said I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, but I clearly did.”  
  
“It’s not a big deal,” Wonwoo said, not entirely knowing how much he actually meant it.  
  
“D-do you even want to talk to me though?”  
  
“Does it matter Soonyoung?” he sighed. “You’re here aren’t you?”  
  
“I spent the whole drive questioning whether I should turn right back around,” he said. “Even when I got here and saw you, I wanted to make up a stupid excuse and leave.”  
  
“But you didn’t.”  
  
“Yeah, I guess I was desperate. You didn’t answer my text but I came anyway.”  
  
“How did you even find this place?” Wonwoo asked.  
  
“I went to your house. Your older brother answered the door, and gave me this address.”  
  
Wonwoo’s stomach rolled.  
  
He hadn’t spoken to Junsu in forever. How was he doing? Was his summer job going well? He tensed as he pictured himself standing back at the highschool pool the day of his panic attack, and his brother’s cold eyes and back still drifted through his mind.  
  
“D-did he say anything else to you?” Wonwoo mustered up the courage to ask.  
  
“Your brother?”  
  
“Yeah…”  
  
Soonyoung frowned. “He did actually. He said something about how it’s better that I stayed away from you anyway. And that you’re not worth my time. I… I don’t know why he said that.”  
  
Wonwoo’s shoulders sagged. Those words weren’t surprising at all, but they hurt more than they should. Of course his brother finds him disappointing. Not worth Soonyoung’s time.  
  
“Did you two get in a fight or something?” Soonyoung blinked innocently at him.  
  
Wonwoo sat in silence for a few prolonged seconds.  
  
What would happen if he told the truth? Would the world fall apart? Would he fall apart? Would Soonyoung be disgusted, uncomfortable, estranged, especially because they had been friends for so long? There were many possibilities.  
  
“Never mind,” Soonyoung interrupted his thoughts with a shake of his head. “You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to. But… I’d really like it if you told me something else.” He paused and took a deep breath. “Sana told me you know?”  
  
Wonwoo’s heart instantly jumped to his throat.  
  
“Don’t get mad at her,” Soonyoung immediately added. “I kinda forced her to tell me because I knew she was hiding something, and it was clear she felt really guilty about the whole thing.”  
  
“What did she tell you?” is all he whispered, doing his best to hide the tremble from his voice.  
  
The answer was obvious, but he asked anyway. 

Soonyoung met his eyes knowingly.  
  
“You know what.”  
  
“Not really. I don’t,” he broke their eye contact, afraid that he wouldn’t be able to block the emotion out of his face if he kept looking at Soonyoung.  
  
“Wonwoo please. I came all this way because I just…” his voice cracked slightly. His lips were drawn into a thin line, and his eyes wavered with unspoken emotion. 

Wonwoo balled his hands into fists against his legs, bracing himself for whatever unknown reason.  
  
“I knew since that day you weren’t telling me everything,” Soonyoung continued talking. “But your words hurt. So I stayed angry at you despite that. But I’m just tired now, and I don’t want to be angry at you anymore. So please. Tell me why you lied about what happened between you and Sana,” he pleaded. “Why did you say you kissed her when it was clearly the other way around? Why would you get upset at her, but then turn around and tell me it was purposely to hurt my feelings? She told me how horrible you seemed to feel after the whole thing.”  
  
“I…” Wonwoo took a shaky exhale. He clutched the fabric of his jeans harder. “If I say I can’t tell you, what will you do?”  
  
Soonyoung stared at him, eyes wide like he didn’t expect an answer like that.  
  
“I… I came all the way here though,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. He lowered his chin, blonde bangs falling over his eyes and Wonwoo’s heart twisted painfully.  
  
Soonyoung’s shoulders quivered slightly, and warning bells shuddered through Wonwoo at the thought of him crying.  
  
How could Wonwoo deal with himself if Soonyoung cried again, because of him?  
  
His hand shot forward to touch him, only to stop midair as Soonyoung looked back up to him. His pupils wavered, but there were no tears. Instead, he clenched his jaw tighter, almost in determination. Wonwoo blinked in surprise.  
  
“We don’t even have to be friends again,” he whispered this time. “If you really don’t want to be friends anymore, fine. It’s fine. That’s not what I want, but… I’ll respect that, if that’s your choice. Can you still not give me an explanation?”  
  
Every fibre in him tensed. Soonyoung just wanted to know. That’s all he wanted. Wonwoo should give that to him. If anything, it felt like he owed him that.  
  
And yet.  
  
Out of everything that had been said these past minutes, the only thing running through his mind in bolded letters was Soonyoung declaring that he would let go of their friendship.  
  
_‘If you really don’t want to be friends anymore, fine.’_  
  
“But I do.”  
  
The words fell out of his mouth before Wonwoo could stop them.  
  
Soonyoung stared at him for some delayed seconds.  
  
“Huh?” he finally said.  
  
“I want to still be friends,” Wonwoo repeated.  
  
Soonyoung blinked, eyes blank and lost. The air was thick with silence, almost like a suffocating blanket.  
  
And Soonyoung’s coming words were even heavier.

“You can’t tell me why you platonic dumped me in the meanest way like 7 months ago. But you want to still be friends?”  
  
“I...” Wonwoo’s jaw stopped functioning. “I’m being stupid sorry, never mind,” he said and abruptly got up from the couch. “Just forget whatever I said. I’m tired and I just want to sleep and—”  
  
Soonyoung grabbed his arm to stop him from walking off.  
  
“Wait.”  
  
Their eyes locked and he couldn’t find it in himself to shake the hand away despite the loose hold. 

Soonyoung’s eyes were unreadable. Then with a slow, resigned sigh, he got up to face Wonwoo.  
  
“If it has to be one or the other. I choose the latter,” he said out loud.  
  
“W-what?”  
  
“If I have to pick between you telling me why you did what you did, or you and I staying friends. I choose the second option.”  
  
“Soonyoung...”

“Because that’s what you want. I mean, there has to be a reason you can’t tell me right?” he tilted his head, a small but melancholic smile lingering in his features. “I’ll trust you.” 

Wonwoo gulped heavily, ears buzzing at this declaration.

Who knew someone’s unconditional acceptance and trust could make his head hurt so much. It was suffocating. Soonyoung’s kind smile that he’d pined after for so many years was still there, and it was suffocating. 

“Let’s go to sleep,” Soonyoung said, giving his shoulders a gentle reassuring squeeze, before moving past him. 

Wonwoo remained still on the spot even as Soonyoung’s footsteps carried out of the living room, and up the stairs.

He didn’t deserve this. Soonyoung should push him, he should be angrier— but he wasn’t at all. He still somehow had his arms held out, and space in his heart to trust him despite everything. 

The back of Wonwoo’s eyes stung. 

Before he could do something stupid like cry, Soonyoung’s voice called out to him from upstairs.

“Hey Wonwoo, you’re gonna have to tell me which one is your room.” 

He shakily exhaled and squeezed his eyes shut. He had to get his emotions under control. 

Slowly, he carried himself up as well. 

“This is it,” he said when he’d joined him upstairs, pushing open the door closest to them. 

They got ready for bed in more or less silence. He gave Soonyoung a change of clothes and also managed to find a new toothbrush in one of Bora’s bathroom cupboards. 

“I really wasn’t planning to stay!” Soonyoung said, explaining why he hadn’t brought anything with him. “The traffic messed up my plans.” 

Wonwoo just sighed with a nod.

They brushed in silence, but that didn’t stop Soonyoung from grinning at him through the mirror, toothpaste dribbling out of his mouth. Wonwoo wrinkled his nose in disgust, to which he only giggled at, and wiped his chin.

Them brushing together like this was oddly nostalgic. They used to sleepover at each other's houses all the time, more so in elementary and middle school. Back then, Soonyoung would usually find a way to keep up his silly chatter even with his mouth full of toothpaste. Meanwhile, Wonwoo would nod along until his friend made a total mess. Of course in his mind, this was all just _endearing_. Yes, he was stupidly whipped for this boy. 

Wonwoo shook his head with a sigh.

Everything was really different now.

Their heights and facial features had changed, the situation had changed, even their relationship had changed. Despite all that, there was this off-putting sense of normalcy at the way Soonyoung genuinely smiled at Wonwoo like this again, with his cheeks bunched up and eyes scrunched into cute lines. 

It was as though nothing happened at all. It didn’t make sense. 

Wonwoo had spent so many days hoping, even praying, that everything would just go back to normal. He just wanted all of it back. Back to swimming, back to his regular friendships with Soonyoung and even the rest of the swim team, back to not screwing up his grades, back to normalcy with his family. 

But somewhere along all of that ‘going back’, there was Kim Mingyu. 

That boy had somehow seared himself into Wonwoo’s mind. His bright almond eyes and shimmering tail that set pools of water alight in fractals wouldn’t fade. His firm yet gentle touch against Wonwoo’s skin, against his lips, burned into memory. 

“Hey, getting ready for bed like this, doesn’t it remind you of our old sleepovers together?”” Soonyoung said brightly, unfazed by the silence as they headed back to his room.

So he wasn’t the only one reminiscing huh? 

“Yeah,” he whispered.

“I’m glad!” Soonyoung stretched his arms and Wonwoo’s shirt hung baggily on his frame. “It didn’t feel normal ignoring you for most of the year.” 

Wonwoo's shoulders sagged in on themselves. 

_Normal._

Soonyoung was just like him. He wanted to go back to normal too.

But Mingyu wasn’t part of that normal.

Wonwoo slumped back against his closed door, and slid down to the ground, pulling his knees up to his chest in the process.

Soonyoung twisted part way around at the sound of his body slumping down. 

“Hey what are you doing? That’s not the bed you know,” he said almost cheekily as he approached him.

When he crouched down in front of Wonwoo however, his smile faded.

“What’s wrong?” 

Wonwoo buried his face into the crook of his arms that rested against his knees.

“You should stop,” he mumbled. 

“Stop what?”

“Being all nice to me.”

For many seconds there was no response, and Wonwoo gradually lifted his head.

Even though Soonyoung was right in front of him, no less a foot or two apart, his eyes were so far away. His lips drooped in a frown with this unmistakable sadness. 

“You know why I went to talk to Sana in the first place?” Soonyoung eventually whispered. 

Wonwoo slowly shook his head. 

“I was scared.” 

_Scared?_

“T-that day at the pool Wonwoo.” 

Wonwoo’s stomach dropped at the mere verbal reminder of that incident again.

“It terrified me. When you had that, that...” Soonyoung seemed unable to say the words, his voice shaking with bottled up emotion. “I was right there. I watched them pull you out. I just… I just stood and watched. I didn’t know what to do. I’d never ever seen you like that.” 

He paused, sniffling a little before continuing. “I was so worried, but then we just had that fight so I didn’t know how to approach you at all. You seemed okay when you came back to school the next day, but then, then you went and quit the swim team. We’d been together for years, I considered you my closest friend and I thought I knew you better than anyone. But apparently not.” 

Soonyoung’s voice cracked at the last word, and all at once thin lines of tears streamed down his cheeks. On impulse Wonwoo reached out to wipe them away, though his hand froze mid-air with uncertainty. 

Soonyoung rubbed his face with his palms, making his cheeks blotchy and red. 

Wonwoo slowly drew back his hand and his chest ached with the memory of simpler times; times when he could easily comfort his friend without any hesitation, times when he didn’t hurt him at all. 

“I annoyed Sana for _days_ after you quit. I knew she was hiding something, but she wouldn’t say anything to me and just kept apologizing,” Soonyoung said, his voice level again. “So I eventually gave up. But then, around the last few days of school, I overheard you talking to the academic advisor. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop or anything. I was there for a meeting and I just heard it by accident. It was about problems with your grades.” 

Wonwoo gulped heavily. His grades had in fact plummeted that second semester. 

Of course he had flopped his finals first semester, but his marks were already good enough that there was only a small drop in his overall average— nothing too noticeable. Second semester however was a different story. 

All throughout school, Wonwoo never had a single mark under 80 in his report cards. But now there were even some angry 60’s glaring back at him, and he couldn’t even find it in himself to care. Scholarships, report cards, why did all of that even matter? Nothing really seemed to matter anymore.

The school academic advisor of course had been alarmed. 

“Wonwoo, I’m very worried about your progress,” she said to him. “Your grades were fine until this semester. What happened?” 

He kept his head bowed and fiddled with his fingers in her cramped little office. He didn’t book this meeting, but she had been the one to call him in.

“Nothing happened,” he murmured.

It was a blatantly obvious lie to the both of them. 

“The classes you’re taking don’t seem much more difficult than your previous semester. Your course load looks fine too,” she murmured, eyes scrolling through her computer screen that faced away from him. “I could recommend you some tutors, but… I get the feeling that’s not the problem is it?”

Wonwoo clenched his hands together, refusing to respond.

She clicked a few more things with her mouse, and sighed, turning to him. 

“Look, I understand if you don’t want to talk to me. But if you’re struggling with something, you should tell _someone_ yeah?” she said gently. “I could always book an appointment for you with the school counsellor. I’m sure she’ll— 

“What? No!” Wonwoo abruptly stood up, his chair screeching behind him in the process. His advisor blinked up at him, eyes perceptively calm despite the fact that he nearly yelled. “I,” he dropped his voice by several volumes, “I don’t need that.”

“Wonwoo when you enter senior year,” she said slowly, “if I don’t see any improvement, we have to have a meeting with your parents. You know that right?”

Wonwoo’s arms trembled against his sides and he drew in a shaky breath. 

“I know.”

She sighed again, heavier this time.

“Alright, as long as you’re aware. Your grades this coming school year is what universities will be looking at. That, and your SATs. You’ll also have to retake that in fall. Your score when you first took it this spring isn’t, well… the best coming from you.”

“Okay,” Wonwoo said almost mechanically. There was no urgency, or fear and worry in his voice. There was no sense of relief or happiness either. There was just... nothing. 

Somehow he had become this hollow shell moving through the motions of everyday life.

“Before you go, take one,” she instructed him, pointing to a small stack of rectangular cards at the edge of her desk. “It has contact info for the school counsellor, as well as some helplines.”

Wonwoo blankly stared at the cards, until she plucked one out herself and held it out to him, her nails glinting with a peach coloured polish.

“Take it,” she said again, voice firm. This was clearly not up for discussion. 

He took the card with resignation and shoved it into his pocket.

With a blank nod and a barely audible ‘thank you’, he left the advisor’s office and exited from the waiting room. 

His insides felt emptier than ever, but at least the school year was finally over. 

Wonwoo closed his eyes at the memory as he sat on the floor of his aunt’s guest room with Soonyoung in front of him. 

The emptiness he’d felt back then had eased away this past month or so since coming here, at least a little bit. 

“I don’t remember seeing you in the waiting area,” he eventually recalled.

“Yeah, I don’t think you noticed since you walked straight out,” Soonyoung said. “I was sitting outside, closest to her office. The door was left open so I heard some bits.”

He nodded absentmindedly, eyes wavering on Soonyoung’s red rimmed eyes. 

He should stop wasting his tears on someone like Wonwoo. 

“Anyway I spoke to Sana again a few weeks into summer break,” Soonyoung continued saying. “It had been months since the incident, so I think she was able to think more clearly about it. We both were. I couldn’t stop thinking about your talk with the academic advisor. You always took your grades so seriously. I told her I was really worried about you, so she finally gave in and told me what happened, and what you made her promise not to say.”

“Oh.” Wonwoo said. “I see.” 

“Do you though?” Soonyoung gave him a bitter smile. “When Sana told me the truth, I felt horrible. School was over by then, so I texted you but you didn’t answer. I went to your house because I was desperate. You say that I shouldn’t be so nice to you, but I still feel so guilty. I spent months being too much of a coward to approach you when you were probably suffering. Your situation at the pool, you quitting the swim team, your dropping grades… I knew something was really wrong, b-but I still left you alone.”

Soonyoung’s eyes began welling up again, and this time Wonwoo found the courage to take him by the shoulders.

“Stop it!” he said, voice raw and harsh as he gave Soonyoung a small shake. “I told you to leave me alone, remember? I’m the one that pushed you away. You were literally just listening to what I said. How can you be guilty over that?” 

Soonyoung shook his head. “I shouldn’t have left you alone even if you told me to. I’m sorry.”

“You…” Wonwoo didn’t finish the thought, instead pulling Soonyoung between his knees into an impossibly tight hug. 

He squeezed his eyes shut.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. He should be the one apologizing. It was Wonwoo who was actually the biggest coward here.

“I knew what was the right thing to do. But I was being selfish,” Soonyoung said, his voice raspy with emotion. “I was scared to find out that you meant every word of what you said to me when we fought. And that you did actually hate me, and you wouldn’t want my help even if I offered it.

Wonwoo squeezed his arms around him tighter as he pressed his face into his shoulders. Soonyoung wouldn’t see if he cried like this. 

“You know what scared me the most though?” he asked, voice small. 

Wonwoo stilled the moment Soonyoung’s palm found itself between his shoulder blades. He hugged Wonwoo back, clutching onto the fabric of his shirt like he feared Wonwoo would push him away.

“It was that I was one of the reasons why you had that panic attack in the first place,” he whispered. “Because of our fight, w-what if it triggered...” 

Wonwoo’s body tensed and slowly he lifted his head off his shoulders. 

“Soonyoung…”

“It’s true isn’t it? I—”

“No, stop!” Wonwoo cut him off, gritting his teeth in frustration as he met his friend’s eyes. “You can’t just blame things out of your control like that. You never once tried to hurt me, but I tried to hurt you, okay? You got rightfully angry over that. It didn’t matter whatever that fight caused, or didn’t cause... you weren’t in the wrong, so don’t say shit like that!” 

“Maybe,” Soonyoung said with a smile so small and fragile. “But it’s still hard to not feel guilty.” 

“You’re an idiot then,” he whispered, voice rough.

“I know.” 

“I’m really sorry Soonyoung,” he said. He had made his friend feel all this guilt because of his pathetic emotions and cowardly actions. Sorry was the least he could say. 

“I’m sorry too.” 

“You shouldn’t be.” 

“But I am,” Soonyoung smiled with a hint of strength now. “Let’s not keep doing things that we’ll be sorry for from now on, yeah?” 

He had no answer to that. 

When he didn’t respond, Soonyoung got up and held his hand out for him to take. 

“Come on, I’m tired too. Let’s go to bed,” he said, and his small smile made it seem as though a weight had lifted off his chest as he pulled Wonwoo up. 

His steps to the bed were light, and he slipped under the covers with a gentle hum. 

Wonwoo followed behind, blinking up at the gray ceiling once he laid in bed. He was a safe distance away from Soonyoung, and kept his limbs close to himself, careful not to touch him.

“I missed hanging out with you,” Soonyoung suddenly said after a few seconds of silence.

Wonwoo shifted his eyes to the side, and Soonyoung had his head tilted to the side to grin at him. He mumbled out a quiet “Same”, at the dark gray ceiling. Somehow, the darkness only amplified the heaviness in his heart.

He turned on his side to face the door, clutching their shared blanket against his chest. If only he could bury into the covers and hide; but it was summer and the material was thin. 

_‘Let’s not keep doing things that we’ll be sorry for.’_

Truthfully, Wonwoo already had many things to apologize for to many people. And even if he did apologize, what good would it do? What if he’d kept disappointing them over and over? He was good at that.

Sure, Soonyoung was happier after their talk. He’d heard what he wanted to hear. But still, the lump in Wonwoo's throat wouldn’t disappear. There were still things left unsaid. It was wrong to give his friend this false sense of security. 

“Okay,” he finally said out loud.

“Huh?” There was a jump in Soonyoung’s voice. “What is it?” he asked, dazed, like he was already slipping into dreamland and Wonwoo had yanked him out of it. 

“It’s just that you’re right,” he said shakily. “Let’s not… do things we’re sorry for anymore. I just want to apologize to you one last time.”

“Huh? For what?” 

Wonwoo blinked against the darkness. The distance to the door seemed to stretch away from him— as though he couldn’t run off now even if he wanted to. 

He clutched his blanket in his fist even tighter, and let the words fall like a pin drop in the dead silent room. 

“For being in love with you.” 

The seconds that followed were painful. His heartbeat pounded in his ears. When Wonwoo couldn’t bear to wait any longer for a response, he spoke.

“When I realized my feelings for you, it was the first time I realized things could never just be _normal_ with me. With us. I never liked a girl before, and after you, I realized I never would.” He let the words fall fast and hard with a heavy heart. “I told myself I would never ever let you find out the truth, or anyone else for that matter.”

“Won—”

“But that backfired. My parents found out and shit happened. I knew at that point, I had to stop clinging onto these feelings for you. I had already tried to stop, but it was hard when we were constantly together. Sana was an easier way out.” He chuckled bitterly at that. 

“Wonwoo I—”

“After our fight,” he paused, “it hurt to think about you. I missed you as my friend. I missed liking you too, because that had become my normal. But I also…”

He sucked in a sharp breath and slowly turned onto his back. He twisted his head to face Soonyoung who was also on his back, and their eyes met.

Even in the darkness, light from the pale moon filtered through the translucent curtains and casted shadows over their faces. 

“I felt relieved,” Wonwoo whispered. “I beat myself up for so many years because of my feelings for you. So when I realized I could finally let you go, it was freeing. I was free.”

Soonyoung’s eyes wavered in the cold blue light and he closed his parted lips. 

“I’m sorry I kept something this big from you, for so many years,” Wonwoo said. “And that our friendship wasn’t as innocent or genuine as you might’ve thought. I’m most sorry for hurting your feelings those months ago. Truthfully, a part of me wanted you to hate me, because I, I felt like I…” his voice faltered.

“Like you deserved it?” Soonyoung said, voice so small it was almost like he was afraid to ask this. 

“Yeah,” he whispered.

Soonyoung let out a long heavy breath. His silence hung heavy and there were too many words caught mid-air between them.

“I understand if...” Wonwoo hesitated. He tilted his face back up to the ceiling and lowered his eyelids. It was easier to say and accept everything that frightened him if he had his eyes closed. “It’s okay if you’re shocked and don’t know what to say. Or if you’re uncomfortable knowing this and don’t want to be friends anymore, I—”

“Shut up for a second,” Soonyoung cut him off, voice sharp. It was the harshest Wonwoo had heard him since he came here. “J-just give me a moment okay?”

The tick of the clock resonated through the room, and he held his breath. All at once, the sensation of cool skin brushed over his hand, and then slowly enveloped his fingers.

Wonwoo cracked his eyes open, letting the moonlight in fraction by fraction. 

Soonyoung’s hand held his, pressed into the mattress space between them.

“It must’ve been hard,” he said at last. 

Wonwooo didn’t dare reciprocate the touch, only letting Soonyoung find the space between his digits, and pressing the pads of his fingers into the back of Wonwoo’s hand.

“It must have been really hard for you Wonwoo,” he repeated. “Having to deal with that all by yourself.”

“I guess it was a bit… lonely,” Wonwoo answered. 

“Don’t assume that I don’t want to be friends with you anymore. Don’t ever say that. W-why would I… just cause you’re—” Soonyoung’s voice seemed to twist in on itself before breaking off in frustration.

“It’s not just that,” Wonwoo smiled bitterly at the ceiling. “I mean. Isn’t it weird, that I liked you of all people? That I maybe was, even in love with you? When you never saw me that way.” 

“I mean,” Soonyoung paused, “I do... I do love you. It’s just...” 

“...not the same?” Wonwoo finished the sentence for him this time.

Soonyoung let out a deep exhale. “Whether you love someone, or if you are _in_ love with them... it’s just the difference of two words. Just two. Right?” 

“They couldn’t be more different though,” he chuckled.

“It doesn’t mean I care about you any less.” 

Wonwoo’s bitter smile softened at the edges. “I guess not.” 

“I won’t let go,” Soonyoung declared, louder now, confident against the fragile atmosphere. He lifted their joined hands, and squeezed tighter. “I won’t let go, unless you tell me to. I’ll always be in a corner of your world— in whatever corner that might be. Unless you tell me to leave.”

“Well, I guess that’s that then,” Wonwoo chuckled. Slowly, he curled his fingers, and returned Soonyoung’s touch, giving his hand a light squeeze. “I don’t have the heart to make you leave. I’d miss your dumb face too much.” 

“Good,” Soonyoung laughed and lowered their hands. Without letting go, he turned on his side to face him, and Wonwoo mirrored the action. 

Their eyes met, and it was as though all the fear, the bitterness, the confusion… all of that which came with meeting Soonyoung again was dissolving away like sugar in water.

“I don’t know the situation with your family right now,” he said. “But I know I probably wasn’t there when you needed me most. I’ll make sure I am from now on.” 

Wonwoo couldn’t help but let the corners of his lips gently lift up.

“And I’ll tell you the truth from now on,” he whispered. 

The next morning, Soonyoung, Wonwoo and Mingyu sat at the breakfast table with omelettes that Mingyu had cooked up for the three of them. 

Wonwoo had taught him how to make fried eggs a week or two ago. It was honestly a little disheartening how much better his fried eggs clearly were than Wonwoo’s, despite that being his first time cooking on land (of course that being said, he was proud of him too). Since the fried eggs, Mingyu had taught himself how to cook eggs every possible way, by watching youtube videos on Wonwoo’s phone.

Soonyoung was currently scrolling through instagram, and Wonwoo’s eyes flitted over to his screen. He had deleted the app himself once he quit the swim team, not wanting to see all his teammates posts. 

“Wait wait, what the heck is that!” Wonwoo blurted out, stopping Soonyoung’s fingers from where he was scrolling.

He leaned forward to get a better look at his friends’ phone.

“Is that Joshua, with _Sana_?” He gaped at a selfie of them together on Sana’s instagram.

Joshua was a senior on the swim team, and although he and Wonwoo weren’t as close as him and Soonyoung, he was one of the people he trusted on the team. Sometimes they also hung out after classes.

“Don’t even ask how that happened,” Soonyoung snorted.

Wonwoo furrowed his brows. 

“I mean… doesn’t that make things awkward between you and Joshua?”

“Nah,” he shook his head. “Sana and I are friends now and I spoke with Josh. It’s all good between the three of us.”

“I’m honestly surprised you’re friends with her,” he mumbled.

“I mean… I felt like our relationship was always kinda more like friendship. It was weird. Being friends with her made way more sense. But yeah, she was really genuinely sorry. And like, who doesn’t do stupid shit in highschool sometimes right?” 

“Yeah,” he sighed. “You’re right.” 

“Always am,” he grinned, taking another bite of his food. He was all smiles this morning. 

“Oh, woah Mingyu this is really good!” Soonyoung suddenly exclaimed. “Where did you learn how to make such a good omelette huh?” 

Wonwoo bit back a smile. He probably thought Mingyu had no idea what they were talking about and was changing the topic to be considerate. 

“Internet,” was Mingyu’s clipped, one word response.

Wonwoo frowned. 

The opposite of Soonyoung’s smiles, Mingyu wasn’t like himself at all today. Of course he was no longer sneezing or coughing, and didn’t seem to have a temperature either— however, he didn’t have his usual toothy smile, and was eerily quiet the whole time. 

Wonwoo sat adjacent to him at the table and glanced over, biting his lower lips with worry. Mingyu wouldn’t look his way and kept his eyes trained down at his plate. 

Was he upset because of Soonyoung being here? If that was the case, Wonwoo would have to pull him aside later and tell him that Soonyoung was just his friend and nothing else.

“Good morning you heathens,” Bora called out, interrupting his thoughts. 

Soonyoung and Mingyu greeted her in unison. Wonwoo mumbled out a quiet ‘morning’ a second after them, still transfixed on the way Mingyu’s lips were pulled in a flat, somewhat unhappy line as he picked at his toast. 

Bora shuffled into the kitchen still in her pajamas, and with her hair tied in an unruly mess. She flicked on the coffee machine before turning to the stove. 

“Oh Mingyu! You made me eggs too?” she exclaimed.

“Yeah,” Mingyu nodded. “I hope it’s okay. You can reheat it, if it’s cold already.” 

“No it seems fine,” she said and ruffled Mingyu’s hair on her way to the table with her plate in hand. “Thanks kid.” 

“You’re welcome,” Mingyu mumbled with a tiny smile. 

Wonwoo furrowed his brows in confusion. 

When did they get so close? This was the first time today that he’d seen Mingyu actually smile. 

“Yeah thanks Mingyu,” Soonyoung added.   
  
Mingyu didn’t answer, and only gave a curt nod of his head without looking up. Wonwoo’s frown deepened. He was being way too cold to Soonyoung. 

Soonyoung on the other hand, didn’t seem to mind the lack of response. He probably thought this was just the boy’s personality. Instead, he had his eyes transfixed out at the scenery from the patio doors. Wonwoo followed his line of sight, out the glass panes.

The sky was a cloudless azure today, and the ocean was an even deeper shade of blue, sparkling in the sunlight.

“It feels like forever since I’ve been to the coast,” Soonyoung sighed with a smile. “Hey, remember in middle school, that awesome swim team trip we had? And we got to spend a whole weekend at the beach? The hotel was so nice too.” 

Wonwoo chuckled at the memory. The weather had been perfect that whole trip and Soonyoung and him stayed swimming and playing in the ocean, until their skin shriveled like prunes and their coach yelled at them to get out.

“Yeah. Remember the part where you got badly sunburned?” Wonwoo said.

“Oh man, don’t remind me.” 

“You looked like a lobster,” he giggled.

“Please. I was a handsome lobster,” Soonyoung stuck up his nose all matter-of-factly.

“Yeah sure,” he snorted. His eyes lingered on Soonyoung a little longer, at the way he kept staring out the glass doors, and a nostalgia Wonwoo didn’t even know existed in him, bubbled up in his chest. All those moments where they played and had fun in the water without a care in the world, instead of practicing or competing, came back to him. The fact that he couldn’t even do that anymore, sent a sharp pang through him. 

“Hey, after breakfast, can we go down to the beach for a few minutes?” Soonyoung suddenly asked. “I want to see the ocean before I go, is that okay?” 

Wonwoo’s muscles instantly tensed. He gulped heavily. He wanted to go with Soonyoung so badly. Yet the mere thought of going down there made him freeze. It was embarrassing.

But… if Mingyu was there with them, it shouldn’t be that bad. 

“Y-yeah, it’s fine,” he answered, failing to keep the shakiness out of his voice. “Mingyu, you’ll come with us right?” 

There was no response.

Mingyu was still staring at his plate, calmly taking bites of his omelette. There was not a single change of expression on his face. 

What was going on in his brain? 

It had never been this hard to read Mingyu before. When he was jealous over Seungcheol, he made it blatantly obvious. But this. This was different. 

The silence that had fallen over the table was stifling, and Wonwoo clenched his fork to keep his hand from trembling.

“Mingyu?” he whispered.

“No,” Mingyu said at last. 

The single word made fear shoot up his spine.

“Oh come on,” Wonwoo pressed, not wanting to give up, and reached out to tug on his arm. “It’ll be fun. It’s not as if any of us are going in the water.” 

“No,” Mingyu repeated almost lifelessly.

“But why?” 

“I don’t feel like it,” Mingyu said. He dropped his fork on his plate with a clank and got up from his seat. With a single icy look, he turned to walk away from them, heading down the hallway.

There was no stopping the way Wonwoo’s hands were shaking now. 

“Hey, Wonwoo it’s fine,” Soonyoung said uneasily. “Maybe Mingyu is not in the mood. Let’s just go, the two of us.”   
  
Wonwoo’s ears buzzed and all sound around him seemed to turn to static. Soonyoung didn’t understand. He didn’t get it. 

Before anyone could stop him, he shot up from his seat and went after Mingyu. 

Mingyu was on the first step of the stairs when Wonwoo grabbed hold of his wrist. 

“What?” he asked flatly once he turned, and they were face to face. “I already told you, I don’t want to.” 

“I know you don’t want to,” he whispered. They were out of hearing range from Soonyoung and Bora, and Wonwoo looked up at him pleadingly. “Even if you don’t, c-can you at least come for _my_ sake? I… I haven’t told Soonyoung about my um… issue. You’re the only one that knows. And going down there still makes me nervous. So please?” 

“Then tell him your issue,” Mingyu snapped, and it was enough to make Wonwoo flinch. “Is it that hard?”

The anxiety clawing through Wonwoo’s chest amplified. 

_Is it that hard?_

He was absolutely pathetic, and he knew it. But the worst part was, Mingyu thought he was pathetic too. 

The back of Wonwoo’s eyes burned. Hot liquid simmered at the corners of his vision, and he rapidly blinked. The only thing that would make the situation worse right now, would be him crying. Yeah no, that definitely could not happen. 

“H-hey I…” Mingyu’s voice wavered, as if the visible state Wonwoo was in was making him hesitate. 

His cold gaze softened, and for a second Wonwoo thought he was going to reach out and pull him into a hug. He didn’t though, and instead looked away. 

“Sorry Wonwoo,” Mingyu whispered.

Wonwoo’s heart sank, and his arms fell limp at his sides as Mingyu left him at the bottom of the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway, I was actually stuck with this chapter and it took ~forever~ to complete, but I'm kinda pleased by how it turned out. 
> 
> Also sorry for that ending, but we can't always have smooth sailing yknow? haha it's honestly hard because I can't show you Mingyu's perspective and thoughts throughout all this, and it's like you only have half the story. But I guess that's the fun part of it haha. It makes me actually want to write side stories at the end, with his perspective? idk if anyone would read that but lol
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading this far. I always love to hear your thoughts on the story in the comments :)))


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